AIBU to want a large celebration?

[betmonkey]

I gave birth 9 months ago and I want to throw a christening for him but I'm unsure whether people will feel comfortable to attend?

I come from a HUGE family and I mean huge. Not even exaggerating there's 20+ aunts and uncles and so many cousins I couldn't even attempt to count right now. That's not even including my partners family. The guest list would be at least 120 people.

I'd really love to have one but don't want to throw a huge party in case people don't feel comfortable to go. I'm not trying to make light of the severity of the pandemic either we've followed all the rules and taken everything seriously but I'm just trying to get a feel on how the people of mumsnet feel about a party?

It would be in November so still a few more months away yet.

YANBU - have the party
YABU - don't risk having the party

I haven't voted.
The thing being, none of us know what the situation will be like in November.
I've just been invited to a party in October, and I've accepted as I hope we can all do that (party) at that time.
I'm double jabbed, I know a lot of the people that will be there, and as a rule they are all people who will have been jabbed and will not be flouting rules, so at this point I feel comfortable about going.

However, last August we were all comfortable 'Eating out to help out' and expecting things to be great during Autumn 2020.
We just don't know how things will change as this is a new virus to the World and whereas UK might have a high % who have had the vaccine, that isn't the same worldwide. Plus, the Gvmnt is constantly trying to balance the health of the nation against the economy.

Sorry - rambling now.

Yes, I'd accept, but I wouldn't hesitate to then cancel nearer the time if things take a downward turn.
I hope they won't.

What pp said. Hopefully November would be ok but if not, I would have a back up plan to move the party to next summer.

Personally, I think November will be fine for a party. Most people (who want to) will have already had the vaccine, CEV people and the elderly will have had their booster jab and it's possible under 16's may have been invited to have it by then too.

We've been invited to a close family member's wedding in October. She has already moved it from June last year, so she's dead set on going ahead, no matter what! I'm CEV and spent most of 2020 at home, so I'm very much looking forward to going to a big social event, catching up with lots of people and having a bit of a dance! Obviously if it's looking dicey, we'll have to give it a miss - I can't afford to take risks with my health - but I am optimistic about it, so am confident that your plans for a Christening and party for your DS will be fine.

If you're still unsure, why not have a chat with a few family members and get a general idea of how they feel about it and go from there? I hope you have a lovely day, whenever it happens!

Go for it

IRL people are doing this stuff.

Where will you hold it?

Could say don't worry about ceremony if not comfy and try and have airy/ outdoor bit but still warm.

You could arrange it, but you have to be aware that it might not happen, and then you will have the hassle of cancelling, trying to get your money back or rearranging for a future date.

You may also have a situation where it can go ahead but only with 15-30 guests and have to remove people from the guest list.

We've had our wedding cancelled twice and I can tell you it's not fun, you have all the build up and planning for it to not happen and then you're dealing with rescheduling and trying to get insurers to pay out.

You are unlikely to be able to get insurance on a big event like that at the moment though, so it also depends if you are happy to lose some money if it doesn't go ahead. You could lose a lot as it might be cancelled last minute when you've already paid for most things.

Personally I wouldn't do it, I'd plan something for next year instead, but it just depends how much the risk bothers you both financially and emotionally.

As others have said no no one knows what November may bring.

But I think the key thing is it doesn't really matter whether the people of Mumsnet would go out not, it matters what your families think about the idea. We might all say no, but they'd be well up for it, or vice versa.

Could you not have it sooner than November?

Make sure you’ve got insurance/can afford cancelling last minute. It’ll cost a lot and who knows what the restrictions will be then.

If it was now I'd go despite being ECV. Vaccination was our way out of this. We will be struggling this winter. The NHS is gearing up for a bad winter. So just be prepared to not have quite what you'd like.

"As others have said no no one knows what November may bring."
But it's been predicted by those in the know just like last winter was.

We're unable to have it sooner as myself and my partner won't receive our second vaccine until mid September so we wanted to wait till we're double jabbed.

