Best snappy comebacks

8 replies

josbd · 02/08/2021 21:15

Inspired by the earlier thread about men feeling the need to make vile/bitchy comments at women without fear of retribution, what is your best snappy comeback, or perhaps one you wish you had had the courage to use?

My favourite, which has been successfully used several times over the years IS;

"Yes. You WOULD know, wouldn't you?"

OP posts:

Clocktopus · 02/08/2021 21:22

I worked in the village pub when I was 18 and the local skeeze had a soft spot for me, he was 40. It was obviously True Love on his part because when he paid for his pint of bitter he'd tell me "and one for yourself, pet" after staring at my chest while I poured it. He would make lots of innuendo-based remarks to me, would tell me how my current boyfriend was a loser, would try impress me with stories about poaching with his dogs and just generally made me uncomfortable. He wasn't a nice person looking for company, where I live everyone knows everyone and he was not a nice person. One night it happened, he asked me out, and without thinking I loudly blurted "you're older than my dad!"

He didn't ask again and got the other barmaid to pour his bitter from then on.

Clocktopus · 02/08/2021 21:24

Should add, my parents had me when they were young so at 40 he was was actually older than my dad who was 37 at the time.

30degreesandmeltinghere · 02/08/2021 21:25

People who crash into your trolley in supermarkets

Oh sorry you didn't see me and my trolley there..
They hear the word sorry and assume you are admitting fault!!

AmandaHoldensLips · 02/08/2021 21:42

Looking horrified, exclaim loudly, "oh my god you're that pervert man off crime watch!"

Saracen · 04/08/2021 02:29

I was very impressed with a comeback I heard from a 10yo girl in a crowded room. A boy had made an unpleasant observation about her appearance. He was the sort of kid who was in the habit of defending his nasty comments by saying, "but it's true!" You know the type. There seems no point entering into a discussion with them because they just keep at it.

Well, she glared at him and said VERY loudly, "How. RUDE." Then she turned back to what she had been doing. Everyone looked at him. It shifted the focus from her appearance to his bad behaviour. He was lost for words. It was the only time I've seen him silenced. He knew she was right.

takealettermsjones · 04/08/2021 03:18

Just a good old "did I ask you?" or "what's it got to do with you?" often works a treat!

BetsyBigNose · 04/08/2021 10:15

Apologies if this is already widely known, but I think this one is brilliant!

I read this suggestion of a reply to send in response to an unsolicited 'dick pic':

"Why have you sent me a photo of a child's penis?"

The only answer the guy is likely to provide is "What? No, it's MY penis!"

At which point you double down, and say "Don't be ridiculous, that's clearly the tiny, underdeveloped penis of a prepubescent boy. Why on earth have you sent this to me? Where did you get this photo? Why have you sent me child pornography? What is wrong with you? I'm should report you, never contact me again."

All he can do is admit it's his own picture, which means him owning the fact he has sent an unsolicited photo of his genitals to a woman he has never met, or confirm that it is indeed a photo of the genitals of a young boy, in which case all of the questions in the paragraph above can be put to him again. Either way, he looks ridiculous and creepy and hopefully he will think twice before sending uninvited 'dick pics' in the future. I think it's pretty genius!

pelosi · 04/08/2021 10:17

ooh love this. Is there a link to the other thread?

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