To kill my neighbours?

[CanYouNOTf]

Light-hearted... Maybe.

Our baby has decided that sleep is an unnecessary part of existence recently and I am exhausted.

So DH said on Saturday he'd take him early morning and I could sleep until my heart's content. Blissful.

Except about 20 minutes into my sleep this morning, my neighbours have started BANGING (They are doing some form of DIY, don't be filthy) and it sounds like it's actually in my bedroom.

I could cry.

Accept this is just part of living near other people or bury them under my patio?

I won't advocate burying them under the patio😂 but I can empathise! I have a young baby too and if this happened to me I'd also be crying. Feeling quite grateful to live in a detached house tbh!

This is just sod's law .. I can guarantee that the same thing would happen to me! I've had a week off this week for the first time in ages (time off has been impossible thanks to covid) and my neighbours were having a wall knocked down in their living room .. so that was .. nice! I sympathise! (But burying someone is hard work, I wouldn't bother with that).

Tip - plant very rare plants over the bodies so it's illegal to disturb them 😉

(Pinched from somewhere else, not my own wit unfortunately)

But other than that it's an absolute shitter isn't it when that happens, best laid plans and all that, if you can't sleep can you have a long, hot bath or watch something you've wanted to but been unable to? Read a book? Something that represents time to relax even if you can't sleep.

Definitely patio them!

After a missed night's sleep recently my dad kindly offered to look after my kid for a bit and I gratefully looked forward to a few hours of blissful silence.

The house opposite powerwashed their drive for six hours. I feel your pain.

I won't advocate burying them under the patio

no, too much noise and effort.
I'd throw them in the nearest river.

Police cells are really noisy, I imagine prison cells are too. If you get caught you won't ever get a decent night's sleep again, so on the whole its probably not worth it.

You could frame them and send them to prison?
Win win.

My parents’ neighbours have been doing things to their house for the last 15 years. drilling, banging, drilling some more. It’s so bad that I can hear it when I’m on the phone to them.

My dad is not the most tolerant of people and he generally goes out at the weekends to avoid them.

It got so much that parents put their house on the market. Unfortunately lockdown kind of got in the way of that, but if they could move away from it they most definitely would.

My neighbours have a piano which they play, badly, from around 7 in the morning until about 9/10 at night. They’ve had it for about 5 years now and don’t seem to have moved on from the one song.

They also row frequently, and on a more serious note I am positive that I heard him harming his child a couple of months ago (I posted about that on here at the time.) I reported them to the police and SS, and interestingly they’ve been really quiet since then, so I’m hoping someone went round there and had a word.

Sorry, I realise this thread was meant to be lighthearted.

Well they are probably thinking "since that baby's woken us up, we may as well start the renovations we've been planning..."

Sorry, OP it's truly shit. Tell your dh today didnt count and to give it another go tomorrow.

YADNBU

Especially if you the banging was before 9am that's no joke but obscene and worthy of a call to environmental health... Alternatively never ever make any effort to keep DC quiet in the future and let them suffer all forms of noise until he leaves home after the age of 18 as payback!

Go round there now and boff them on the head with whatever banging tool they are using
Then go home and eat cakes

I can empathise but they might well be tired of the sleepless nights too.

Whilst I sympathise they are probably only awake and getting on with their day because your baby woke them up and they can’t get a lie in.

My neighbours SHOUT, at each other and their yappy dogs. When their daughter and her kids visit they all SHOUT and one child SCREAMS.

But all that is tolerable to the woman opposite who pass ags all over FB about "people" that:

Have barking dogs
Have dogs
Have cats
Mow their grass - will noone think of the BEES
Play music in their own houses
Use power tools
Have builders that use power tool
Power tools and the effect on BEES

I'm considering getting pigs. They are apparently very efficient at disposing of a human corpse.

@Hopdathelf

I can empathise but they might well be tired of the sleepless nights too.

True.

When my NDNs daughter was a baby, they placed her cot alongside the party wall. (In fairness, they didn't really have a lot of choice due the layout of the houses, I couldn't move my bed without removing a built-in wardrobe.)

They used the "cry it out" approach and she would cry for 40-50 minutes at a time during the night, sometimes 3 or 4 times, and I was coming close to committing infanticide.

My thoughts were so dark at times that I contemplated reporting myself to social services.

That daughter must be mid-20s now and has a baby of her own. I hope it keeps her awake, all night, every night.

Last year I wanted to bury my neighbours under the patio. The one that they were laying, when I was try to sleep after a night shift.

Patio!!!! I feel your pain.

We despise our neighbours for their constant ASBO behaviour (grown men playing rave music so loud you can’t hear anything else no matter where you are, smoking weed in the heights of summer with our windows open, shouting down the phone in the garden at night etc) and on the first day of my maternity leave they started having their kitchen redone. This continued for 4 weeks.
Never come so close to murder than when I’d had 4 hours sleep across 2 days and hit the dreaded day 3 postpartum and desperately needed a nap to be woken up by drilling so loud it sounded like it was in the bed with me.

Bury the b*staffs and be done with it.

Ours are on holiday this week. First time this year, I've got the back door open, windows open and there is SILENCE. I could cry I'm so happy.

They built a party hut in their garden during lockdown, so most weeknights and all weekend they are "entertaining" in their outdoor bar...... complete with music (they love Queen at full blast), party lighting and loud guffaws. And if we're really lucky, their dogs are out barking to accompany it I was actually looking at it last night from the upstairs window thinking a giant firework aimed right at it could take it out in one fell hit...........

@spinningspaniels I read a thread earlier where someone's neighbours had loud parties til 4am. She started something noisy at 8am. I can't remember if it was pan pipes for lovers played at full blast against the shared wall, or mowing lawn. The parties quietened down.

@LakieLady doing the silent, no-breathing hysterical laugh at your comment and nothing on MN makes me laugh 🤣

I too hope her baby never sleeps, and your nights have been much more peaceful since!

Another vote for patio, it's the only option.

Mine are so inconsiderate, builders started the long-ongoing work on the new garden room (shed with windows) at 6.45am yesterday. Drill drill drill, bang bang bang. Murderous thoughts weren't far from mind

Assume this is their revenge for your crying baby

Pigs are a far more efficient way of body disposal

My neighbours have bought a sex pond (hot tub), which they have thoughtfully placed almost below my bedroom window because their decking is disintegrating and the rest of the garden is a shithole. It hums 24/7 and I can hear it in my bedroom. They had sex in it at 11:30pm on Sunday night and this evening have been in there from 6pm to just now; if they go back out again tonight I will have to say something because the rumbling was driving me insane. I hate them.