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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My Dad always People Watching

95 replies

wavesshore · 04/08/2021 16:08

I like my Dad but he is such a people watcher always been like it, when I've been on holiday with him and DM he's always commenting on other people such as "Look at him he's wearing the same thing as last night", "Look at him dinking alcohol he doesn't look 18". I feel like telling him that I don't care and stop being nosy. Would this drive you mad or is just normal conversations?

OP posts:
MyShoelaceIsUndone · 04/08/2021 19:19

Sounds like he’s making conversation

JoanWilderbeast · 04/08/2021 20:06

As long as he's not posting it online, it's like the old days where no-one knew so didn't care ;)

Helendee · 04/08/2021 20:08

Sounds normal to me.

Onlinedilema · 04/08/2021 22:26

Oh no I’m wondering what people say about me ☹️.

WithLoveFromMyselfToYourself · 04/08/2021 22:28

I would describe that as bitching rather than people watching.

3scape · 04/08/2021 22:32

Doesn't he have anything interesting to talk about? I'd hate to be stuck on holiday with someone who thought those were topics of conversations. Does he blurt out all random thoughts he has, or just about people around him?

Smartiepants79 · 04/08/2021 22:37

It’s not nosey, it’s just commenting on stuff that’s right in front of his face.
I like people watching. I mostly do it in my head though.
If I comment I’m always careful to make it positive.

BaronessOfTheNorth · 04/08/2021 22:44

My Dad does this and I find it hilarious. What makes it so hilarious is that he does it out of the corner of his mouth but loudly and I frequently clock him looking for his next subject. The words "prat" and "pillock" are often bandied about.

I often join in but I love to make predictions about their lives.

pigsDOfly · 04/08/2021 22:51

Never understood this.

Some years ago I signed up to an older persons' on line dating site and I found that quite a number of men would put 'people watching' as one of the things they liked to do.

It's a hobby? Who knew? But apparently it is for some people.

I always skipped past them.

If I was with someone, whether a date, family or friends and the conversation and company was so uninteresting that we had to resort to watching what people around us were doing then it would be the last time I'd go anywhere with them.

Kite22 · 04/08/2021 22:57

I love a bit of people watching. Rarely get through the book I lug on holiday with me, then to the beach or the pool.

I don't give a running commentary on people though.

goddessofmischief · 04/08/2021 23:07

DM always does this and has to make a negative comment. Most recently about a clearly disabled baby. That made my skin crawl. Baby was beautiful. A really sharp shock insight for me. I just don't understand how someone could think that way. Made me feel ashamed to hear it.

WomanStanleyWoman · 04/08/2021 23:07

@Marmitemarinaded

I love to people watch with my children

“Spot the woman with the red shoe”
“Spot the man tickling his daughter”
“Spot the boy eating a mr whippy ice cream”
“Spot the man with a Hawaiian shirt”

That’s people watching

Your father is engaging in negative bitching

I don’t think I ever heard my beloved late father ever “bitch” about someone.

Must be shit

This is way OTT. ‘He doesn’t look old enough to drink’ is hardly ‘negative bitching’. To a man in his sixties, an 18 year-old probably does look impossibly young!
Craftgirlx · 04/08/2021 23:19

OP it sounds a bit like your dad has annoyed you so you’re being a bit sensitive to his behaviours - we all get like this, I do with my own dad too! It doesn’t sound like he’s being nosy or bitchy though, just making observations about what’s happening around him. I think it’s normal and is definitely just harmless people watching as long as he’s not being rude directly to the people he’s observed.

ImInStealthMode · 04/08/2021 23:28

My (now departed) Grandmother used to do this all the time, but always negatively.

'Look at her in those leggings with that arse'
'Look at Lady Muck in that new car'

And so on. Judgemental and outrageously jealous of anyone who had more than her, no matter how hard they'd grafted for it.

I took to very bluntly shutting her down, or just leaving the situation in the end.

IMO if you're spending an evening out / holiday / day trip looking for things to criticise in strangers rather than enjoying your own friends and family, you're doing it wrong. So YANBU op.

PieceOfString · 04/08/2021 23:31

Depends if it is a constant stream of criticism -tedious and bitchy. Or if he is curious and guess their job like an pp said or you have a laugh making funny back stories for them. That's good people watching, fun and normal.

LemonFantaGin · 04/08/2021 23:34

I love people watching, DP and I make up conversations whilst people watching, its hilarious 😂

HopingForOurRainbowBaby · 04/08/2021 23:39

He'd get on well with my ex mil. One time she spotted someone out the window and got straight on the phone to tell someone else. "Ooh Mabel you never guess what I've just seen! Only beryl walking down the street with another man and it certainly wasn't Jack. You don't think she's having an affair do you?" We're all just sat there like who gives a fuck Grin

Lolalovesroses · 04/08/2021 23:45

Most comedy is based on people watching. The Royal family was based entirely on passing comment on others.We are social animals and are interested in others. I see no harm in it.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 04/08/2021 23:49

I always people watch... It CAN be a useful skill in some jobs...Grin

But some people I've come across, and some family members keep a constant negative dialogue while people watching ... And often, none too subtlely....

She shouldbt be wearing shorts with an arse like that! / look at the paunch on him! / she used to be pretty/ he was sacked for stealing /'she looks like a skeleton' - this made me feel sick as this woman was clearly unwell with something/ he's not got long...
Always negative/always unpleasant.

I find it really really draining.

Recessed · 04/08/2021 23:56

I hate this. My sister and an old friend are notorious for it. They are so bloody nosy and have a comment on everything and everyone. The worst part is you feel you can never just be "in the moment" with these types as you could be trying to have a conversation and they're looking over your shoulder listening to the couple at the next table and will delight in relaying everything they've heard/seen. Rude and tedious.

AnnaSW1 · 05/08/2021 00:29

Sorry but I'm with your dad

PinniGig · 05/08/2021 00:46

It's part and parcel of everyday life here we turned it into a game on long car journeys and whilst on holiday and still do it now as a normal thing.

In the car we'd play games like “The next car that comes up on our inside – where are they going and what's the driver thinking about?” or "The next red vehichle is being driven by the woman / man of your dreams" and it'd be a little red Nissan Micra with a 104yr old peeping over the wheel.

When the kids were little and we were at bus or train stations we'd create voices from pigeons head bobbing and scrapping for bits of grain or bread. Created full characters and scenarios where they would be arguing, falling out, splitting up and agreeing to arrangements over the kids etc.

My favourite of all time was when we were on a five hour drive home and getting bored shitless then approached a huge motorway sign with a large sheet over the top.

I went “Quick – what does that sign have written on it underneath the sheet?”

Husband without missing a beat “This sign must be covered at all times”

We still people watch and do the same thing now when we're out and about. The dogs have voices, the horses have voices and we refer to most of our neighbours by nicknames they'll never know it's just normal.

I did musical theatre for years and my son does video games design and voice characterisation which we're hoping to get booked into the studio sound booth as soon as restriction are lifted.

Nothing wrong with people watching and even people bitching and commentary isn't a bad thing providing it's not LOOK AT THAT FAT BITCH OH MY GOD! 😂😂

rosalie11 · 05/08/2021 00:51

Don’t want to insult your dad but I had a friend like this she was so negative
I care about making money not watching how others choose to dress or look

SkiingIsHeaven · 05/08/2021 00:54

I think I'd like to sit with your dad and join in.

I love people watching.

EmeraldShamrock · 05/08/2021 00:56

I hate this, is he nosey and judgemental too? It is usually a package personality.