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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want to make up the time?

44 replies

Candydreamer · 05/08/2021 11:17

hello,

I am 24 weeks pregnant and have my 6 month check up tomorrow morning plus a hospital appointment afterwards as I had some test results come back that need investigating. I am not 100 percent sure how long all this will take but have made provisions for my own work to be handled (I am doing it this evening instead).

another colleague has just emailed and copied my manager in asking me to cover a significant portion of their work tomorrow as they are now going to be on annual leave. we finish at 1pm on a Friday (office job, currently working from home) so even less time on a friday to get things done.

I emailed my manager and said I wont be able to do this due to my medical appointments and having to alresdy make provisions for my own work to ensure it is done and I simply dont think I will have the time and he has replied saying I will just have to work the afternoon instead as I am having the morning off??

feels unfair to me as from what I know you're not expected to make the time up for medical appointments relating to pregnancy, I am working extra this evening as it is to cover my own work!

would I be unreasonable in saying no?

OP posts:

timeisnotaline · 05/08/2021 13:41

Push back op. You could say I’m already covering my own work unpaid which I don’t have to do- pregnancy medical appts are not optional so if I’m doing that she can cover her leave, why haven't you asked someone to cover my work the way you’re pressuring me to cover hers?

QueenBee52 · 05/08/2021 13:46

Stop him putting this ON you..

this is His responsibility not yours 🌸

Skyeheather · 05/08/2021 13:47

Does your Company have an HR Department? If so, find out who deals with maternity and refer this to them. A quick phone call from them to your Boss might make him understand this better. It's your colleague that needs to arrange cover with someone else not you.

Original poster

Candydreamer · 05/08/2021 13:51

I have replied to him saying someone else will need to cover. This medical appointment has been in place for about 8 weeks now (it was booked at my 16 week one) and he has known about the follow up for at least a week. I can't find childcare at such short notice and do not see why it is okay to ask me to work this time, rather than asking the person he has agreed annual leave with.

OP posts:

Brefugee · 05/08/2021 13:57

Just keep saying "no" and please don't use the word sorry or be apologetic.

Your colleague is off for one day or a couple of weeks? If it's a day and they already knew you wouldn't be in, it is a problem entirely of their own making

Buccanarab · 05/08/2021 14:00

Tbh I think your manager is being quite reasonable. He has allowed you the time off tomorrow morning to attend medical appointments.

He isn't "allowing" the time off, OP has the right to take the time off for these appointments and he can't make op work additional hours to make up.

Clearly the work still needs to be covered despite your absence- so I don’t think expecting you to work the afternoon instead is unreasonable.

It's not the OPs work that needs done. The OP has made provisions to manage her own workload effectively.

I would not be impressed at all if one of my employees refused to complete work that has built up due to absence. All staff at my place are expected to be team players.

See point above, the work has built up because OPs colleague has been approved leave without anyone checking there was someone to cover.

Original poster

Candydreamer · 05/08/2021 14:02

@Brefugee They are off just for tomorrow. I was only asked to cover them tomorrow, today so very short notice too.

OP posts:

Original poster

Candydreamer · 05/08/2021 14:03

@Buccanarab Thank you, that's exactly it. It worries me that there are those attitudes, I do get the feeling I am a huge inconvenience, just doesn't feel very nice.

OP posts:

QueenBee52 · 05/08/2021 14:25

[quote Candydreamer]@Buccanarab Thank you, that's exactly it. It worries me that there are those attitudes, I do get the feeling I am a huge inconvenience, just doesn't feel very nice.[/quote]

they shouldn't be making you feel like this.. 🙁

that's so bad.. 🌸

Brefugee · 05/08/2021 14:27

Yeah - Manager is unreasonable - just keep pushing back.

To pp who said about not being a team player: it's not OP who isnvt playing. She's covering her own work and has pointed out her limits. The manager needs to check requests for absence more carefully

CoffeeBeansGalore · 05/08/2021 14:37

Can you ask HR to email your manager the maternity policy as he obviously hasn't a clue.

Original poster

Candydreamer · 05/08/2021 14:40

I feel a bit vindicated here by the other colleague. They have said they will do the cover but made it clear they are not happy that we keep getting asked so last minute, that it is not appropriate to expect others to work an afternoon we are shut to facilitate others annual leave as that isn't our job and we don't get paid enough lol and that they now will feel no guilt in also booking annual leave last minute rather than being considerate and getting in a few weeks early so everyone knows.

This is part of the problem with out manager, he doesn't get things sorted at all and because I feel guilty easily I always usually end up just saying yes but this time I feel quite trongly about it because I just don't need the stress on a day when I have a hospital appointment too for follow up about test results.

OP posts:

BetsyBigNose · 05/08/2021 15:09

Well done for standing your ground OP!

I hope your appointments go smoothly and your test results are as you hope - good luck!

QueenBee52 · 05/08/2021 15:19

Good in you and your colleague 🌸

daisyjgrey · 05/08/2021 15:28

@GreenLakes "Allowing" doesn't come into it. She just has to notify them she has a medical appointment relating to pregnancy and that's it, he can not allow it until he's blue in the face, won't make an iota of difference.

Wheresmrpenguin · 05/08/2021 15:44

This has made me so angry. I had a few issues going back and forth with HR with my (female with kids) boss and being difficult during my pregnancy. It's not a case of being 'allowed' it's entitlement...without argument. I'd keep a copy of any emails or whatever it is for future incase it happens again, and make a firm 'no' next time. Some people just shouldn't be in management.

Original poster

Candydreamer · 05/08/2021 15:53

yeah, he tried to guilt trip me about not working the afternoon by saying he didnt want this colleague to cancel their leave and feel upset but I was thinking but you want me to feel worried when I have an actual medical appointment I need to go to and to work an afternoon to facilitate for said colleague..

OP posts:

QueenBee52 · 05/08/2021 15:58

@Candydreamer

His management skills are pretty shoddy 🌸

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 05/08/2021 16:27

@GreenLakes

Tbh I think your manager is being quite reasonable. He has allowed you the time off tomorrow morning to attend medical appointments.

Clearly the work still needs to be covered despite your absence- so I don’t think expecting you to work the afternoon instead is unreasonable.

I would not be impressed at all if one of my employees refused to complete work that has built up due to absence. All staff at my place are expected to be team players.

I'd be less impressed at one of my managers breaching the laws regarding expectant mothers and their rights to paid time for antenatal medical care, personally.

All staff at my place are expected to keep within the law.

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