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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Noisy neighbours

69 replies

wearenearlythere1 · 02/08/2021 20:50

We built an extension and as the garden had a strong slope we ended up raising the level up. So now there is only a 4foot wall. We also removed the vegetation on our side because we needed the space.

Our neighbour behind are complaining because the extension is causing an echo (they also have no vegetation). I agreed to raise the wall hight with a fence panel, so we are not looking in. She still is not happy because she wants the noise blocked off. She says she can hear every conversation I have even when I am in the house. The kids in the garden. How do I even meet that demand?

OP posts:
StoneofDestiny · 02/08/2021 20:57

I doubt it's possible to hear every conversation you are having in your home, especially as you are detached! They just want you to pay for more boundaries/walls/fences.

essentialhealing · 02/08/2021 21:06

Can you go round to their's and listen to what they're hearing first hand?

FudgeFlake · 02/08/2021 21:13

I know this isn't a parking thread and therefore diagram isn't mandatory - but some sort of plan would be helpful. It's going to have to include height contours though... Clearly the garden terracing adds an extra level of complicated!

GrrRightBackAtYou · 02/08/2021 21:30

@essentialhealing

Can you go round to their's and listen to what they're hearing first hand?
Yes have some of your family in your extension talking then go and see what the neighbours are actually complaining about.
Allllchange · 02/08/2021 21:32

If you are willing add some bushes or something near the wall maybe to soak up the noise and advise her to do the same?

lannistunut · 02/08/2021 21:33

I would just shrug, this sounds like total nonsense. Go and listen if you wish but to get anyting done about this she will need a noise diary and there is nothing she can write in there that would bring about any action, surely?

30degreesandmeltinghere · 02/08/2021 21:33

Tell her you are happy for her to provide you with appropriate shrubs etc but you won't be buying anything..

LongTimeMammaBear · 03/08/2021 07:59

Your neighbour has the choice to add something her side. If it bothers her enough, she can choose to do something. You have made an attempt by adding height.

maddening · 03/08/2021 08:24

We had this with a hotel we lived next to. They fully paved what had been a grass slope, and rather than a grass slope it was a higher paved patio with steps down, so was higher closer than it was before. They removed a.load of trees and rather than a 6 foot fence that followed the height of the ground, it was a wall that was 7 foot at the bottom but only 4 foot at the raised patio.

Omg, the echo of people talking was.awful and all our privacy was gone. It was awful.

starrynight87 · 03/08/2021 09:13

Offer to listen

Original poster
wearenearlythere1 · 03/08/2021 09:30

I would never have thought of offering to listen, but I guess even if I do that and say I can hear us that doesn't help that much.

I don't doubt we are noisy (2 kids under 5). She said it was annoying when I talk on my phone in the garden, so I don't do that anymore. But my kids do have to play in their garden. It isn't like we are there antisocial hours or anything but I don't work school holidays so I am here a lot of the summer.

OP posts:
Thebookswereherfriends · 03/08/2021 09:34

Suggest she buys some shrubs or bamboo and plants it her side to absorb the sound.

Brefugee · 03/08/2021 09:37

Do not suggest your neighbor gets bamboo FGS. Ours have it and our garden is under a permanent carpet of brown bamboo leaves.

Original poster
wearenearlythere1 · 03/08/2021 09:39

@maddening

Was there anything to make it better?

Ours isn't as significant, the garden is raised but 2 foot. Basically levelling out what was a slope to the old rear of the garden. We probably had 4 foot of vegetation that we removed. Our garden is only 32 feet so we couldn't meet that much vegetation. I do note that she also has no vegetation in her garden. Just one tree and a small bit of grass. They like entertaining.

OP posts:
Original poster
wearenearlythere1 · 03/08/2021 09:45

I meant to say they like entertaining so everything is paved. I think they have a pizza oven and big bbq. I couldn't be 100% sure but everything their side is paved. I would say the slope in their garden is 5/ 6 foot

OP posts:
maddening · 03/08/2021 09:58

I would try making the wall higher, losing my privacy was the worst part.

The noise was very possibly unfortunate acoustics of their extensions and paving as well as removing the trees. Not sure if that is the same for you, but it did feel like it amplified even normal conversations.

We did have a tree but it took years to train it to cover more area and obviously did not give total coverage from a privacy perspective, not sure how it affected acoustics as our house was parallel to the lower part and it was noisy in the house but there was nowhere we could put any foliage our side there as it was just the path to our front door.

Thank god we moved.

ClaudiaWankleman · 03/08/2021 10:32

A fence panel will help, as sound doesn't echo as successfully on wood as it is more porous and uneven.

It sounds like she is more annoyed at being able to hear you at all, however. That really is her problem, not yours. More so, since she can easily fix it with a bit of greenery.

Original poster
wearenearlythere1 · 03/08/2021 10:33

@maddening

She said it is the amplification of normal conversations that is the worst. That is the hardest thing to sort though. She was so persistent on the point I felt like I had nowhere to go in the conversation. She is a nice lady but I just felt like there was nothing I could do at this stage

OP posts:
Puffalicious · 03/08/2021 10:46

Yup, she can add a hedge/ vegetation on her side to absorb sound. But look OP, sometimes it's just the way noise moves. I live in a very vegetation lush area, huge mature trees and a very high hedge around 3 sides of our back garden but the way sound moves I can hear loads of our neighbours in their gardens and I'm sure they never tire of hearing my 2 older teens screaming at each other now and again. It's the way it is. We all need to live with each other or move rurally. My DS1 plays drums (never past 8pm as little ones around) and the only comments I've ever had are 'He's getting good' or 'Cool'. You have a neighbour problem.

Original poster
wearenearlythere1 · 03/08/2021 10:57

@Puffalicious

I feel the same, I thought I might be lynched by saying that. Another neighbour plays the saxophone every night at 10pm. 4 years on he is at least playing songs we recognize. It would never occur to me to complain though. There has to be a degree of live and let live.

Small kids are noisy in daylight hours but that is just the cycle of life!

OP posts:
Original poster
wearenearlythere1 · 03/08/2021 11:11

Do people think something like this would be nice on top of a 4 foot wall? I haven't shopped round for a good price this is just the first one to come up

Noisy neighbours
OP posts:
Puffalicious · 03/08/2021 12:02

Yes, OP, you are regularly lynched on MN for having the cheek to live a normal life! Live and let live is my motto. Those would look nice on the wall. Obviously real would be preferable but would take a whole to grow! If they're affordable it shows her you're listening at least. It's THEIR responsibility to plant if they want some sound proofing, but I warn it may make little difference.

maddening · 03/08/2021 20:12

If you do anything to the wall do make sure it works for you though. It is nice of you to try and address it.

Original poster
wearenearlythere1 · 04/08/2021 07:14

@maddening

Thanks, I definitely do want to do something to the wall for my own benefit too. I hate walking into the garden and looking into their kitchen. I am happy to pay for it without their contribution, which I told them in May. The problem is finding a tradesman!

OP posts:
MoreAloneTime · 04/08/2021 07:18

Do the wall if it will help you but I bet this woman is the sort that will always find something to complain about so don't engage too much. I agree that if you live around people you are going to hear them. If you can't handle that you need to love somewhere isolated.