It's all too much

[OverwhelmedWithIT]

I had a back injury at work in February which triggered an old injury from 2019 (at work)
It's not better. I wake up, pain. I walk, pain. I drive, pain. Sick of being in pain. I'm only 30. I have been doing everything right, doing all the exercises my physio has given me and have spent over £300 on things to help:foam roller, specialised heat pad, a few sessions with private physio, prescription painkillers.

Then my dad who had mental health issues died suddenly in March(not suicide). I didn't find his body, thank goodness, but I did go and sit with him for hours in the cold, surrounded by broken glass from the door being broken down by the ambulance, waiting for the coroner. The police and ambulance had left, but my mum and husband had come to be with me so I wasn't alone but it was so awful. I was very close with my dad.

I was off work for quite a while with the injury, I tried to go back in earlier but it was too much. I have now done a phased return and had annual leave since returning.

I work with disabled teenagers in a children's home, I've been there for a number of years. It's so hard with my injury. My manager is supportive and had agreed for me to work with less challenging residents, but as its the summer holidays many of the less challenging ones have gone home.

In theory I am following my risk assessment to allow back to improve, and the occupational health doctor keeps telling me it's my responsibility to stick to the risk assessment, BUT when watching two residents with epilepsy because my colleagues has needed to go and help elsewhere, if one tries to run out of the room I will stop them by holding the door shut, resulting in them trying to push me out of the way, causing me pain because the alternative is leaving one of them alone, to possibly have a seizure which they will need immediate medication for, without which they could die, and I'm sorry Dr occupational health but in that situation I couldn't step away to avoid myself getting more hurt!!

I've come home and taken 60mg of cocodamol, and I have the heat pack to my injury, but just in so much pain.

I feel at the end of my tether and really don't know how to make it until September when things will be better at work.

I'm so sick of being in pain all the time and still strongly grieving. My mum mentioned the other day about how sad it was that someone else's mum died (back in 2019 I think !?!) And then back tracked and said it's sad your dad died too. Almost like she had forgotten.

Thanks for reading.

I'm so sorry about your dad. As for your back, have you considered seeing a chiropractor? They may be able to help you.

Honestly, I think you need to look towards getting signed off again.

@plodalong12

Honestly, I think you need to look towards getting signed off again.

I was about to say the same. You are surely risking things getting worse by continuing working. I hope things improve soon, back pain is horrible and grinds you down without everything else you are going through too.

Is there no way you could look into a different job? I know it’s easier said than done but I suspect your line of work will just keep triggering the injury.

Sorry to hear about your dad, life can be brilliant but also utterly heartbreaking.

I am sorry your dad has died .

Could you get a 2nd opinion on your back

I shuffled around with an undiagnosed bulging/slipped disc for 7 years. I had a pain in my hip. I was doing all the physio but the pain was constant.

Finally went to a private osteopath who diagnosed me within minutes.
It took a further 6 months to get better.

Thank you all.

I have made a chamomile tea and put some rose oil on my pulse points, going to try and just relax and read my books, not worry too much about actually getting to sleep.

Yes a chiropractor is a good idea. Expensive but hopefully worth it.

And yes, the sensible thing to do would be to get another job, but there are various reasons why I'm not going to at the moment, including just feeling so low that I don't believe anyone would hire me. It's a vicious cycle: get hurt, want to leave, feel too unmotivated to search for another job, get better, don't want to leave any more, get hurt again!

Hang on- you shouldn’t be holding a door shut to prevent a child running away, that’s incredibly risky whether you’ve an injury or not… what is the physical intervention policy at work? With children who are as high risk of death and running off, there needs to be more than a 1:2 ratio, that’s very unsafe. What do the children’s risk assessments say?

Your employer is putting you and the children at risk, this is not ok. Is it a private provider or council run?

Not trying to imply that it’s your fault BTW- am angry on your behalf.

@Usernamenotavailabletryanother

You are right of course. The issue is lack of staff. When we have the proper 1:1 ratio, we just follow them where ever they want to go.

These residents should always be 1:1, but they are only funded 1:1 which means there are no extra staff to cover breaks, or to respond to dangerous behaviour incidents, so we are always left short when this happens. Its easier in term time, when say 1 staff leaves so there are 6 residents with 5 staff, as opposed to when 4 residents go home leaving only 2 residents and 2 staff so if 1 need to leave its much worse. I haven't taken a break yet during the holidays because of not wanting to leave my colleague alone, but for example you can't go a whole shift without needing the toilet! And then when people call in sick without notice that means there are less staff to start with. Its a big issue. We need more staff but the people who decide on the funding don't understand the issues.

