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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder if the flowers arrived?

26 replies

AlexaShutUp · 31/07/2021 13:29

One of my team wfh. She mentioned that it was her 60th birthday just over a week ago, so I arranged to send some letterbox flowers on behalf of the team, to be delivered on the day,
with a message saying happy birthday etc. Clearly marked as being from the office.

She has been off on leave but definitely not away from home. She hasn't said anything about the flowers, and I wasn't surprised because she wasn't working so didn't expect to hear from her, but she has since emailed me about a couple of other fairly inconsequential things without any acknowledgement of the flowers.

AIBU to worry that they never arrived? I don't expect effusive thank yous, but wouldn't most people normally acknowledge something like this? The flowers weren't cheap and I paid for them out of my personal account, so if they didn't actually arrive, I would like a refund! But I can't ask, so I'm just left wondering...

AIBU to suspect that they never arrived, or would it be quite normal for people to say nothing in this situation?

OP posts:
MagicMatilda · 31/07/2021 13:39

Can you check with the company you ordered them from? They might have a proof of delivery

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 31/07/2021 13:40

I think this is the problem with lots of online stuff. I’ve had to get loads of birthday presents online and sometimes they say they’ve been delivered, but you don’t hear from the recipient, so you can’t really tell.

If someone sends something, I acknowledge it straight away and that’s what I expect others to do, but they don’t. Certainly, you need to know whether they were delivered or not.

Could you ask if her birthday was a good one and if she liked the flowers?

Original poster
AlexaShutUp · 31/07/2021 13:41

@MagicMatilda

Can you check with the company you ordered them from? They might have a proof of delivery
Not sure, because I think letterbox flowers are just posted through the letterbox, aren't they, so I doubt that they can prove anything. I guess I could ring up and ask though...
OP posts:
Planttrees · 31/07/2021 13:42

Why are people so rude. I find it so frustrating when people don't acknowledge that you have sent flowers. Again I don't expect much but a quick thanks would be appreciated so I know they have arrived.

Original poster
AlexaShutUp · 31/07/2021 13:42

@Foxyloxy1plus1

I think this is the problem with lots of online stuff. I’ve had to get loads of birthday presents online and sometimes they say they’ve been delivered, but you don’t hear from the recipient, so you can’t really tell.

If someone sends something, I acknowledge it straight away and that’s what I expect others to do, but they don’t. Certainly, you need to know whether they were delivered or not.

Could you ask if her birthday was a good one and if she liked the flowers?

Maybe I'll just ask her about her birthday and hope that it triggers her memory! Don't want to ask her directly about the flowers as I'd be really embarrassed in that situation if I had forgotten to acknowledge them.
OP posts:
Original poster
AlexaShutUp · 31/07/2021 13:44

@Planttrees

Why are people so rude. I find it so frustrating when people don't acknowledge that you have sent flowers. Again I don't expect much but a quick thanks would be appreciated so I know they have arrived.
This is why I'm wondering if they actually arrived - she doesn't seem the type to be rude at all, so I just wondered if my expectation of some acknowledgement might be a bit unreasonable.
OP posts:
Twillow · 31/07/2021 13:44

It may be a bit late, but what don't you just message her with 'Hope you got the flowers we sent you and had a nice birthday'

Maggiesfarm · 31/07/2021 13:45

@MagicMatilda

Can you check with the company you ordered them from? They might have a proof of delivery
I would do that. They probably did arrive and she will thank you but maybe has been busy celebrating - and has lots of 'thank you' notes to write.

It probably doesn't seem that long to her.

TakeYourFinalPosition · 31/07/2021 14:03

Where did you order from? I use Bloom & Wild who do letterbox flowers but they are all tracked.

I’d guess they have arrived and she’s forgotten to mention them, but it’s worth checking just incase.

Original poster
AlexaShutUp · 31/07/2021 14:06

Thanks @TakeYourFinalPosition. It was Bloom and Wild that I used, so it's helpful to know that they're tracked. I'll check with them!

