Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To remind you that real choking is silent

67 replies

54321nought · 05/08/2021 18:35

A child choked in front of me on the train last week. The parents were chatting together over her head. I pointed out she was choking and the father banged her on the back and she coughed up the food. They hadn't noticed. She was about 3 or 4. They probably thought they didn't have to watch her eat any more. So I am just reminding you that real choking is completely silent

OP posts:
BananaMilkshakeWithCream · 05/08/2021 21:06

So true. When I worked in an office years ago, a guy was choking on a sandwich. The only way he managed to alert the person next to him was by banging on the desk 😬

GrrRightBackAtYou · 05/08/2021 21:09

My friend, busy chatting away, thankfully noticed and jumped up and walloped me.
She said I was totally silent but had absolute terror on my face so she knew it was serious.
Terrifying.

TheFairyCaravan · 05/08/2021 21:17

I choked on a piece of chicken in a restaurant in Menorca a couple of years ago. I tried to have a drink Incase it would move but that just came out of my nose.

DH was sitting opposite me but had his head down, looking at his plate so I couldn't alert him. That was so scary. I chucked my chair back so I could stand up, I was going to run for the toilet, so he looked up and saw me choking. He started slapping my back but it wouldn’t move, the owner of the restaurant came running over saying “the stomach, the stomach…” DH did the heimlich manoeuvre which, thankfully, dislodged it and half my dinner all over the restaurant floor. I was so, so embarrassed after.

For a long time after I was really anxious when I was eating at home on my own. I’ve started cutting up grapes again and it’s only me that eats them.

Sillawithans · 05/08/2021 21:18

I once choked on a huge chunk of meat. It got stuck, I very calmly got a drink, didn't budge. I then walked over to my partner to get his attention. I never made a sound!

Snowjive2 · 05/08/2021 21:23

@Tanith

I’d like to add that if someone appears to be choking, but not silent (e.g. able to talk), it may be an allergic reaction and also an emergency.

My DS once had an anaphylactic shock reaction and I thought he was choking because he was coughing hard and complained of something stuck in his throat. It was actually his airway swelling up.
Had he been choking, he wouldn’t have been able to speak.

This is a really important point. Please ignore the “Loud and red let them go ahead” - anaphylaxis is ALWAYS a 999 emergency because it’s fatal if not treated.
CantChatNow · 05/08/2021 21:43

Going to reiterate “have to hit them harder than you think” as I had to thump my young daughter much harder than several onlookers thought was reasonable to dislodge some apple when she was choking - they obviously were bewildered as she was choking silently then I just started whacking her. Got it dislodged enough that she could draw breath then she vomited and the forceful motion in her throat must have got it the rest of the way out. Utterly horrific and very not much helped by useless onlookers.

Toddlerteaplease · 05/08/2021 21:48

Anyone who has abdominal thrusts should also go to hospital to be checked out.

Ozanj · 05/08/2021 21:52

Yes. DS choked on soft fruit pieces when we first started weaning. Luckily we were prepared and followed the moves we were taught so it was dislodged. But it’s important to remember that if kids are coughing around food you can often cause blockages by interfering.

Summerfun54321 · 05/08/2021 22:07

I honestly think all parents should do first aid courses. I do them once every couple of years because I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t know how to save my child if they choked or were in any other life threatening situation that I could have saved them from.

TableFlowerss · 05/08/2021 22:19

NRFT as it would make me cry reading all of your examples. I’ve got a teenager and a 9 year old and I won’t leave the room until DC have finished eating. I won’t let the youngest eat when I’m in the shower etc incase they choke and I’m not there checking.

They think I’m OTT but I love them so much and these things happen. I still cut up grades and cherry tomatoes in to 4 😀

TableFlowerss · 05/08/2021 22:20

grapes

Leftbutcameback · 05/08/2021 22:20

I remember practicing the back hits in my first aid course - it hurt my hand because you have to do it that hard. My instructor said it was the first aid skill she had used most in real life, and all but once the food was cleared by the back slaps before needing to move to the thrusts. I once partially choked on a malteser and I ran away to the loo, I wasn't with anyone I knew and I was so embarrassed.