We tried for October but my partner works every third weekend and they're basically impossible to get out of as no one will ever swap with you because they're so bad apparently.

Also October is still full of weddings so when we could get the church we couldn't get the venue and vice versa. So then it moved to November and it's right at the start, just after his birthday which I thought was nice.

I'm still torn between it but we haven't done anything even since lockdown lifted, we don't go anywhere unmasked, we haven't ate out. We keep saying we will go for food and then I let my nerves get the better of me and cancel. My partner asked me when am I going to try and have life back to some kind of normality. He thinks I'll just keep postponing it and it'll never happen.

I know there's so many things to take into consideration, I'm not actually on any social media so I think I'll ask my parents to reach out to their siblings and get a feel for how people would be about attending.

I'd definitely reach out to gauge how many people feel comfortable about attending.

Personally I'd feel OK about attending a big party now, but less so about organising one myself. You'd have to cover your backs with a potential Plan B, make sure you can absorb the costs of potential cancellation/downscaling, and just be prepared for circumstances to change. If you feel it's worth the risk, go for it.

I’m hosting a party for about 45 people at home for my 50th on October. No hassle if it needs to be cancelled. I’m usually a “i’ll just go for a nice dinner” type but this year thought screw it, let’s party

I think winter could be a hard time virus wise and those that need boosters won’t all be done by November I would imagine so may worry about their protection.
I may risk attending the church where I could SD if the couple were religious so we’re having a christening for their beliefs rather than the event but would avoid a large party.

I’m in a similar position OP. I wanted to christen my daughter last Summer but had to cancel during lockdown. The main thing stopping me atm is that I am unsure what rules the churches will be following later this year. They have been very cautious near me and still require masks, social distancing etc. I’m hoping they will relax soon, otherwise it will make the ceremony a very clinical experience for me and my guests.

@snowy0wl that's what I'm worried about too. I'm not too bothered about wearing masks during the church and to be honest it wouldn't be hard for me to cut down guests at the actual church but it's the after party where all my family think they should be invited too.

My partner did say that if restrictions come back into place that's the excuse we can use for cutting guests down. I honestly didn't even think about the possibility of losing money over having to cancel. I just assumed that the money would be held to rearrange the date but maybe that's not the case?

I know I'm not the only one and this is just me feeling sorry for myself but I haven't been able to celebrate anything to do with my pregnancy or birth. I was already pregnant before lockdown, couldn't announce it how we wanted to. Partner couldn't attend any appointments, had to labour till 4cm alone. Couldn't have my eldest come to hospital to visit us which was really important for me as there's a 10 year age gap and I was soo worried about him feeling left out as he's had me to himself for so long. We've got engaged and haven't been able to celebrate with any family. None of my extended family have even met my baby. I need something before this really fucks me up. I'm just rambling on now and I know I'm not the only one to of experienced all of this but it's really starting to take its toll on me now

OP - I’m so sorry to hear that. I completely understand how you are feeling and it is perfectly normal to feel upset, having missed out on marking so many important milestones in your life. In your situation I would probably go ahead and book it, with the view that you may need to replan/alter nearer the time, because it sounds like you need something to focus on and look forward to.

YANBU to go ahead but try and work out what you would do in different situations.

I don't know what venue you are going for, but as it is used by weddings I am assuming it is more costly - as an alternative could you hold it in a village hall / social club where costs will be lower so you are loosing less if you cancel?

If it can go ahead with limited numbers would you do that? Or would you postpone?

I suppose what I am getting at is that it sounds lovely, but make sure you have plan B, C and probably D in mind too in case things change.

I totally get your desire to want to meet up. It has been awful for anyone who has had a baby anytime in the last 18 months .
It is just balancing whether you would be better to plan to have - say - just parents and siblings, or whatever works out to be a small number, with the option (as others have suggested, in a village hall or social club) where they will agree to you making it a much bigger affair a fortnight in advance or something. Seems to have less possibility of disappointment than planning a bash for 120 and maybe having to cut it right down, as so many poor couples getting married ended up doing.