Abandoning my brother or enabling my SIL - he’s my brother !

[Footballfrenzy2021]

My older brother is an addict. He’s been sober/clean for 25 years.
He has 2 beautiful daughters & is married to a saint. His daughters are not their children.
SIL has been amazing.

2 weeks ago a baliff turned up on the doorstep.
My brother has relapsed.
I’m so angry at him .
There are mitigating circumstances but I don’t wAnt to excuse him.
Within a week my SIL has put an offer on a house , kicked him out & wants me to love in with her (I’m single)
It’s just the time scale.
I know he’s fucked up
Do you give someone a chance ?

Offer her support, baby sit, shoulder to cry on, whatever, but moving in sounds a recipe for disaster.

Are the children his or hers? Are they dependent?

I don’t blame her. Bailiffs? Fuck that.

Someone coming to you and discussing the problem, owning up, taking responsibility. Yes, you might give them a chance.

Running up debts and burying his head in the sand? No fucking way.

Sounds too messy. I understand being supportive of SIL when your DB is in the wrong, however as you say he is your DB and if you are going to or want to support him are you going to be able to comfortably do that while living with his ex wife?

I also agree with others, your SILs mortgage is not your responsibility.

How has she put an offer in on a house when bailiffs turned up at the door? Their financial info is linked, if they're married. She won't pass the credit checks. A bailiff means a CCJ and that means adverse credit that will block any mortgage worth having until/unless she can get their names unlinked, and you can't do that in a week. She won't be able to buy this house just as soon as the credit checks are done and she doesn't pass them. And she'd be crazy to when they're still married as he would have a claim on any and all marital assets - as would creditors. And why would a bank lend on someone weeks after their spouse had a CCJ against them?

And how could you abandon your own rental so easily, too? Don't you have to give notice? If it's a purchase resting on the finances of someone with appalling credit history associations, and no immediate plan to address that prior to putting any offers in, then that is a castle built on sand to say the least. This house purchase sounds completely unrealistic.

I'd stay well out of what sounds an absolutely bonkers situation, practically speaking. This can't end well if you get enmeshed.

Moving in with SIL is a very bad idea, she is using you for her own financial security.

She will not want you around when she meets someone new which of course she will, sorry.

Your Brother has his issues and will need your support.