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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

How old for PS4 games such as Grand Theft Auto/Call of Duty?

72 replies

BearAusten · 04/08/2021 19:11

I have a tendency to be over protective and I no longer trust my own judgement. I know my 11 year old son’s friends are playing Grand Theft Auto and Call of Duty. I looked at C of D and hated it. Thought it was awful. But friends and peers have all stopped playing things like Fortnite and Minecraft. Am I causing problems for him?

OP posts:

DoTheNextRightThing · 04/08/2021 20:33

@Fruityb

And I’m sat here playing The Last of Us 2 and have blown someone up, thrown a Molotov and killed a dog. 18 for a reason! I have played GTA but they don’t really interest me that much anymore. There are better - Uncharted, Tomb Raider, the Lego games, the Spiderman games…

I’ve been a gamer since I was very young - was allowed to watch anything when I was a kid. Wouldn’t recommend it as I am still scared of Chucky… hence my son won’t be.

Omg the bits where you have to kill the dogs were the worst. Humans? Fine. Dogs - especially the one at the aquarium? NOPE.

HarryHedgehog · 04/08/2021 20:33

My DS is 7 and I know that at least 2 boys in his class are playing CoD. Mind boggles. YANBU and I wouldn’t be happy with my son playing them.

Fruityb · 04/08/2021 20:35

Alice… dogs are a new low!

I’m less nervous on second play through. It was terrifying first time!! But again - this is not a game for kids and nor is it one I would allow my son to see ever. He loves Lego Jurassic World which we have played together.

DewDew83 · 04/08/2021 20:35

I played GTA from about age 8. I turned out fine
I played it from a young age too, but back then it was top-down 2D sprites and a red splat on the pavement was as graphic as it got.

The early 3D ones were also fairly cartoony.

Now, you can get a lap dance from a hyper-realistic stripper. Sections of it are basically soft core porn.

Mockolate · 04/08/2021 20:37

And no, I don't give a shit if "everyone else is playing them but me."

Porcupineintherough · 04/08/2021 20:38

As soon as they are old enough to live independently. Not under my roof.

Killahangilion · 04/08/2021 20:44

DS is 12.
We don’t have Fortnight or anything remotely violent.
If the friends parents let them play such games, that’s their call.
The problem is often the 12 year olds with older siblings and therefore, they have access to this stuff more easily.

Luckily, at the moment DS is more interested in coding and learning programming languages so he’s not bothered about playing those games anyway.

KaptainKaveman · 04/08/2021 20:45

Genuine question: do any of you think 'games' like this contribute to rape culture and misogyny?

Purplespup16 · 04/08/2021 20:50

@BearAusten Halo is an Xbox game and not available on any PlayStation Console

WeDidntMeanToGoToSea · 04/08/2021 20:51

Mine are 16 and nearly 14 and they know GTA is 'never under our roof' and CoD is 'when you're 18'. We very very reluctantly allowed Fortnite four or five months ago for the 13yo. It hasn't impacted his behaviour as far as we can see, and while he's keen, he's not as addicted as some of the stories you hear. I think it might have been a different story if he'd started any younger.

Shellfishblastard · 04/08/2021 20:52

As a general rule we follow the advisory ages because they have been thought out by someone else already and are there for a reason

Clymene · 04/08/2021 20:54

@KaptainKaveman

Genuine question: do any of you think 'games' like this contribute to rape culture and misogyny?

Yes I do. And I also think they contribute to young people being dissatisfied with their birth sex. Loads of kids choose avatars if the other sex and being able to switch back and forth at a time when brains are very plastic I think lays down neural pathways that are hard to shift.

And I think the same applies to extreme realistic violence and sexual abuse.

My older teens play Halo but I wouldn't have let them play at 11.

VienneseWhirligig · 04/08/2021 20:54

CoD was permitted at about 13, when DS joined army cadets. Our reasoning was, if he was going to be handling real life submachine guns, he may as well be allowed to use electronic ones at targets. GTA was banned because of the themes - when he hit 18 I said I didn't mind him having it but he didn't want it by then. He has always preferred FIFA though.

