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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The Visit

11 replies

paperpusher · 05/08/2021 14:52

My MIL, SIL and niece are due to visit next week for 6 days. The last visit was incredibly stressful as DH and SIL fell out, words were exchanged and it left me feeling stressed and counting the days down until they left. SIL has not been well recently and is coming to stay due to depression. MIL recently visited for 10 days and said that SIL needed a break. I voiced that I didn't feel the visit would be a good idea due to the last visit and the stress and angst it caused. MIL disregarded this and went ahead and booked train tickets to come up to visit. I am concerned that it is going to be another stressful visit and I am dreading it.

On MIL's last stay, DH changes and becomes really bossy. I think it's in response to MIL's bossiness. MIL whips things up, I get upset and it is generally a miserable time. I am not very good at hiding my feelings and MIL gets annoyed and tells me to stop pulling faces.

We have now discovered that MIL, SIL and niece have Covid. MIL and SIL are still not well and I suggested that it might be better if they changed their travel days. This has gone down poorly and I have been accused by both as using Covid as an excuse for not wanting them to visit. I have told DH that I do not want them here unless they can prove they have negative tests. I am concerned that they will be carrying the virus and DH, myself of our 2 children will test positive and what is a 7 day stay, becomes a 17 day stay.

AIBU to insist they change their plans?

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 05/08/2021 15:08

Yanbu

But I’d have told them not to come in no uncertain terms anyway.

paperpusher · 05/08/2021 15:11

I did say not to come, but MIL went ahead regardless!

OP posts:
Lou573 · 05/08/2021 15:12

When are they due to finish their isolation OP?

AryaStarkWolf · 05/08/2021 15:13

Them planning to go travelling on public transport and visiting people is absolutely outrageous if they have Covid, there's not a chance in hell they'd be getting through my front door. the cheek of it

MoonlightFancy · 05/08/2021 15:13

Get DH to move MIL right along, or if he won’t he and MIL can go stay somewhere else. No way should she bring COVID into your home! YANBU.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 05/08/2021 15:14

What does yourDh say? Seeing as he was the one who got so stressed last time

underneaththeash · 05/08/2021 15:15

When does their isolation end OP?

Goldbar · 05/08/2021 15:15

In your shoes, I think I'd be visiting my own family or booking a local Airbnb for myself and the two children if my DH didn't put a stop to the visit. I'm pretty relaxed about Covid but this is absolutely unacceptable.

Disfordarkchocolate · 05/08/2021 15:18

Just because thy booked it didn't mean you had to say yes.

They should like awful bullies. Be strong.

paperpusher · 05/08/2021 15:24

The isolation period ends Tuesday next week, due to travel on the Thursday.

OP posts:
LookItsMeAgain · 05/08/2021 15:35

Contact them one more time.
Have the details of a local Holiday Inn or Premier Inn handy and tell them that this is where they will be staying.
They are not welcome in your home following the last visit.
That is the message that they have to hear.
It has to come from your DH though.

"Mum, you can't stay with us this time. The Premier Inn has availability and you can stay there if you are still set on coming to our town/village/city next Thursday. We cannot have you to stay. If you show up at our door we don't have the space for you to stay so this is the only suitable option"

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