Mid life crisis coming early, perhaps! I’m mid 30s, childfree, likely to remain so, I am happy this way.
My social circle has changed because all my friends are now married with children and living a very different life to me. I feel disconnected and covid has only increased this feeling. My friends are still my friends and they are dear to me, but I don’t feel like I am sharing the same world with them any more.
I live in a large-ish rural town. There is plenty going on (usually family oriented events) and while there are opportunities to meet new people, I have yet to find a kindred spirit. Somebody else unattached, who would like to go for a drink on a weekday evening, talk about things other than children, go for an adventurous weekend away.
I absolutely love my job, but it is niche and there is no chance of career progression in the next 10 years unless I relocate.
I dream, sometimes, about moving to a city, where (in my imagination) I will join hobby groups of all description, meeting lots of other single childfree 30-something, 40-something men and women, my career will progress, and my life will be more fulfilling. The thought of the adventure and excitement of this is appealing! I just feel a bit stifled and stale where I am, but maybe covid is partly to blame?
But the ‘Wise’ (boring?) voice in my head says:
- A city where I don’t know anyone or have any connections is likely to be lonelier than a town where I know lots of people and have put down roots. I am likely to feel less connected, not more so. There may be more single people but doesn’t mean I will like them or they will want to be friends!
- Making friends that last is harder at my age then when younger. Most people my age already have their established groups of friends, and I should stick with mine. My current friends will pass through the ‘young child’ stage in a few years.
- I live in the beautiful countryside and I would miss it terribly in a city.
- I love my current job, and I am paid enough. Career progression is more stress in exchange for money. It isn’t a measure of success if it doesn’t make me happier, and I think what would make me happier would be more social connections, not more work.
- If I leave my current job, I may never be able to come back, as there are limited opportunities and low turnover in my area.
- I am 80% happy, that should be enough for anyone! Live isn’t all roses after all.
This is longer than I means it to be, I am mostly listening to the sensible voice telling me to be grateful for what I’ve got and not risk throwing the baby out with the bath water. But what would you do / advise in my situation?