To go off sick?

[greenbluewho]

I'm an adults social worker and as I've been lying awake most of the night worrying about my cases and trying not to cry I realise I just can't do it anymore.

Not right now at least.

It's hell at the moment. Crazy busy. Complex cases. No care around because of pinging and Brexit or whatever other reasons.

My brain won't switch off. I just can't.

I could go sick - but I'm one of those who never has sick, last time was a few years ago when my appendix ruptured so I had no choice,

I think if I do this now feeling like this I won't be going back ever. My team is already struggling with sickness and short staffed due to being unable to recruit. I'd drop them in it with my 25 or so cases from hell.

Part of the reason I'm feeling like this is because I've had other peoples' awful cases dropped on me when they've gone off.

I really need some time but I don't want to drop them in it. Crying just typing this.

AIBU to just call in sick and let my manager worry about it? He's not done my supervision for 3 months anyway so maybe if he had I'd be in a better place.

Honestly,don’t keep doing what you are doing.

Take it from someone who has been in a very similar position.
I just stopped held my hands up and did what I needed to do.
It worked. I’m back and kicking ass.

It’s probably been about 10 years since I had a day off sick. I don’t do sick.
I had no choice with this though. It was like my appendix burst in my mind.

I made the call!! Actual manager predictably offline so spoke to his manager instead.
Thanks everyone. Will have to see how it goes with my five days grace.
Feels so weird.

Please rest properly and think about moving jobs.
My DM is a nurse and I've watched her wear herself out and drop to underweight with the stress of her job.
She feels like you about the people in her care but the poor management and support from leadership are so bad for her.
She won't listen to me about leaving so I'm really hoping you will.
You can't save the world, but you can save yourself
If it helps assuage your guilt think of all the people you have helped over the course of your career, multitudes more than most I'd say.

Glad you have made the decision. Please look after yourself and take more time than you think you need if you can

Sign yourself off with stress for the week and if necessary get a sick note from the gp for a month.

You’ve reached breaking point. Crying and not sleeping due to work is not normal

Also look at a change of direction. I met a social worker recently who had moved on and become a DOLs assessor and she said the stress levels were far more manageable

So much bad advice with people saying go off sick. How does that help? It doesn’t fix the root cause, being that you need to prioritise and do what you can do, push back on the rest. That takes practise, and you can only practise if you are working.

Well done op. Please make sure, if you don’t feel up to it after the 5 days grace, then don’t go back. Extend your sick leave until you either feel better or decide to leave. Good luck 💐💐

@sst1234

So much bad advice with people saying go off sick. How does that help? It doesn’t fix the root cause, being that you need to prioritise and do what you can do, push back on the rest. That takes practise, and you can only practise if you are working.

It gives the manager a chance to realize what is happening and actually manage ; it gives the employee a breathing space to actually think about her own health;it gives her time to ask for help to be a useful employee. It's fine to say 'prioritize' but if everything is a priority what to do first? I've been in that situation and believe me there were nights when I would think' it would be great to go to sleep and not wake up'.

@sst1234

So much bad advice with people saying go off sick. How does that help? It doesn’t fix the root cause, being that you need to prioritise and do what you can do, push back on the rest. That takes practise, and you can only practise if you are working.

It’s not bad advice imo. The op needs to rest, her health and mental health is at stake. Work now the state that they are in, if the place is short staffed and staff are taking on extra work.

I would try to make a GP appointment sooner rather than later so that you can start to formulate a plan. Ask for at least a month off, this also means work will need to cover the cases rather than pile them up for you to return. First week or two do virtually nothing, other than your normal exercise, essential daily chores. Then holiday, doesn't have to be away can be staycation but doing physically active things- walking, sightseeing, hire canoe etc. Then start to think about the future, whilst still doing the exercise. Work out finances, do you need to earn as much, could you work part time switch to a different aspect of the same type of job, could you teach in your field. Can you afford to retrain. Do you have a hobby you can pursue?

I have a job which has massive peaks and flows and the downtime after this year's peak has taken a while to decompress from. Don't rush the initial downtime, but at the same time do try to do some sort of gentle exercise every day so you don't just sit on the sofa all day.

