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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say that my cleaner...

21 replies

BlossomOnTrees · 02/08/2021 13:00

Means a lot to me?
I told her this the other day and DP said it was a bit full on. But I genuinely do think a lot of her and appreciate the value she brings to my family.

OP posts:
SmidgenofaPigeon · 02/08/2021 13:04

That’s nice 🤷🏻‍♀️

MiaMarshmallows · 02/08/2021 13:06

I would appreciate a cleaner and tell her I valued her work. Not sure I would say she means a lot to me though!

MuchTooTired · 02/08/2021 13:06

YANBU. I think it’s nice to tell people positive things! Some might find it a bit full on, but I still think it’s nice to be nice.

PivotPivotPivottt · 02/08/2021 13:07

I'm a cleaner and was told this morning I'm a "smashing girl". Really made me happy. Another client left me a lovely note a couple of weeks ago with money to get my children an ice cream after my shift. I've not been doing the job for long and am always doubting myself that I'm good enough so I really appreciate the compliments.

RoseAddict · 02/08/2021 13:07

Yes I agree. I never understand why we pay carers and cleaners and fruit pickers and bin men and caterers so little. Seems to me pay is inversely proportional to actual value in our society. I think there is a taboo on telling them their value in case they ask for more money!

HOkieCOkie · 02/08/2021 13:15

I love my mums cleaner, she’s such a kind person and is very very good and efficient at her job. Her kids are fab too they are hard workers and are happy to cat/dog sit etc lovely family.

Toddlerteaplease · 02/08/2021 13:15

Yes. I had a brilliant cleaner. I was gutted when she gave up cleaning. She was such a lovely person.

SamVimes6 · 02/08/2021 13:35

You do not need my permission to appreciate your staff!

DancesWithTortoises · 02/08/2021 13:37

My cleaner has become a friend. It's lovely. We were acquaintances and she started cleaning for me as a favour. 12 years ago.

30degreesandmeltinghere · 02/08/2021 13:39

Cleaner here!! Absolutely know I am appreciated!! One of my customers bought ds's cot!!
Lovely to be told!!
I am sure your cleaner was touched op!

Crankley · 02/08/2021 13:40

My cleaner has been with me closwe to 20 years. I'm physically disabled and would be lost without her. I tell her this every week, usually during her cigarette and glass of Pimms break. Smile

notanothertakeaway · 02/08/2021 14:00

I think it's good to appreciate a job well done, pay a living wage, support the business by recommending your cleaner to others, and give occasional gifts eg birthday, Christmas, "saw this on holiday and thought of you"

But on MN, I sometimes see people saying their cleaner is their best friend, like one of the family, couldn't do without them etc. I think that's over the top / blurring boundaries / comes across as insincere

suspiria777 · 02/08/2021 14:24

As long as you pay her well!

GlamGiraffe · 02/08/2021 14:35

Both DH and I have said similar to our cleaner. She has become a member of our household really. She lives in this country alone and usvery upung and when shes lonely she just comes around. Often at weekends she just turns up as she knows were always here and knows we don't mind as there are always loads of people coming and going. She gave me a lovely card thanking me for looking after her and being supportive so i think it suits us.
It probably completely depends on uour relationship. Propably your DH doesnt see your cleaner in person to have the same relationship as you do or sees her just as a service provider?

DeathByWalkies · 03/08/2021 01:55

In my family there's a cleaner who has been with us for over 20 years. She's become a friend, and more important to us than many family members.

We exchange Christmas gifts, she's invited to family parties, and has shared in just about every big family moment over that time.

We had a crisis where a family member was suddenly and unexpectedly thought to be dying, and there was trouble getting hold of the next of kin; I called her and asked her if she might be able to get there to hold a hand; she was able to get there before I could and I was ever so grateful.

... and we just so happen to pay her to do some housework. But she's so much more valuable to us than that.

YANBU.

VimFuego101 · 03/08/2021 02:14

If I found a good cleaner I'd cling onto them for dear life. It would make such a difference to my sanity to have a clean and tidy house and to relieve some of my workload. So I can see why you feel that way.

Yaya26 · 03/08/2021 02:29

Absolutely. My cleaner is one of the few people I can rely who makes my life bearable.

Clydesider · 03/08/2021 02:37

This thread has brought a smile to my face!

MiaMarshmallows · 03/08/2021 11:01

The thing is, if this person quit, you would replace her in a second and she would likely be forgotten about.
I have been in similar household roles and had similar said to me but when I left, that was it. I obviously didn't mean that much so please don't say it unless you mean it.

DancesWithTortoises · 04/08/2021 10:48

My first cleaner moved house 200 miles away 12 years ago. We're still FB friends and have met up a few times when she's back in the area.

Original poster
BlossomOnTrees · 04/08/2021 11:17

Even if she is no longer my cleaner, she would still be important to me.

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