To accept if they offer?

[Treezan82]

Dd birthday lunch - we invited both sets of grandparents plus my sister and her son. That is 10 people in total - 2 kids meals and 8 adult meals. Obviously was going to be our treat and I chose a restaurant that does 50% off food with Taste Card to make it affordable for us.

Since then, PIL have asked to bring their grandson (our nephew) as they are looking after him that day - absolutely fine. Sister's husband I thought wasn't coming as I assumed he'd be at work - turns out he is off so he is coming too. Also fine of course.

Guess what - the restaurant no longer accepts Taste Card. So we have gone for 10 half price meals to 12 full price meals (10 adult, 2 kids).

The only kid friendly restaurants who do Tastecard near us for more than 2 people have no availability. So we are sticking with this place.

Now of course it is what it is and we will still pay. BUT dh has pointed out that my parents, his parents and my sister will 100% offer to pay for their own. He thinks we pay but if they offer we let them chip in. I feel like that is a bit awkward and we should just insist on paying.

YABU - let them chip in if they offer
YANBU - insist on paying it all

I disagree with the other posters and believe if you invite people out to celebrate a birthday you should pay. If you were hosting at your own home presumably you would provide the food and drinks.

It would be uncomfortable if half the family chip in and your side don't so I would pay for everyone. Is there a reason you didn't invite your nephew and dh's sister and dh in the first place? Maybe they feel they would have to pay as they have tagged along uninvited?

You invited people, I think you’d be bloody rude to expect anyone else to pay!

the problem is more people than invited are turning up, so they would be rude not to at least offer to pay.

When it's your own family, you know the dynamic anyway

to add:

the OP is not asking anyone to do anything,

the question is "IF they offer to pay..."

So, not rude.

I would always expect to pay for myself unless a treat was explicitly offered.

I prefer to pay for myself both as I often drive and am veggie so quite often a chance that it would be a lot less than someone on steak and wine. Also, if I am treating myself and indulging in drink and thinking of adding a dessert and coffee, I would hate to be worried about taking the piss when splitting the bill or being treated.

Maybe it's just different in different families/groups, but I've never understood people expecting to have their meal paid because someone invited them. I've only read about it on Mumsnet.
I think YANBU, if I were invited I'd expect to pay for my own food and drinks and would be very surprised if you paid the entire bill. I'd probably insist quite strongly that you let me pay my share as covering 12 people is a hell of a lot of money!

Can't you just talk to yours and DH's parents and explain the situation and agree to go thirds in advance so no awkardness when the bill comes?

Or ask them to pay for the drinks or something (if alcohol will be involved which bumps the price up a lot).