To think this is not over thinking?

[Arseholery]

We are seeing friends for a significant event on Saturday.

I've just realised I've forgotten the beautiful necklace that they bought me for my special recent birthday.

I don't wear it because I have an exceedingly sentimental necklace that I wear everyday.

DFs know that I only wear this necklace and the provenance/significance of the necklace. Actually I'm quite surprised that they bought me a necklace, knowing that I only wear one necklace. Shrug.

I want to get necklace sent to us so I can wear it when we see them.

DH thinks this is bonkers and they (let's be honest it's she) won't notice.

She absolutely will. And will be prickly when she notices I'm not wearing it.

They have previous history of getting irrationally offended. I'm not strong enough. for similar outcomes when it could be avoided.

AIBU to get it sent to ensure social harmony?

Every day

If your friends get annoyed because you’re not wearing it then they’re pretty unreasonable. Just wear it in front of them on another occasion so they can see it’s appreciated.

Was it a group of friends that bought you it? You could just explain to them you forgot it & was looking forward to wearing it. They'll all be excited to see you anyway it's not like they'll actually mention the necklace?!

Sorry but if your friends get annoyed at you for not wearing a necklace then you need new friends!

@StormcloakNord

Was it a group of friends that bought you it? You could just explain to them you forgot it & was looking forward to wearing it. They'll all be excited to see you anyway it's not like they'll actually mention the necklace?!

But the OP who knows the friends say they will notice so just saying they won't is silly and unhelpful

If it's feasible to have it sent do that and then you dont need to worry and the friends are happy

There's no downside other than the hassle/cost so just do it.

I wouldn't bother tbh.

If you’re friend is genuinely prickly you just need to say that you loved the necklace but unfortunately the clasp broke so it’s being repaired. You didn’t mention because you didn’t want to embarrass her.

Sent, how?

My answer would depend on the effort involved

It's very special to you. You've kept it locked up at home where it's secure.

Friends who get prickly about stuff like that don’t sound like friends. You seem genuinely nervous about them being unpleasant to you, that just isn’t how friendship works, it’s dysfunctional.

I understand your anxiety - you could well be overthinking it but of course there's always a chance you're not. You know your friends better than we do and if you think it would make you enjoy the event more and it's not a huge ball ache to get the necklace to you in time then I'd say go for it.
If there's any reason it doesn't get to you or the logistics prove too much hassle then if they notice it'll be a 'funny story' about the lengths you went to when you realised you didn't have it with you and they'll still understand how important it is to you.

YABU to indulge your friend's irrational and controlling behaviour.

Wear the necklace you wanted to wear and are wearing.

I’m with your husband on this. Too much faff for no real reason.

I wouldn't bother. It would have been nice to wear it but you made an honest mistake and forgot it, it happens. If they have a massive problem with it then you are honestly better off not being friends with them.

If the “D”F has significant form for that sort of petty behaviour, I don’t think you’re over thinking. But I do think you’re being ridiculous to pander to her.

Why are you scared of this friend's reaction? She bought you an inappropriate gift, she is the one who has been thoughtless, not you.

Are you on holiday or something? If they’re rude enough to ask why you’re not wearing it, just say you left it at home by mistake. Or because you didn’t want to risk losing it. I certainly wouldn’t be anticipating someone pitching a fit about you choosing to wear something other than their gift.

Just say, "I'm so annoyed, I meant to bring that lovely necklace you bought me. It goes so well with this outfit. Can't believe I've forgotten it." Wear it next time.

This is absolute madness. You are not responsible for someone's feelings, and I hate to break it to you, but this woman is no friend of yours. Don't be a doormat.

Think you're right, it is over thinking. I was just trying to be considerate of feelings.

There's a good couple of suggestions here that I could use.

Thanks

She sounds bloody difficult if she would be prickly over something like that. You don’t have to be so accommodating of someone being so unreasonable!