Fruityb · 04/08/2021 20:54

I don’t think it does @KaptainKaveman but that’s just my experience. I have three brothers and have always been a gamer and I wouldn’t say it’s had any effect at all. They’ve watched violent movies and played violent games but don’t show any of the negatives at all. Actually my brothers love strong female characters - and my twin spends his time doing diamond pictures and cross stitch. But they’re also intelligent and able to differentiate between fact and fiction. I personally think sports often have more impact on that than video games.

Obviously just my experience. My husband plays all those games and is one of the most gentlemanly and polite men I know!

UrAWizHarry · 04/08/2021 21:00

@KaptainKaveman

Genuine question: do any of you think 'games' like this contribute to rape culture and misogyny?

Nope.

Shellfishblastard · 04/08/2021 21:04

@KaptainKaveman

Genuine question: do any of you think 'games' like this contribute to rape culture and misogyny?

I think gaming, along with porn, can contribute to kids “getting it wrong” - If a child or young person is playing a game with adult content or watching porn they can’t process it or make sense of it in the same way as most adults can. Their brains aren’t there yet developmentally.

Not exactly answering your question but I think we need to think of the bigger impact on them emotionally and developmentally.

I want my kids to be kids. I don’t want them playing games where they can rape someone or pay for a stripper. What message is this sending them? Potentially it’s sending them a message that this is ok, this is how adults behave.

The only time we have allowed my kids to play an older game is if I’ve risk assessed it and felt that they were able to cope with it. A good example would be a maths game for dd1 - it had an advisory age older than her but I knew it was appropriate.

TheSkatesOfCoachBombay · 04/08/2021 21:07

I bought me and DS this retro gaming console that you just plug in to the TV. We've had hours of fun playing pacman and the original mario. Also things like space invaders 😂 he then plays Minecraft on his game boy thing. I'm really trying to hold off on violent/graphic games till the very last minute!!

Nyala · 04/08/2021 21:10

@DewDew83

I played GTA from about age 8. I turned out fine I played it from a young age too, but back then it was top-down 2D sprites and a red splat on the pavement was as graphic as it got.

The early 3D ones were also fairly cartoony.

Now, you can get a lap dance from a hyper-realistic stripper. Sections of it are basically soft core porn.

Very good point. I played 1 & 2 and vice city, and a bit of San Andreas or whatever the 4th one was called. Never had a violent bone in my body, and still don't.

Reassuringly there are several studies that gaming at a young age doesn't cause violence in children. But, like you say, a lot of games are getting more and more realistic.

And I don't doubt that the sexual side of it is probably very disturbing now! I hadn't really accounted for how much more realistic the newer ones must be.

I think teenagers will be teenagers. There will always be parents that care less about what their kids are exposed to (like my parents didn't give a single damn, I watched age 18 movies at about age 8), so it's hard when kids are visiting other friends houses where their parents are more relaxed.

But I get why people think age 11 is too young. I think once they're a few years older, though, there is little you can do to prevent them laying these games is they really want to.

Disneycharacter · 04/08/2021 21:12

What do you base your parenting on? What other parents allow or what is right?

Pokkadots · 04/08/2021 21:17

GTA not till 18, not as strict with the rest

Shade17 · 04/08/2021 21:21

The GTA games are awesome but probably not until 15/16

Myothercarisalsoshit · 04/08/2021 21:28

I teach lower KS2 and i've lost count of the number of children in my class (so aged 7 - 9) who have told me that they play GTA and COD. It always leads to a report being made and a conversation with the parent. A few years ago, when Fortnite was really popular we could really tell who was playing it due to their behaviour and general attitude towards school. Lots of them became really obsessed, really quickly and everything that wasn't fast moving, multicoloured and entertaining became really boring for them. Things like reading, and maths and history ... they just didn't give a shit. And some of these children were actually quite high achievers. My son is in his 20's now and only interested in FIFA but if I had my time again I wouldn't let a games console through the door. It's like flicking a switch that can never be turned off again. The whinging, the making deals, the lack of interaction, the tears when it's withdrawn for whatever reason. We would never advocate giving children drugs or alcohol but we're giving them hugely addictive tech. It's insane.

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