Hi so me and my partner have been together for over 10 years , we’ve got two children who are both under ten. Anyway to cut a long story short mother in law has rarely bothered with them besides the first day they was born, seemed like a novelty that just wore off.
I think the last time she saw our children in person was nearly a year ago, she lives 15-20 minutes down the road. We have drove up to see her many times but I said to my partner that it was time she started making an effort, she drives but has poor health so doesn’t work. However , I know she often visits her other grandkids , from both of her daughters , and I feel like she spends much more time with them and favours them.
The only contact we get is that she comments on my social media pictures , and sends money occasionally for birthdays etc, which considering she doesn’t live far away I really don’t think this acceptable as a relationship as a grandparent and fair on my children as they barely even know who she is anymore.
I am thinking of just silently removing her from my social media account and when she asks me I’m just going to say that I don’t think she should get to see my children anymore , because she isn’t being a stable grandmother and isn’t making any effort to see them so from now on she just doesn’t need to bother at all. Question is, I feel harsh and I don’t know if I am doing the right thing ? We have fallen out about it before but nothing has changed so I wouldn’t even try talking to her about it again, she was also not a good parent to my partner either, she put him in care from a young and age and rarely bothers with him, yet plays the doting parent when she does. I get people have lives but I’m not expecting much. I just feel like we’d be happier if we just knew where we stood and just lived our lives without worrying about when she’s next going to bother with our children all the time. It’s not adding any good to our or their lives. Seems it only benefits her.