Northern and Southern stereotypes. AIBU to think they are outdated?

[Twelveisthebestnumber]

On the back of another thread there seems to be this assumption that 'Southerners' are rude and unfriendly. I live in the South. Any further South and I'm in the sea so pretty far down! Where I live everyone is so friendly. Walks and shopping take forever with people (quite often strangers) just passing the time of day and having a natter. Shopkeepers, hairdressers etc visit the homes of the elderly if they don't see them when expected. Doors are held open for people, seats given up for others, the elderly are invited to move to the front of queues. Why the stereotype that everyone is aloof and rude here? Have people visited here or have they just been to London and based their views on that experience? Interested in people's opinions.

OP where were you born, and where did you grow up? I am from the north and live in the south.

I would say southerners are more reserved not rude. I don’t know if it’s a class thing, or a countryside vs town vs city thing. But there is a difference. Is it because southerners are fighting for space, housing, roads, pavements, schools?

There is definitely a cultural difference. People shouldn’t expect the whole of England to be like London and the Home Counties.

Northerners tend to be quite proud of their heritage. I don’t think southerners quite have the same sense of pride in themselves. The nation was built in the mines, forges and factories of the north and the Midlands.

London btw is a while other kettle of fish. That place does something to your soul, and not necessarily in a good way. I lived there for 6 years and glad I escaped. It’s good to visit and that’s it.

My pennies worth.

I live in the South West, not far from the coast myself, and everyone here is friendly. I mean you get the odd one but where don’t you! I moved down from rural West Wales and everyone told me I’d struggle and they were wrong. In fact the grumpiest person around here is our Yorkshire postie. It’s almost like it’s nothing to do with where your from and just your personality 😁

(I was told I’d be picked on for being Welsh too, nope, not had a single negative remark in fact it’s very positive.)

Also I can see why people think Londoners are rude. They just don’t have time for anyone’s nonsense. They live in a city with lots of tourists (like me when I’m there) bumbling about and getting in the way have also learnt it’s easier and safer to avoid people when walking/travelling across the city. Saying that I always have chats to retail and hospitality when there and they are always really friendly.

I’ve been up to Liverpool, Manchester, Leeds and York and can’t say I found it any friendlier than down here. Friendly yes but friendlier, no.

Born and raised on the South coast. You are right, down South we don't seem to have pride in our heritage. It's just where we are from. I agree about London but know many people who wouldn't live anywhere else in the world. Personally I only go when I have to. Under duress normally! My in laws are from Newcastle and after 20 years still mimic my accent when I talk, openly tell me I won't want to go with them when they are going out and tell me how badly I dress. I wouldn't dream of saying these things to someone else. I don't mind being teased but the manner in which it's said isn't teasing. This isn't just my in-laws btw. It's their friends and our extended family.

There’s a lot of anti-London stereotypes. I live in London and I think it’s pretty friendly in the main - and I’m a Northerner.

As a born Londoner I find the rude people in London are visitors or have moved here & think I'm in the big smoke I need to be tough or something.

There’s a lot of anti-London stereotypes

Yep & not generally based on born & raised Londoners

Well, I live in London and it’s super-friendly. I don’t know what you’re on about - “it does something to your soul.” Everyone is bending over backwards to help out neighbours, etc. We have a street Whattsapp. If anyone needs anything - they’d will be about ten offers of help in an instant. Nobody is unpleasant or weird. The elderly were looked after during Covid. The whole community is like this. People are more reserved than in the North, possibly yes, in the sense that you don’t just start randomly chatting to people on buses whether they want you to or not. But I think this is a good thing. Hardly anyone was born here which is the best thing because nobody assumes that type of parochial - “this is how war are in these parts” attitude. I can’t bear that’s

The “we all chat in the buses,” thing, can come across as quite tiring and slightly obtuse (in my opinion) in places like Liverpool. Here in London, it is friendly in a more respectful way - that’s how I’d describe it. People are refined and polite on the whole and don’t assume it’s ok to get in someone’s face at any given moment. It’s not verbal diahorrea, but a genuine friendliness and willingness to help. I don’t buy all this, “I’m so funny me, real salt of the earth me - look I talk to anyone all the time and they love it, they do.”

I’m a northerner who moved down south ten years ago, and I’ve always found everyone very friendly and chatty. People sometimes ask me if I find people here standoffish compared to up north and seem surprised when I say no!

Londoner here, outside London (and to be fair the home Counties) everything just takes soooo long.

The stereotype was started many years ago when people lived and died where they were born.
People move around the country, and the world now, so I don’t think it’s relevant.

