I live in the Manchester area. Walking through the city centre yesterday, it was absolutely heaving with groups of people, and I felt sad and depressed that I don’t have my own group as such.
I know people will suggest to join clubs, which is helpful, but I don’t think it’s being able to meet people that’s the issue, it’s just that people aren’t that fussed about me.
I don’t think people strongly dislike me, it’s just all a bit , meh. I also feel like most people only socialise within their immediate circle, at work for instance, and can’t really be bothered if you don’t work with them or see them often.
I’ve always tried to stay in touch with ex colleagues and the like but I gave up as you can tell they aren’t that bothered.
I have one friend, a lady who’s around 20 years older than me. She’s very kind and has supported me. However, we only see each other every 1-2 months and she always seems very flat as in bored or distracted when I speak, it may just be how she is but after around an hour there’s not much more to say to each other.
I have another friend who’s a gay male, he’s very sociable and out often, but it’s not a close friendship as such.
I have been unfortunate in that I’ve had male friends in the past but they usually end up flirting or making comments about the way I look, even though I know not all males would do this. Like I had one who I thought was cool, then I posted a photo of myself in a dress on holiday and he was like “Mmm wow I really can’t stop looking at that photo” even though he had a girlfriend, was really disrespectful.
I am quiet and shy and I did wonder if I come across as standoffish, but I am always smiling and polite. I do try to talk to people and message to meet up, and it’s always like “Oh yeah we will have to meet” but they would never contact me.
I have a partner I live with who’s great, but I don’t want to end up dependant on him as what if he were to leave one day.
Not sure what advice there is to give me, I just didn’t expect to be so lonely at 30 and miserable.