I think I’m depressed?

[Tulipgold898]

Can depression just come out of no where? I don’t know if what I feel is linked to a particular event in my life, a combination off them or if it has just come out the blue. I don’t know if it’s low mood or depression either. I’ve been feeling down for about a month and it’s getting worse over time. I’ve lost interest in everything I once enjoyed. At times I feel like I might have a panic attack. I start thinking about things like my parents dying and how I will manage without them.

Possible triggers could be:

• Having children. They are 2 and 1 and I’ve enjoyed my maternity leave with them but also not feeling guilty about leaving them for work so it’s not that. It’s only started in the last few weeks so unlikely to be hormonal but maybe it’s finally hitting me now that my old life is gone? Did it hit anyone at a later stage?

-Returning to work after Mat leave but working from home and missing the social interaction with my old colleagues who have all left. Maybe I’m getting the lockdown blues a little later than everyone else?

I’m scared of taking medication as I don’t want to get hooked and feel spaced out. I also feel skeptical about therapy.

Depression doesn't have to have a "cause" it can appear out of the blue for some people.

But it can also be due to cumulative stress and then one more "small" thing tips a person over the edge.

You have I think outdated and incorrect beliefs about medication. Anti depressants are not addictive and the vast majority don't have the "spaced out" effect on patients and the few that do this tends to wear off as your body adjusts.

Eg I'm on mirtazipine which is a less often prescribed medication, it made me feel drowsy the first couple of weeks I was taking it just after I had taken it in the evenings but this effect soon wore off.

I have been on several different kinds of anti depressants over the years and that is the only one that had this effect on me.

Therapy can be incredibly helpful if you have the right therapist for you. You don't have to do or say anything you don't want to and can request an alternative therapist if you don't "click" though you may have to wait a while for a new one.

But trying to cope on your own is the worst option of all.

Take it from one that knows!

I wish I had sought help and support far earlier than I did.

I ended up having a full on nervous breakdown with hallucinations and all sorts very scary. I quickly got the help I needed but I really do believe that if I had sought help sooner before it got that bad I would be doing much better now.

Honestly the sooner the better

@Graphista Thank you, that’s really helpful. Would be good to hear from anyone who has been on anti depressants temporarily.

Bumping for you

So sorry you're feeling this way.
I would definitely recommend going to speak to your doctor.

I was very similar in terms of not wanting medication and thinking therapy wouldn't help. I put off asking for help and tried to manage with self help and a variety of mindfulness apps!

I eventually spoke to the doctor because I would cry everyday and have no idea why. If I wasn't crying, I was sleeping and vice versa. I had zero motivation and just didn't see the point in anything anymore.

The doctor gave me antidepressants which I did take for a while but I really disliked the numb feeling they gave me. People describe it as feeling level but I just felt nothingness which I hated. I was probably on them for about eight months in the end and had no trouble coming off of them.

Instead I have been having CBT sessions which have helped hugely to work on my mindset and look at the root cause of the depression and anxiety. Im an over-thinker and just having someone to talk through things with instead of creating huge issues in my head makes a world of difference!

Just to add, I was questioning the effectiveness of therapy as I had it in the past and felt it had no effect. I genuinely believe now that this was just a fact of not being compatible with the therapist. You need to find someone you're comfortable with for it to be effective.

Please please do talk to someone. Telling someone you think you're depressed is incredibly difficult but once you've done it you can start working on feeling better!

@Graphista thank you for bumping it for me!

@MrsTeach thank you for sharing your experience. The numb feeling is what I’m worried about with medication. I think a lot of my issues come down to loneliness and I don’t know if therapy can help with that? I feel like I don’t belong anywhere and I wish I could be around people who I could just have a laugh with.

@Tulipgold898 I think therapy can often help with a lot of things that we have deemed unsolvable.

Perhaps you need to have some support with the feeling of loneliness in terms of finding strength and happiness in your own company. It's not the same but I did a lot of work on feeling okay on my own rather than needing to be in a relationship to feel myself happy. I felt like I couldn't possibly be happy if I didn't have a person there to 'make' me happy if that makes sense?

Could you reconnect socially with the work colleagues? Or do you have any interests where you could join a class and meet new people?

I felt very similar to you a few months ago, for me it was a similar time after having my last baby and I didn't have a job to go back to so started a new one but then that was temporary and coming to an end and I had a few unsuccessful applications for other jobs that made me feel rubbish so I attributed it to that. I did all the things I thought I should do like exercise, make an effort to see people etc but I just felt so low and like I couldn't enjoy things in the way I normally would and I had this underlying anxious feeling I couldn't shake.

I couldn't stand the idea of feeling like that indefinitely so I spoke to the GP, they seemed a bit unsure about prescribing me antidepressants but did and I started taking Fluoxetine. I felt a bit worse at first but then started feeling better and now about 8 weeks in I feel more like myself again. I don't feel spaced out or numb, I just feel more positive and 'can do' about things.

I don't know how long I'll stay on them for but I managed to find a new job so I think I'll stay on them until I get settled into that if I can as I don't want those anxious feelings to overwhelm me again. The GP also put me in touch with a counselling service and I've started doing an online CBT programme and it's helping me.

I'd recommend speaking to your GP, they deal with this kind of thing all the time, it's really common to have these feelings at times. I've not told anyone but my DH about it as I don't think anyone else needs to know and I can't see it helping for me to talk to my wider family but if you have a different kind family it might. Hope you feel better soon x

@MrsTeach Yes that’s an interesting way of looking at it. Honestly I’m surprised at how much I need the social contact. I’m an introvert so you would think I wouldn’t struggle with this. My DH on the other hand who’s an extrovert seems fine! I do wonder whether it’s maybe just this stage in life where I feel like there isn’t much to look forward to and I miss my old life. So hard to put my finger on what it actually is.

@OptimisticNincompoop Thank you for sharing your experience with me x Do you know what has caused these feelings for you? Do you think it’s the uncertainty around your job or adapting to a new life?

Antidepressants do not make you 'spaced out' or 'become hooked'. If you are type 1 diabetic, you need your insulin. If you suffer from anxiety and depression long-term, as I do, you need your antidepressants. End of.

I think there were a lot of different factors for me, the job thing was one but also have had quite a lot of major changes in life over the last few years plus obviously coronavirus etc. I do think that perhaps I've always had a tendency towards depression / anxiety though tbh and I've found coping mechanisms in the past like alcohol and men to mask how I've felt but I'm getting to a stage in life where I don't want to carry on doing that and want to be happier and more comfortable in my own skin.

Hi its horrible to know so many are struggling with depression. I'm a bit of a longturm suffer myself. I'm prescribed fluxetine and also femoston for peri menapouse. I'm not sure what's depression or menapouse but I feel so low. The femoston seems to have stopped working and the fuxatine I didn't have time to pick up due to working so many jobs there was no time to collect them. I cracked the other day. Couldn't go to work. I'm now so scared. What happens if I'm to ill to go back. I have only myself financially and I've only been getting by as it is. What happens when you lose your job because you can't function anymore. Sorry this is long and so sorry for all fellow sufferers