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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at DH for this

28 replies

Titchy1993 · 04/08/2021 17:39

I'd asked DH weeks ago to book today off as there was an event on near us that we were going to take our 2 DC to. It was booking only (due to covid rules) so after he said he'd book it off I booked tickets for us all to go. So I reminded him a couple of times as it approached (he forgets things easily).
Yesterday morning I asked one last time if he had definitely got tomorrow off work to go. And he said why? And I said to take DC to event. He hadn't booked it off so I said can you please just ask today.
He wasn't allowed to take the time off on short notice but he then followed with excuses like he is busy at the moment at work, his forgetfulness is getting worse at the moment, he can't just book off the day before.
I'm quite upset, it was supposed to be nice afternoon as a family which we haven't had in a while.
I took the children myself but we had to leave early as it was a bit of a handful with the 2 of them.
AIBU to think he shouldn't be forgetting like this and is he just doing it not to spend time with us? Because that's how it's coming across.

OP posts:
Sundancerintherain · 04/08/2021 17:41

Does he forget things that are important to you often ?

Notimeforaname · 04/08/2021 17:42

Does he regularly forget things which are important to HIM? Or just you and the kids?

TooWicked · 04/08/2021 17:44

Does he often forget things related to stuff that he really wants to do? Does he forget to book meetings in his diary at work if his boss asks him to attend? Would he forget if it was an afternoon out with his friends?

I bet he doesn’t.

Soubriquet · 04/08/2021 17:45

@Notimeforaname

Does he regularly forget things which are important to HIM? Or just you and the kids?
That’s more likely

It isn’t important to him so he didn’t bother to remember

If you know you have something planned, you book it off the next day you’re at work. Not leave it till last minute

Original poster
Titchy1993 · 04/08/2021 17:45

@Notimeforaname @Sundancerintherain

I would say he just forgets in general. He forgets stuff for himself, we put everything on calender and I remind him if its important. But it can be stuff as mundane as can you pop the bins out whislt I put the kids to bed. He gets distracted. If you get what I mean?

OP posts:
badatcrochet1996 · 04/08/2021 17:49

But what examples can you think of where he's forgotten things that he likes/wants to do.

Original poster
Titchy1993 · 04/08/2021 17:50

He wrote it down on his holiday request form but forgot it, so he put it with his keys to take the next day. Took it, but don't know what happened then.
He also does forget things for himself too, sorry I should have said.
Is it usual to be this distracted and forgetful? I don't really know whether to believe him or not.

OP posts:
Thatsjustwhatithink · 04/08/2021 17:51

Sorry OP, you shouldn't have to parent your spouse. He's a grown man capable of using reminders, diaries and alarms.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 04/08/2021 17:51

His own birthday

A night out with his friends

Petrol in his car

Things he likes and actually wants to do or are purely for his benefit

Does he forget those too?

Sundancerintherain · 04/08/2021 17:52

In that case is it possible that he has dyspraxia ?

billy1966 · 04/08/2021 17:53

How tedious for you OP.

Sounds like you have 3 children🙄.

Start forgetting things that benefit him.

Original poster
Titchy1993 · 04/08/2021 17:54

@badatcrochet1996

He was going with his brother somewhere once and had forgot.
He'll forget his appointments.
He doesn't really have many friends, just a select few from when he was in school who he sees. But he forgets about that too.
He forget his work keys the other day

OP posts:
FuckingFlumps · 04/08/2021 17:54

[quote Titchy1993]**@Notimeforaname* @Sundancerintherain*

I would say he just forgets in general. He forgets stuff for himself, we put everything on calender and I remind him if its important. But it can be stuff as mundane as can you pop the bins out whislt I put the kids to bed. He gets distracted. If you get what I mean?[/quote]
To be honest that's still not an example 9f what those posters were referring to. Does he forget important stuff to him e.g. An event he wants to attend or a play he has booked to see?

Putting the bins out isn't important to him. If he's truly scatterbrained even with important stuff to him then he needs to seek professional help as that's not normal. If he's only like this with stuff that he sees no value in then you should probably ltb as he's showing you how little he values you all.

Original poster
Titchy1993 · 04/08/2021 17:54

@CuriousaboutSamphire

Yes things like that too

OP posts:
Sundancerintherain · 04/08/2021 17:55

Has he al6been this forgetful op or is it getting worse?

FuckingFlumps · 04/08/2021 17:57

[quote Titchy1993]@CuriousaboutSamphire

Yes things like that too[/quote]
Then he needs to investigate further and find out why he is so forgetful. Although even if there is a medical reason for his forgetfulness he should not be relying in you or others to remind him, he should by now have tried to implement ways to mitigate this happening so frequently.

TheAwfuITruth · 04/08/2021 17:59

[quote Titchy1993]@CuriousaboutSamphire

Yes things like that too[/quote]
So what is he doing about it?

TooWicked · 04/08/2021 17:59

He needs to go and get himself checked out by a medical professional then, because that’s not normal. If I were you I would insist on it and insist on accompanying him to the appointment.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 04/08/2021 18:13

Does he set reminders and alarms on his phone? I have sometimes forgotten appointments, but not since I started putting them on my phone.

Original poster
Titchy1993 · 04/08/2021 18:15

@Sundancerintherain

I have just looked that up and yes that sounds like him an awful lot! Thank you.
I will have a chat with him when he gets home. Even when I've spoke to his mum she kind of just says that's how he's always been.

OP posts:
Original poster
Titchy1993 · 04/08/2021 18:16

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius

Ye he does, but he'll turn it off. Then about an hr later forget.

OP posts:
Original poster
Titchy1993 · 04/08/2021 18:18

@TooWicked

Thank you, just needed to know it wasn't normal from other people as he does get upset with it when I mention.

OP posts:
FuckingFlumps · 04/08/2021 18:22

as he does get upset with it when I mention.

This doesn't make it sound like he will start taking it seriously and put some effective measures in place. Surely he knows its not normal and should have already tried to lessen the impact as a result?

Original poster
Titchy1993 · 04/08/2021 18:32

@FuckingFlumps

I hope so, I think he gets very embarrassed by it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Titchy1993 · 04/08/2021 18:36

Thank you everyone for commenting. Sorry if I caused some confusion.
Just at my wits end with everything. I'm trying to be as supportive as I can towards him but it's just getting ridiculous now for the fact that he's forgetting even though it written down and I've reminded him. Feel like his damn mother half the time. Sad

Thank you though for te suggestions and comments

OP posts: