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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell you I finally have a tidy living room and ask you for tips on keeping it that way?

80 replies

FlatteredFool · 01/08/2021 19:13

My whole house has become a tip and it getting me down. I have 3dc who are naturally untidy, as am I. I've worked really hard this weekend and finally have the living room tidy. It happens about 3 times a year and I need tips on how to keep it tidy please. The dc are old enough to tidy up after themselves but don't. It's a never ending battle.

OP posts:
81Byerley · 01/08/2021 22:16

When I moved house when my youngest was 15, we recovered from the loft about ten black bin bags full of crap, toys, homework, PE kit, etc.. I'd told my kids that if they didn't put their stuff away, it would be going in the bin. I couldn't bring myself to put it in the bin so had chucked it up through the loft hatch!! They started to put their stuff away though, so having it disappear worked!

FunnyWonder · 01/08/2021 22:21

@TragicKingdom

Don't let anyone in it...
This is what my MIL did with her 'family' room. She had it redecorated, then decided that nobody was allowed in. We were invited to admire it, without stepping on the rug or touching anything, then promptly ushered out, never to return. MIL removed the TV to reduce the risk of anyone asking her to let them use it. The room is locked. And it's not as if the local priest ever calls round to sit in her good room, what with Covid and all that ...
Screwcorona · 01/08/2021 22:29

I just put things away on my way in/out of kitchen, up/down stairs etc...so no journey is wasted and I don't have to set aside specific tidying time. Its just done when I'm going that way

If child or husband leave a mess they're encouraged to do the same

SnarkyBag · 01/08/2021 22:30

I’m not naturally tidy the only way I do it now is by having as few possessions as possible. I aimed to get rid of 50% of everything we owned but it took about 2 years. If you try and do it all at once it’s too overwhelming and actually there is no end goal when you have a family as you have to keep doing it over time as kids grow out of things, you naturally accumulate new things etc.

CommanderBurnham · 01/08/2021 22:49

I'm a little behind where you are @SnarkyBag
Put about 20 pairs of shoes in the charity bag today.

I've come to realise that decluttering my house is decluttering my mind.

Keep a charity bag/box handy. So as you wash clothes, don't put them back in the wardrobe, put them straight in the charity bag.
Ditto broken stuff. Bin it straightaway

emilylily · 01/08/2021 22:56

Pick up (and put away) five items from the living room after each meal.

WhatAShilohPitt · 01/08/2021 23:11

Do you give pocket money? If so, they don’t earn it until they tidy. Stand in the room with a jar and their pocket money. They have three minutes. 10p (or whatever) goes in there every time something gets tidied away. Also works with sweets.

HCblox · 01/08/2021 23:14

Easy- get rid of the kids! Problem solved.
However in all seriousness I'd love to know the answer. I like to imagine if I didn't have a partner then it would be tidy as most of the junk is all his.

changeyourname11111 · 01/08/2021 23:19

@whatsausernameanyway

Are you me? I gutted my living room yesterday and have 3 children who never tidy up ever - this could soooo be me. I have no idea on how to stop them, but I've threatened to take a chainsaw to the internet fibre cable ...not a 100% sure they believe me.
I was also wondering if the OP was me Grin.

I have managed to tidy part of our living room as well today, and have three dc who do nothing to help. Well one does a tiny bit occasionally. The other two do nothing.

EnglishScot · 01/08/2021 23:22

If there are people with ADD in your family it’s unlikely to ever happen and sometimes it’s easier just to accept that Grin

eightyfourandahalf · 01/08/2021 23:27

Don't put it down, put it away.

perfectly put.

and never go to bed in a messy house.

melj1213 · 02/08/2021 00:00

I make it easier to put stuff away than to get it out, and make sure to do a quick tidy up at the end of the evening - straighten the cushions, put the couch blanket back in the basket, take any cups/plates to the kitchen etc - and that is usually enough.

When I was little my parents had a basket on the stairs for stuff to be taken up/down at the end of ghd day. We live in a flat, so no stairs, but we have a pretty redundant corner behind the living room door so I have just put two "crap baskets" there - one for me and one for DD - and any random stuff of ours gets put in there through the course of the day. Theoretically we go through them every day to put everything away but I usually do mine every few days and as long as DDs stuff stays in the basket I'm not that bothered when she sorts it.

Dfdsdfds · 02/08/2021 00:18

What SiresSays says

Walkoflife · 02/08/2021 00:19

Have you considered the the organised mum method?
I started earlier this year and it’s been life changing for me to keep on top of housework.

R2G · 02/08/2021 01:44

Another vote for organised mum method

NumberTheory · 02/08/2021 02:03

I think the idea that people are “naturally” messy or tidy can be a bit of a sticking point. It might help to think of it as “habitually” tidy. Because what you need to do is develop habits. Whatever methods or tricks you end up finding work for you you need to do them regularly until they become habitual. And when you realise you’ve let it slip, you need to push yourself right back into the habit of doing it again.

eightyfourandahalf · 02/08/2021 09:04

I agree. It's all down to priority.

I can't stand mess personally, and I really can't stand wasting my time looking for something. I refuse to make efforts for visitors who will be around for an hour or so but not for me who lives here. As long as I am happy with my home, it's good enough for guests.

Charles11 · 02/08/2021 09:13

I got the dcs into the habit of tidying up before lunch and tidying up before dinner.
Easy to keep on top of it this way.

Original poster
FlatteredFool · 02/08/2021 09:50

Ds thought I was heading upstairs to eat my breakfast (I wasn't) and he said it's now illegal in this house to eat upstairs and made police siren noises 😂

I always thought that when my husband left I'd have a tidy house as the mess was mainly his. How wrong I was. I've had another dc since then and dds are older and have two houses worth of stuff here as there's no room at his Hmm

I definitely need another bookcase. Or some extra shelves. I don't drive so can't get to IKEA. I love books and kept all my childhood ones which dc now enjoy. I have a professional level baking item collection and habit and a tiny kitchen. I also have years of dcs' clothes that need putting on eBay but that seems an impossible task right now. At least they are tucked away in storage cupboards and the loft for now.

I recently donated all the old coats and shoes to charity and have made some progress. Lockdowns, shielding and no car haven't helped to grand declutter event at all but I have made some progress.

So, rules:

No eating or drinking in the living room. Is it mean to say no eating or cups of tea in bedrooms too?

No tv/screens until after breakfast. Dining room is downstairs with no tv.

7.30pm all items out to be returned to their rightful place. 8.30pm for older ones.

OP posts:
Peace43 · 02/08/2021 09:56

A bucket each. All kids items and toys go back in their bucket at the end of the day and the bucket gets returned to their room. 20 minutes tidy round before bath / bedtime EVERY day by kids and you. If you miss it once it descends into chaos!

drspouse · 02/08/2021 11:19

We got some Ikea-type shelves from La Redoute, so home delivery. Or Argos can be helpful too.

My DS needs a hefty snack before bed but if allowed to eat it in the dining room complains he misses out on TV time so he's allowed it while watching but has to hand all plates and cups back to me when I go in to tell him it's nearly bedtime (he has ADHD and is on meds that reduce his appetite in the daytime).

MrsRockAndRoll · 02/08/2021 12:45

IKEA deliver but it's pricey. Though I really wanted a Kallax but didn't want to get it myself so worth it.

Argos sell storage units too.

MrsRockAndRoll · 02/08/2021 12:46



MrsRockAndRoll · 02/08/2021 12:47