Thanks all!

OP posts:
TheSunShinesBrighter · 31/07/2021 14:08

Ask her about them. ‘Did the flowers arrive on your B’day X?’ Nothing wrong with that.

ggoodger · 31/07/2021 14:09

Is it possible that the note inside was misplaced? I've sent flowers before and the note wasn't included, so the recipient didn't know who to thank.

I ended up saying something along the lines of "Just wondered if you had received anything from us lately?"

Original poster
AlexaShutUp · 31/07/2021 14:10

Have just checked the tracking option that I hadn't previously noticed. They were delivered, so I'm guessing she has just been busy. Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
AlexaShutUp · 31/07/2021 14:10

@ggoodger

Is it possible that the note inside was misplaced? I've sent flowers before and the note wasn't included, so the recipient didn't know who to thank.

I ended up saying something along the lines of "Just wondered if you had received anything from us lately?"

Confused Hadn't thought of that...
OP posts:
Chocoqueen · 31/07/2021 14:24

@AlexaShutUp

Thanks *@TakeYourFinalPosition*. It was Bloom and Wild that I used, so it's helpful to know that they're tracked. I'll check with them!

Thanks all!

I would also check with the recipient - I sent some flowers through B&W to my nan last year, website said delivered but I didn't hear anything and my nan would always acknowledge on the same day either by calling or asking my aunt (who she sees daily) to text me. So I called the next day to check... turned out the postman hadn't put the clearly marked letterbox flowers through the letterbox but left them outside the front door (which they never use) and didn't ring the bell... 🙄
Maggiesfarm · 31/07/2021 14:31

I thought that would be the case.

Don't ask her about it, she will almost certainly thank you.

Crunchymum · 31/07/2021 14:43

I managed to send a thank you to my team when they had flowers delivered after my mum's sudden death. I'd like to think that had they been received, with the note, your colleague would have thanked someone?

MindyStClaire · 31/07/2021 15:00

Might she have thanked someone else on the team and they didn't pass the message on?

Andylion · 31/07/2021 15:39

She hasn't said anything about the flowers, and I wasn't surprised because she wasn't working so didn't expect to hear from her, but she has since emailed me about a couple of other fairly inconsequential things without any acknowledgement of the flowers.

Is it possible that she doesn't know who they are from and, thinking they were from you, emailed you about inconsequential things, hoping you would ask about them?

Palavah · 31/07/2021 15:42

Just ask her!

saraclara · 31/07/2021 15:49

Yes, just ask! Ask if she had a nice birthday, and if the flowers arrived okay.

It's fairer to her, if you ask. Because otherwise you'll always have at the back of your mind that she's impolite or ungrateful. When actually she might never have received them. I'd hate for someone to think that of me, rather than not ask because they think it's awkward.

Woodmarsh · 31/07/2021 17:06

Def ask, I had flowers from OH a few weeks ago, he rarely buys me flowers so assumed they were from a friend. There was supposed to be a note in and it was missing

MoonlightWanderer · 31/07/2021 17:14

@TheSunShinesBrighter

Ask her about them. ‘Did the flowers arrive on your B’day X?’ Nothing wrong with that.
i agree! Why dance around the issue? It isn't rude to ask. It's a perfectly normal question.
Twitchynose · 31/07/2021 17:32

I sent a colleague who was having a bad time some flowers. Knew they were delivered as had a photo of them at her feet. Didn’t get a thanks from her which surprised me as she’s normally the sort of person that would.
I eventually asked another colleague if the person had mentioned to them getting a gift without saying anything more. Turned out there was no note in it and she had been posting on SM asking who had sent them!

Daphnise · 31/07/2021 17:38

Those flowers can be delivered to neighbours, and if so it depends on how quickly the intended recipient knocks for them- and, say, if they are ill they won't be doing that!

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