Have you seen your GP. You obviously need more effective pain killers.
Duloxetine is pretty good. One thing to be aware of, is depression can cause some back ache, or exacerbate a current one.
One exercise that is very good, is to lie on the floor, or the bed, bend your knees but your feet flat on the floor or bed , then very gently bring your knees up towards your chest wrap your arms around them, and then gently rock backwards and forwards. This doesn't have to be big movement,but it's very good for relaxing the muscles on either side of the vertebrae. If it's too painful to pull both knees up, try doing one leg at a time.
I hope this helps a little, and I hope you're feeling a bit better soon.

@ozymandiusking
I'm going to phone the gp again tomorrow, will ask about other pain killers. The cocodamol makes me feel dizzy so can only really be taken at night, and I have naproxen as well, but that has the risk of stomach ulcers, which is actually what killed my dad, so now I'm scared to take them as I've been having stomach problems since the death, and he never knew he had this ulcer.

Back pain makes me depressed which can give me back pain!? Urgh, difficult.

Thank you, I will try the exercise tomorrow :)

Have you had an MRI? The private osteopath was actually the first person to have looked at my back as I had pain in my hip. Up until then the orthopaedic hospital consultant had never looked at me and the physio therapists just did as he said
Apparently you can get deferred pain from your back in your hip. It was the first thing the osteopath told me. She then looked at my back and said she could see bones bulging out
You need an mri to see what is actually going wrong

Unfortunately my experience brings me to the conclusion that the NHS would rather go for the “cheap” sticking plaster option and hope you die or go away rather than spend an initial amount to try and cure you.
I must have wasted hundreds of thousands of pounds of nhs money to save the £300 mri fee.
They refused to send me for an MRI as it cost too much (GP told me)

Another vote here for an osteopath, they fixed me more in two sessions than a chiropractor did in 25

Your job is physical and so I’m sure you will keep getting flare-ups which has a knock on effect on your mental health. I would look to change careers or take up Pilates. Seriously, it is great for back problems as it strengthens your core which protects your back.

OP, you need to get signed off work, sick again. Without guilt. Both your back problems are work-related injuries. You have not been adequately protected in the work place.

@Bythemillpond @LemonLemonLemon @pilates @robotcollision

Thanks all. I have a telephone appointment later this morning. Yes I know the NHS seems to just ignore these problems. No MRI. After 5 months it doesn't seem like it will just get better!

OKAY, will look into osteopath not chiropractor. I don't know the difference.

I've never done pilates but I was exercising with weights and doing some yoga. Then I was seeing the hand therapist for a non work related issue, and was told to stop these exercises while the minor but ongoing issue with my hand got better... After a month I guess my muscle mass had decreased and what would have previously not hurt me a lot caused this back issue, which of course meant I haven't been able to get back to the exercises (and the pain in my hand is still the same). When I get better I am really going to focus on making myself strong...

I really feel for you OP- Having 1:1 staffing only funded in line with an EHCP doesn’t mean that children and staff are put at risk at break times though…

Is it a children’s home or a residential school? Is it council or private? I ask as there may be different ways to address this depending on the answers.

Irrespective of that, you have been injured at work as a direct result of poor staffing policy which puts staff and vulnerable children at risk. Have you told your employer this?

You can ask the GP for more medication to protect your stomach from the naproxen... it's effective so would help.you to take it.

I agree though injuries at work through poor staffing definitely need reporting. You are doing none any favours by covering the managemetns backs by trying to keep it going. Good Luck.

I suppose pain killers are making what's really going on possibly?
Try an Osteopath,they are very well regulated.
Could it also be depression?

You say the injury was done at work. Have you spoken to them about covering the cost of treatment? I hate the claim culture, so am not saying this lightly, but I think you need to look at getting a solicitor to help you make a claim for costs. You've been injured at work, twice, have had to take time off sick because of the injuries and are now in constant pain & having to pay for medical treatment & painkillers.

I think the difference between an osteopath and a chiropractor is that a chiropractor is more about treating joints and spine movement whilst an osteopath treats the muscles, soft tissue surrounding the joints/spine. More of a whole body treatment.