MIL ‘I don’t want to spend my money’

[Eveningtwilight]

Just come back from a few days with the in-laws.

MIL is extremely tight, always looking for things that she can get for free or or someone else to pay for. Everything from services round the house, to meals or trips out. If she doesn’t need to wrench her purse open, she won’t.

So, MIL needs to replace an electronic item and it will be expensive. She must have mentioned this four or five times whilst we were with her, then following it with ‘I just don’t want to spend my money’.

AIBU to find this a little odd?

Is she expecting you to pay for it then?

Yeah mil, I guess you never know what's around the corner...
She is well able to provide for her own care in her dotage.
Make sure you remember that op...

Maybe mention that she can't take it with her!

What did you say back? “Don’t then” would cover it. Is she expecting you to pay for it? Do you often pay for stuff for her? If so stop. Tell her you don’t want to spend your money on it

Well it seems to fit into the personality traits you've described. I'd rather not spend my money either if I can achieve the same results without have to!

If she doesn't want to pay for it she can't want it that much 🤷‍♀️
I know someone like this, always suggesting meals out and forgetting her purse, always used to turn up at a family meal time, always complains and heavily hints about work needing to be done to the house but spends her money on expensive hairdos and manicures.

I'd have answered something like "Well have you tried phoning and asking if you can have it for free" 🥺

Is she my 16 year old?

I hope you didn’t pay for loads of trips and meals put this weekend!

Does she have any money?

She wants you to pay for it.

Hunting in regard to birthday/Christmas?

*hinting

She definitely expected you to whip out your phone, order and pay for it.

So, MIL needs to replace an electronic item and it will be expensive. She must have mentioned this four or five times whilst we were with her, then following it with ‘I just don’t want to spend my money’.

"Well, if you want it you'll have to pay for it, just like the rest of us."

Do not pander to this bullshit. She's trying to get you to pay for it.

Oh that classic ‘I want to buy something but I also want to all keep my money’ problem. Maybe she’s hoping you’ve finally cracked that age old dilemma? (If you have let me know, I’d love to know if there’s a way I can pay my mortgage without spending any of my money )

No, we don’t, even though there is a big deal made of how ‘sharing is caring’. Bollocks to that when she is so grabby.

So, DH just phoned to tell her our flight had arrived safely and her first response was ‘Tell EveningT she left a packet of biscuits and I am eating them’…..

She was hinting and hoping you would feel sorry for her and offer to buy it for her.
Just say "Oh dear that's a shame" and change the subject next time.

Has she heard of Freecycle?

Oh did you post about this before?

The sharing is caring has rung a bell.

Sounds like she is hoping someone will offer it. Deeply unpleasant behaviour.

Simply reply - Don't then. End of conversation.

I would answer "oh dear, well you'll have to do without it then!"

She sounds like an arse.

@Bingbongbash

Does she have any money?

Well she keeps saying that she 'doesn't want to spend her money' which implies she could buy it if she wanted to, also the fact that she's tight is also probably an indicator that she could have built up a decent sum that she could spend if she wanted to.

One of the early signs of dementia is hoarding/obessions about money. I know this now, didn't at the time re a relative who was as tight as a duck's arse, but wasn't always like that.