ICantFindTheBuffet · 05/08/2021 22:26

I'm feeling terror just reading this thread. This absolutely terrifies me. I still have to remind my 5 year old to chew up properly as she always seems to try to swallow too much/before fully chewing. I've had a few moments I've choked on a drink which makes it hard to breathe which is scary enough. The thought of proper choking and being unable to dislodge something just makes me so scared Sad

Jent13c · 05/08/2021 22:27

I have seen someone die on a chip. There were multiple comorbitdities and she was very very poorly anyway but incredibly distressing for staff and her poor husband who was in visiting.

Please please please think about positioning when your kids are eating, look at the high chair they are in..does it encourage a good upright position? Don't let them slouch on the couch eating popcorn. I see toddlers walking about with snacks all the time and it makes me paranoid, please make all eating up at the table and supervised until much older. The car seat is probably the worst place for a snack, they are not fully upright, restricted and you wouldn't have a clue if they were struggling.

EekGoesTheBaby · 05/08/2021 22:38

Good reminder, especially with "older" young kids.

Babyroobs · 05/08/2021 22:42

@Dunkling

So true.

Also, I remember the trainer in a resuscitation class we took yearly as staff at our hospital (non clinical) , that if someone disappears hastily from a table etc while appearing agitated, to check on them as it is very common in adults to feel embarrassment while also in panic mode.

I have always drummed this into my family to follow someone if they start choking. Then a few weeks ago at a BBQ at my home it happened to me. My instinct was to run inside to the downstairs toilet, I just couldn't get any air in. it was so frightening. I did manage to forcibly cough and clear it eventually . I must have used every muscle possible as i ached for about a week afterwards when breathing in. Fortunately Dh did follow me as i have drilled into him !!
Babyroobs · 05/08/2021 22:46

Another tip I was told at a CPR class was that if you are alone and you start to choke you can repeatedly bash your back against a wall to try to clear the obstruction. Hopefully clears things before you lose consciousness.

impossible · 05/08/2021 22:47

This is a great reminder. Also note to ourselves - if you're choking don't hide away out of embarrassment (eg toilet in restaurant). There will be no-one to help you if you get into serious difficulty and choking happens quickly.

XenoBitch · 05/08/2021 22:52

I choked once. Gulped down my food and it got stuck. Could not breath in at all! Was utterly terrifying. I was alone in my flat so no one to alert or help. Ended up punching myself in the chest and dislodged the food. I was so close to passing out. Would have been curtains for me if I had.

hellywelly3 · 05/08/2021 22:52

I choked on a chip I nicked off my kids plate whist clearing the table. I grabbed a drink to try and wash it down, big mistake! It completely sealed my airway. It was the scariest time of my life. The kids had gone outside so I couldn’t get anyone’s attention. After about a minute my body started doing like a retching movement bit like what cats do before they bring up a fur ball. After about another 30 seconds I vomited and dislodged the blockage. I’ve never felt relief like it. For about 2 weeks my stomach muscles and ribs were agony. I’ll never nick a left over chip again!

Hellocatshome · 05/08/2021 22:59

I agree it is good to know this not only so you know what real choking looks like but also so you can stay calm if someone is choking but making noise. As long as they can make noises some air is getting in. Obviously you still need to react and clear the airway but it always helps me stay calmer.

justasking111 · 05/08/2021 23:00

Having tea at a friend's house she suddenly ran to the sink silently bending over thought she was sick for a minute then realised. Went straight into Heimlich maneuver which I had been taught once. It worked we were both shaken up. I cut up grapes tomatoes . Choked on steak once and a pineapple cube both horrible experiences

FadedRed · 05/08/2021 23:01

There are two British Red Cross first aid apps that can be downloaded for free from the App Store (iPad or Android) one for adults and one for babies& children. Easy to use, with diagrams and video. Please tell everyone you know to download them, they will work without WiFi once downloaded.

LouLou198 · 05/08/2021 23:03

Well done OP, and yes a helpful reminder. I am fortunate to be able to access yearly CPR training through my work which includes how to deal with choking. The lady who does the training is great and always lets anyone who wants to practice how to deal with a choking child/baby on a mannequin. She once told us a tragic story of a 40 yr old man that sadly died because he was alone and choked on a banana. I won't let dc eat alone, if I have to nip out the room they know to supervise each other (they are 10 & 6). I still cut up grapes and anything else that of a similar size. Children sucking lollipops make feel so uneasy, especially when you see them running around! Any that enter our house from party bags etc go straight in the bin.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 05/08/2021 23:05

This can never be said enough.

I wish people wouldn't call food going down the wrong way 'choking' either it just perpetuates stereotypes that choking is loud and gaggy