When people don't take NO for an answer and it gets awkward

[Cupcakeicecream]

Had this ever happened to you? This always happens to me it's a nightmare.
Hey do you want to go for a meal? No I'm trying to save money ah it fine this place is cheap.
Would you like some food NO ah alright neither will I, I only wanted one if you have one just because I don't want one doesn't stop you guilty me ends up eating either though I'm not hungry or just ate 🙄.
When you say no to friends and family giving stuff for the house I don't need it and don't have the room ah here you go they drop it off it goes to charity or someone who needs it you are so ungrateful 😑.
Get invited out for cheap day out and take a picnic end its turning into meal an expensive attraction I decline and end up the unsocial one.
When youve got plans and get invited somewhere else so they expect you to cancel plans you've already got to go with them.
When youve said no already why don't people listen I've ended up in awkward situations or stayed longer than necessary because I'm just to polite to be more assertive and don't want to hurt feelings when I already said no anyone else? Been in situations easily avoided.

You’re not saying no clearly enough

@Shoxfordian

You’re not saying no clearly enough

This

Genuinely why can you firmly & politely not say No. I’m afraid you’ve got the shortcoming not the individuals offering food, tat, expensive meals. Really and truly you’re mistaking being unassertive for being polite. And if you habitually find yourself in unwanted or awkward situations the common theme is you

You've answered your own question, you're not assertive enough. You're clearly too worried about pleasing everyone other than yourself.

You say No. Then No again. Then No. Then stick to saying no instead of letting yourself get guilted into something you don't want.

I've ended up in awkward situations or stayed longer than necessary because I'm just to polite to be more assertive

That's not being polite. That's a walkover

I've asd and I find myself in situations like this. The more they insist , the more anxious I get. Its so annoying and makes me so flustered. Why can't people just accept no thank you.

If they don't listen the first time say no again, and again, until they get it.

Don’t explain just say I can’t I’m sorry or no thank you. If you go somewhere set the parameters, I’m taking a pack up lunch, my budget is £x - make sure you research online etc so you aren’t surprised. Say what time you will leave and make sure you can get yourself home/ away at that time or don’t commit. Make sure you stick to your plan otherwise people tend to know you don’t mean what you say and can bulldoze over you - practice talking to the mirror - do you look/ sound like you mean it? Does what you say, spell out what you mean?

I get you OP. Especially with the “tat”. I’ve repeatedly said to my mum “please don’t buy stuff as it’s a waste of money and I don’t want it”, next time she visits she brings more stuff “I told you I didn’t want this stuff please take it home or to a charity shop” she then leaves it for me to find later, literally put away a bunch of stuff in DS wardrobe which I only found when I went to dress him the next day! I thought she’d just popped to the loo.

No, it hasn’t happened to me.
Either my “No’s” are more emphatic or I don’t mix with CF .
Plus I don’t get embarrassed or awkward really

Boundaries keep you out of resentment. An uncomfortable 5 minutes explaining your no or a much longer time resenting someone. It takes practice. Do you know anyone with good boundary setting skills? Copy them