Remember; the willing horse carries the heavy load. If you carry on being willing, nothing will change.

@greenbluewho

Yes at the rate team members are dropping there will be no one left soon ☹️

As long as you keep picking up the slack, your mangers’ Hand’s won’t be forced to address the issues. Look after yourself, go off sick. Bring the unsustainable staff levels to the fore.

Do not go back too quickly- I’ve made this mistake before and my boss didn’t even acknowledge I’d been off sick despite me being very honest with everyone about what it was about. Similar to you, work in healthcare was being left as a very junior dr, to manage a huge ward and an outlier ward of complex unwell patients, also expected to train new junior even though I could barely do the job myself, and managing deaths of 2 close relatives days apart from each other.

Just seen that you’ve made the call
@greenbluewho. Well done, that’s the hardest move. Look after yourself, always. It took me a very long time to realise that (i’m not even in social services).

So much bad advice with people saying go off sick. How does that help? It doesn’t fix the root cause, being that you need to prioritise and do what you can do, push back on the rest. That takes practise, and you can only practise if you are working.

There comes a point when you’re so overwhelmed you can’t put good work practices in place - you need time to recover from the physical, emotional and psychological stress you’re under. Burnout and vicarious trauma are huge issues for social workers, and don’t get better by pushing on through - and the risk of making a wrong decision when you’re in that state of mind is high and carries potentially tragic consequences. It’s like running on a broken leg - better practices will help when it’s time to return, but you need to heal properly first.

Social work is one of those jobs where “pushing back on the rest” means someone won’t get the care or support they need, and given thresholds for any kind of social work intervention are so high just now, not providing a service means people’s lives are put at risk. The very best advice the OP could get is to stop for a while.

Thanks everyone.
Spent the day binging K-dramas and feel good.

Excellent, keep up the good work of resting and healing

I had a very similar situation.
Take time out but do not feel guilty.
Rest.
Then use some of the time to work out, perhaps with occ health , how you will return and also what proactive safeguards and agreements you will have in place as in a ' contract' that you will.return with.. with clear observable measures that are in place.
Such as
A review a week and month after return .
Agreed supervision dates. In the gentlest way , as a professional.it is your responsibitly to ensure that you get supervision as well.as your supervisors ( and yes, as an ex sw of 30 years experience, i do kmow what it is like pinning down a busy manager , or one that does not make access to.supervision easy !).
Occ health can draw up such agreements and they give measurable goals. Then if manager did not meet the agreed goals and you ever needed to.go.off sick.again you.could clearly evidence that you had tried but agreed safeguards not.met.
I was off sick with stress and this really helped. Its not always perfect but we can but try!
All.the very best.i kmow what it is like to be aware of cases being left.. but my dh ,who.was a senior manager, said to me.no.one is undespensible... it really helped me to give myself.permission to.re group which it seems you wd so benefit from.too
All.the best.

Poor you

My heart breaks reading this

Put yourself first for some time !!!
My goodness how will you keep going?! Xxxxxxx

So pleased that you’ve made the decision and can now concentrate on getting better. Remember the oxygen mask analogy - when on a plane in an emergency and the oxygen masks drop, they tell you to put yours on first before you help others. You need to help yourself before you help others. Take care.

Everyone has a breaking point. Sounds like this is yours. Take the time you need for you. I need to take that advice myself and don’t so I understand how hard it is.

You simply cannot pour from an empty cup.

You must look after yourself, just as your colleagues should too if they're feeling run down to the ground.

If you truly want to help, you'll get yourself in a better order and that might mean taking time off.

Fab news @greenbluewho. What are your plans for today? Scandi-noir police dramas?

To add to @Tiddleandplonk’s excellent advice regarding your ultimate return to work, which is still obviously a long way off, but ime (as an employee and a manager, although not social services), a phased return can really help.

Glad you decided to take care of yourself - enjoy the healing time x

Hopefully the increasing levels of sickness absence and staff leaving will shine a spotlight on your managers poor management skills and your lack of support

When you feel up to it is your union any good? Might be worth getting them on board - over case loading and poor supervision is serious