To ban YouTube in my house

[sourdoughnut]

Three weeks into summer hols and pregnant with dc3, so may be slightly affected by hormones. I can't listen to the incessant talking of grown men playing video games anymore so I've banned it from the house. DS9 has the option of watching it in the garden room if he wants to but he likes to lay claim to the living room TV and so I'm currently getting the silent treatment whilst he watches The Healing Powers of Dude for the 7th time.

We're trialling him being with his (Disney)dad for half of the summer this year so he's not even here half the time at the moment which makes me feel meaner. It's just him and his dad when he's there and he gets to do pretty much as he wishes. EURGH.

YANBU, it sounds awful. He has the option of using the garden room so it's not as though you have banned him outright. He shouldn't get to monopolise the living room. You're doing him a favour by setting these boundaries.

Also, solidarity with the pregnancy hormones!

Mines not allowed on YouTube anymore. For some reason her behaviour is absolutely vile when she’s been on it. She’s fine with anything else, just not YouTube

Thanks @CanofCant, I struggle with setting boundaries, but you're right it is for the best and does him good. Just hate being the bad guy!

@SheABitSpicyToday it's odd isn't it? It freaks me out that he just gets totally sucked in and will stare at it for hours without saying anything. I find that and roblox really affect his behaviour afterwords

It freaks me out that he just gets totally sucked in and will stare at it for hours without saying anything.

That doesn’t sound particularly freaky to me, seeing as people actually pay a fair whack to do the same thing at a cinema, and will do the same thing watching films at home.

YANBU. I’ve got rid of it. No one died.

He doesn't do it watching a film @plodalong12

yanbu

ban it

Hate YouTube after seeing what it does to the children with asd I teach.

Granted, some of it is useful if watched carefully monitored by adults. Ive used certain educational films in school. I've also seen it used to prepare a child with asd for visiting places on holiday.

However it's also addictive crap, and if watched on the adult platform, children can access inappropriate and inaccurate content very easily.

YANBU. Have banned it in my house from today. I. Am. DONE.

@WarriorN he started watching Mr Beast the other day - I thought it was just harmless drivel, but when I listened harder there were some really very adult themes going on and I banned it immediately. It's so easy to let this stuff become background noise without thinking about what is actually going into our kids brains.

He doesn't do it watching a film

But surely that's just because the films are less engaging to him.

@WarriorN do you mind elaborating? My (possibly asd) ds is addicted to YouTube lately and I know it isn’t good but I really can’t deal with the huge meltdowns if I say no

@nothanksbarb my ds watches mr beast and I must admit I’ve never really listened. What is it that was inappropriate?

There was a safeguarding issue where a child was creating his own public channel for a mix of things including grand theft auto clips. Then he was typing to anyone around the world in comments and lots of swearing etc. They clearly thought he was older. He was a capable child re reading and writing although it was v immature.

Two other situations have been where children are awake all night watching/ playing and then sleep in the day. One had to have social work intervention at home and a strict routine at school to reverse this.

However I completely understand the situation you're in.

I've taught children where there's clearly been an understanding around what is and isn't allowable but those children seemed to be more able to negotiate. And they've learnt huge amounts of fantastic science etc.

Most of my experience probably pre dates YouTube kids and also certain algorithms settings.

My 8 yr old has only found it in the last year (via seesaw as videos went straight to YouTube.) but we eventually allowed YouTube kids with restrictions on and strict time limits. I'm still not keen on the format but all his friends watch it and to be fair, he's built things in minecraft watching a video on how to do.

I do know about a particular issue with videos by trans identifying teens being watched by children with autism (possibly undiagnosed) who feel differently and so begin to think "this is me." As with some neurotypical children/ teens. A young woman I know was about to get surgery etc till she realised she was gay.

It's a double edged sword. My niece is autistic and has binged "girly stuff" on YouTube but it has helped her to understand how to fit in better with her peers. And I know that adults with autism have described how helpful it is.

I think I'd be strict with time limits, and also content if its causing distress.

Computers in general can be a difficult area, I taught one child who almost seemed to be dealing with physical withdrawal if he had to come off when asked. We introduced rewards that were time based with sand timers and he was much better. I don't know if rewards would work at home but certainly timers could be helpful.

This is primary age children I need to add.

@CheersBoris I'd heard them say 'I'm pissed (off)' a few times and let it go, but then I heard one of them talk about 'being hard' and some other innuendos that I just found creepy and I banned it completely. I'm no prude and we're not a particularly strict household but it just felt gross. Luckily DS loves Dantdm - he's much less hectic, and he's also very kid friendly and actually quite sweet. Still don't want him in my living room though.

That's really interesting @WarriorN. Can you set time limits on YouTube or do you set a separated timer?

YouTube completely wrecks DS9ms behaviour if he watches too much of it. We’ve had a really stressful couple of months with a house move and various other things and we’ve definitely relied too much on ‘digital babysitters’ and it’s had a really detrimental effect on his attitude.

My husband (not actually Ryan Reynolds) still watches this shit. Why do you want to watch someone else playing a video game?

Can you set time limits on YouTube or do you set a separated timer?

There's a thing on the ipad that sets screen and app limits with codes etc. Beyond that I do believe you can install special internet monitoring/ control programmes that look at all internet traffic and can be set to times etc. I even think it can block certain sites, possibly to times. My school did annual training pre Covid; I've forgotten the programme names I'm afraid. If I find the paper I'll endeavour to come back!

If a sand timer works that's great! Certainly 5min warnings too.

Sometimes when its "at source" they can be less cross with you as it's just the way it works! (Sometimes, I know how a child experiences autism and the world can be very different and unique. ❤️)

After my daughter finding Blippi I feel like blocking you tube 😂

Eurgh @birchtree23 my youngest loves Little Baby Bum

I hate you tube. Managed all of lockdown with my 5 Yr old and under 1 and it was never turned on (lots of other TV though!) One weekend with dh and she was back watching it. I was fuming and only just, about two months later has she finally stopped asking for it

No issue with YouTube (as long as you have oversight what they watch) but how long a day are you letting him watch. Mine are max an hour which isn’t too big a deal!

YANBU. DS is almost 9 and obsessed with it. I limit it but when it's not on he pesters incessantly about it, along with the iPad. He likes Preston and Unspeakable who are both knobs. The Hermitcraft people are ok though and a lot less grating. Grian's voice is actually quite calming!

@RyanReynoldsHusband my BIL is the same - I don't understand it? Wouldn't you rather just... play?

@Jangle33 I guess the key is time limits

@VariantL1130 DD2 has commandeered the iPad so unfortunately he 'has' to watch it on the big screen. I've heard of Preston and Unspeakable - DS isn't a fan, not heard of the other one, I might suggest it though!!