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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours noisy child - 1 year of screaming

33 replies

Inthe5 · 01/08/2021 20:21

The neighbours two doors down (flats) have two children aged around 1 and 2 im just guessing. The elder child screams like he’s being murdered 24/7 only having a break I'm guessing during nap times. This has been going on since they moved in around 1 year ago.

They were bringing the children out in the hallway for extended periods of time and letting the child scream outside my front door as well as running up and down the hallway. I kept telling my landlord and asking that they try to move the screaming child away from the neighbours doors. I understand that I have no control over what they do in their own flat but to stand right outside my door carrying on like that is not fair and the parents should move the children away or try to keep the noise to a minimum. Landlord promised a couple of times that he spoke to them. I have voice recordings as well to use as evidence if needed.

A couple of months ago the noise was so bad I got scared for the child so I went out to the corridor and I heard something rather worrying. The parent had been locking the screaming child out in their hallway at the front door. If you can imagine the parent shutting the living room door and keeping the child outside alone (still in the flat but isolated at the front door area). I slowly walked up near the door and the little boy was alone crying, screaming and kicking down the front door with such force I nearly started to cry as I was shocked at how hard he was kicking. Not once did anyone come and comfort him or speak to him, I genuinely thought they might have left him home alone as all I could hear was him.

I decided to knock on the door and after 5 minutes the dad answered and I explained how I could hear the screaming every day from my flat 2 doors away, I asked if everything was okay. He wasn’t too happy with me knocking and he said that the boy is upset because the mother has gone to the supermarket and that there is nothing he can do to stop him crying. I explained that I totally understand however the screaming is all day every day and not just this one occasion... the whole time I’m thinking something doesn’t add up in my mind, why is this child clearly so unhappy?. He then told the child to stop crying otherwise the neighbours will get angry at him. Obviously I felt terrible after.

The screaming continues still to this very minute but luckily I work full time and at my bedtime I sleep well so can drown out the noise. But when I'm here just chilling out it’s torture. I can only imagine how the poor parents feel being so close to the screaming. Im stuck because I don’t know if the parents are ignoring the child and putting him out near the front door alone which is both making it seem louder and also making him more upset, or if the child is so badly behaved that the parents can’t deal with it.

My instinct tells me that the other child is only a baby so he probably hasn’t learned to play up but the toddler probably has, or the toddler is misbehaving because he is being treated badly. I don’t know any children who scream all day every day. I understand a tantrum and other issues like teething or being upset but surely there is a break in between, this child does not stop. At the top of his lungs like he is screaming for his life.

Another issue is I wonder how much the other neighbours can hear? Unless it really doesn’t bother them as much. Do I need to tell someone about this? I hear the little boy kicking the front door in all the time so the dad is obviously locking him out there daily, bless him he’s all alone just sitting at the front door screaming kicking and crying.

All of our flats have the same layout and I’ve seen in their flat when the dad opened the door to talk to me. So I know where the little boy is sitting. I need to wake up at 5am for work I really hope he settles down soon.

Just a difficult situation and I don’t know what I'm meant to do or if im being unreasonable.

OP posts:
paddlingon · 01/08/2021 21:20

OP as a social worker you don't need to decide how serious the situation.

You are concerned, you make a referral.

A professional can do some assessments that you wouldn't be able to.

paddlingon · 01/08/2021 21:21

Good decision OP.

RedHelenB · 01/08/2021 21:23

Maybe the hallway is the safest place if the child has asd and starts hurting himself or others. I'm thinking that social services may well be able to access some help for them if they're made aware of the situation.

Inthe5 · 01/08/2021 21:25

Thank you, I know it is the right thing. Whatever the situation they will hopefully receive some help. I have found the phone number which I will ring tomorrow and also there on the website it explains the process of how children’s services handle each complaint and the steps that are taken which is reassuring.

OP posts:
Inthe5 · 01/08/2021 21:25

@RedHelenB that’s a really good point. Yes either way hopefully they can help out.

OP posts:
NoProblem123 · 01/08/2021 21:48

Definitely report to social services as a safeguarding issue.
Do it anonymously if you have to.
No way should he be getting locked out, left alone, and allowed to get into such a state.

HoliHormonalTigerlilly · 02/08/2021 07:55

Sounds like he likely has SN snd they don't know how to deal with him. Call social services for sure.

bumblingbovine49 · 02/08/2021 08:21

To be honest,.I doubt they are abusing or seriously neglecting the child as if that had been going on for a year the child would be too cowed to be screaming all day. Neglected and abused small children are usually too scared to make a lot of noise all of the time for a year= . However it is not really usual for a toddler to scream that much over such a long period so something is definitely up. If you don't feel like the parents wil respond positively to any attempts to discuss it, then by all means report it to social services because even if the child isn't being hurt or neglected, the parents sound like they desperately need some.help.

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