We have been divorced about 8 years and dc are 14 and 12. I'm a teacher and before we split ex was a sahd. In mediation we arranged 70/30ish split to me (he had no desire whatsoever to be rp). Holidays have always been massively important to me as I see them as a pay off for having gone back to work f/t when they were babies.
For the last 8 years his time with the dc has been fairly minimal in the summer hols and I would say he sees them less than he does in term time. Twice he and his dm have taken them for a full week away but other than that it can be quite sporadic. When his dm takes them away she books well in advance and emails me direct to check dates as she knows he's disorganised. He doesn't plan ahead and is always skint due to not being arsed to work much. Therefore, through his own choice he doesn't see them that much over the 6 week break. To be honest, it suits me and the dc are fine as it's how it's always been.
This year I booked a week in Wales from next weekend and gave him the dates as soon as I had them - think it was round about Easter when I booked. He didn't reply, which is normal and I had to ask the dc to check he had seen the message. Then I booked three days away for the end of August and again gave him the dates straight away. Again no reply but dc confirmed he'd seen it.
They broke up 3 days before me this year so spent the first week (last week) with him. I saw incredibly cheap theatre tickets and hotel in London for a Thursday the week we get back from our week away. I booked it - one night away 5 days after we get back and 5 before we go away again. He finally replied with an abusive text saying I am taking the piss and think I 'own them.' He then emailed to say he had been planning to take them to Ireland or Scotland but now couldn't due to my selfishness. Now, they couldn't have gone to Ireland anyway as ds2's passport expired just before Covid hit so I'm not renewing until I need to and I also find it hard to believe he will be able to book much anyway now at this short notice so I feel like it's bullshit anyway and he's having a go for the sake of it. He also said he would be collecting the camping stuff from our garage to use for their trip, but that stuff hasn't been used in 8 years and the garage isn't completely watertight so I think he's being optimistic there too.
AIBU to have booked the trip? I find the dc are now at the age when they want to do their own thing but appreciate events like theatre/city trips etc and I want to make the most of them while I can. I also want to make the most of the summer rather than wait for him to say he's booked something which, ime, he usually doesn't. Based on past summers I had no reason to think he would be booking anything as he never has before. However, he has two 5 day windows plus 5 or 6 days right at the end of the holiday (they start back later then me due to INSETs) when he could still book something if he finds availability, His df died a few months ago and he inherited so I assume that's why he feels flush enough to take them away, but why didn't he tell me?! Also, shouldn't he bloody communicate better, then I could tell him stuff like the passport thing and camping gear thing.