Anxiety and friend

[terrible2s]

So today my friend (who's children are wild) wants me to go to a play area with her, I don't really like my two year old playing with her children anyway because they are just so naughty they are around 3 and 4 and just so rough. I've got major anxiety around covid anyway and because he wasn't walking before covid came along he has never been to a big play area. She wants to go today and I just feel really really anxious about it and I told her this and she just said I was being pathetic basically but I can just see something awful happening because of how rough they are and because he's still not independent fully. She said "he will have loads of fun it's a locked place and you just let them run around it's great" there's loads of big slides and high things there and I just feel anxious already AIBU or is it normal to feel anxious about jt.

Your little one is just venturing out so the last thing you want is for his first experience of this sort of thing to be upsetting and scary. If her two are older and badly behaved you are just being pragmatic and seeing trouble coming. Prevention is better than cure. I'm not anxious but I wouldn't expect my lo to take it on the chin when things are very full on if I knew that's what was coming. I'd want to try them out at such a venue with better company first. It might be that your child would be excited and not care, but if my friend was calling me pathetic I wouldn't be overly keen anyway.
Don't say you feel anxious. Say you have some concerns about how your child will feel going to a big play place for the first time and so you're going to try somewhere a bit smaller first to see how they react. Tbf a 2yo gets a lot less out of these places than a 3/4 to. So this venue suits her very well, not you. She probably intends to let her kids loose and relax with a coffee. You won't be doing that with a 2yo. You'll be up and down like a yo-yo if you even try. Most 2yo I know liked to find the soft play but and sit in it but mummy would be nearby, partly cos of the bigger kids who'd be there and not just hers

If I were taking a 2yo to soft play for the first time it would not be in the school summer holidays, and it would not be with a parent of older children.

Firstly, I think your friend talking to you like that just isn't on and I certainly wouldn't be going with someone who had that attitude and didn't properly supervise her children.

But the thing that stands out to me is your Covid anxiety and not having taken your LO to soft play before. Completely understandable given the last year but I would encourage you to try and get out and about with them if you aren't.

I say this as someone who is CEV with a lockdown baby (20 months). He was terribly clingy and unsure of himself and I really had to force myself to take him out to places once restrictions lifted. I found a soft play for under 4s with a good hygiene policy and no ball pit! I took him to farms, booked play dates and even took him to places like IKEA if I needed to get some bits.

It's obviously a lot to do with age but he is so much more confident and sociable in situations now.

So whilst this doesn't sound like the right occasion to take your LO to, I would encourage you to try and not let your anxiety stop you from going out (if it is!)

I’ve been to soft play loads with my 8 year old and 2 year old - I’d do everything I could to avoid going in the summer holidays. So I’d advise not going for your first time at the moment.

Don't go. Her attitude to parenting is the polar opposite of yours.
Take your toddler somewhere you can both enoy
Alone

YANBU. Wouldn't the 2 yo have to be a in different area for toddlers anyway? Tell her they wouldn't be able to play together anyway as it doesn't sound safe for a 2yo?

Although you do need to learn to be firm and step in if other kids are hurting your toddler. Don't rely on the parent to step in.