And re accents - in fact the only person who teases me about my northern accent is my husband and as he’s got quite a West Country burr, I just tease him right back.

and yes friendly and tight knit communoties but outside of that keep yourself to yourself (no eye contact on the tube, keep moving on the escalators, stand on the left type of thing) Londoners walk quickly too.

Hardly anyone was born here which is the best thing because nobody assumes that type of parochial - “this is how war are in these parts” attitude. I can’t bear that’s

I hate parochialism but millions are born in London particularly 2nd gen immigrants like myself. The idea that people aren't born here & have family here is why you often see the "locals priced out of Cornwall it X, X" but rarely London. And one reason why councils are able to move "poorer" people outside of London with little press attention.

Not really. We definitely like gravy in Yorkshire.

saywhatn - yes I understand what you’re saying. I’ve no idea how young people would get in the property ladder around here - unless they have a lot of financial help. It’s the sort of area families in their early 30s tend to move to with young kids because it’s green and near the river and quite safe, etc, but still central. I realise not all of London is like this. Mind you, I went back to an area we used to live in (Bethnal Green / London Fields way) and the flat we sold there 25 years ago is worth ten times that now! The place has gentrified out of all recognition. I could my believe it - such a different community, layered in top of those who would have been born there.

I think it's a load of bollocks. Culturally different, yes, but not rude.

I'm from SE and my neighbours were the LOVELIEST people ever, bent over backwards to help. I live in NI now and people are nice here too but I think lots of the chattiness actually comes from nosiness rather than friendliness (locals have told me this themselves!) When we first moved the long conversations at the till at Tesco were novel and now I can find it a bit of a pain when I'm in a rush I also don't think being chatty is necessarily always indicative of a nicer person. My DH is introverted and shy but the kindest person I know!

I lived in London for a couple of years and really enjoyed it. I don't think Londoners are rude - if you pass hundreds/thousands of people you may never see again on your commute it's just not feasible to chat to every one of them, and you're going somewhere. You can't really compare it to wandering to the shop to get milk or a dog walk. My sister lives in a village-like area in North East London and it's super friendly, whereas I lived in central where tourists might go and experience a more rushed version of London.

@saywhatn

As a born Londoner I find the rude people in London are visitors or have moved here & think I'm in the big smoke I need to be tough or something.

This. I've generally found the rude and snobby people are those that have moved to london and think they are something now because they live there.

Most people born and raised in london aren't like that ime, being a born and raised londoner.

Personally found Londoners are far more affable when you have young children. Don’t think they’re rude at all, just get fed up with tourists bumbling around taking selfies when they’re trying to get to work.

I’m from the north and moved the the south east… I found people not “rude”, but much less friendly that in the north.
This is only the case with strangers when I was out and about at shops etc. Colleagues were friendly.
It’s probably different in small villages etc. Maybe the south west is more friendly.

@sommerso we were fortunate to have help but lots of areas from my youth have changed a lot.

I have lived in Manchester, Leeds, Dublin and London. All friendly cities with great folk. Cannot bear the London stereotype of 'no time for chat etc'. I just don't buy it. People are just as polite here as anywhere else in my opinion. Yes, they might be slower to 'chat' with strangers and perhaps it feels a bit less natural / usual than in other cities - but it's always reciprocated in my experience (and welcomed). I love London and the people here.

I have lived and visited all over the country, from Scotland to the very tip of the far west.

I have found that the "unfriendliness" is a Home Counties thing, radiating out from London. People are GENERALLY less willing to chat and help you out in that part of the UK. We lived in Reading for a while and I found it very very difficult to get to know people. But we found people much more chatty and laid back in the south west - Dorset, Devon, Cornwall especially.

Now we're in Glasgow and everyone talks to everyone else, all the time.

Yes I agree it’s a load of crap that stereotype. I’m always baffled by the threads too, ‘northerners are so friendly unlike you southerners’. I’m from the south coast and people here are very friendly. Everyone says hi to each other and I often have conversations with strangers in the street, shops, cafes etc. Particularly if I’m with my toddler dc. If ever I’m feeling lonely I just go for a walk as I know someone will talk to me!
I’ve also spent a lot of time and have family in London, and always found the locals very friendly too.

if the definition of "Northern Friendliness" is a stranger plonking themselves down next to you on public transport, when there are plenty of empty seats available, and then interrogating for the next 1/2 hour, then they can keep it.

I've never lived in London but I have relatives there so I've visited quite often. I've always found people really helpful. Help with prams on the tube, directions and all kinds of things.