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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

...that my optician seemed to think it acceptable to reduce me to tears this morning?

36 replies

Weegle · 27/11/2007 19:53

Or am I just being oversensitive?

I hadn't been for 3 years. In those 3 years I have moved house, had an incredibly difficult, mostly bed ridden pregnancy, spent a year with agonsing pain post childbirth before being diagnosed with a lifelong chronic condition which is only just showing any response to drugs and pain relief (hence I felt up to making an opticians appointment).

He told me off for leaving it 3 years. He told me because I am on steroids and my condition I am at risk of losing my sight. He told me off for not buying my contacts from him but from the internet (they are cheaper). He told me off because I couldn't remember my mum's eye sight history. Then, he asked if I had my lense case. Admittedly it could have done with a clean and I said so. Every night when I go to bed I am in agony - my DH frequently has to help me, cleaning my lense case is not often top of the agenda. But I accept they are MY eyes, MY responsibility and I should try harder - I said this to him. By now I was crying. At which point he got out a poster with about 10 pictures of eyes with different infections and pointed at each of them in turn saying "this could happen to you, you will go blind". I said "I get your point you don't need to carry on". But he carried on making me more and more upset. Why the hell I didn't just up and leave is beyond me. He also said "49 people a year go blind because of eye infections - IF you read the paper you'd know that" - how does he know whether I read the freakin paper or not?! I am so wound up. I KNOW I need to take better care of my eyes but I really don't think he should have treated me like that. AIBU?

OP posts:

Kewcumber · 27/11/2007 19:54

go to a different optician in future

BritTex · 27/11/2007 20:03

Thats just horrible. Was he trying to encourage you to go back to him . I'd run a mile and go somewhere else.

Tiggerish · 27/11/2007 20:03

Weegle, that sounds horrendous. Maybe he needed to make the point, but he should have done it more sensitively and stopped when he saw you getting upset. I would complain - does he work for a company/chain?

Original poster

Weegle · 27/11/2007 20:05

no he's independent so no one I can complain to except spreading word of mouth. I have to go back for the test lenses but once I know wat is best I will order them online again, his "pep talk" didn't work on that score.

OP posts:

scattyspice · 27/11/2007 20:08

He sounds a bit up his own arse to me.

woodenchair · 27/11/2007 20:08

I'm surprised he's still got a business. Sounds like a horrible person, even if he was having a bad he should have had enough empathy to shut up when you started crying!

theUrbanDryad · 27/11/2007 20:10

Weegle - you can complain to the General Optical Council (info here. put what happened in writing NOW while it's fresh in your mind. What he did was totally unprofessional and he could be struck off.

in the meantime, would you consider wearing specs or daily disposable lenses if you find cleaning your lens case a struggle? what sort of lenses do you wear at the moment?

Columbia · 27/11/2007 20:11

Sounds like he was angry and frustrated abut something completely different, and took it all out on you which was utterly ridiculous and unfair of him. What a nasty thing to do.

no, yanbu at all. I hope you feel better tonight, must have been awful

Pennies · 27/11/2007 20:12

3 years? God I've not had mine done for over 7 years! And before that it was... over 20 years!

elliemac · 27/11/2007 20:13

Dick!!!

Pennies · 27/11/2007 20:13

YANBU though. He sounds like a bully.

DumbledoresGirl · 27/11/2007 20:15

Good grief, I have never known any appointment with the optician reduce me to tears, but reading your account, it is quite understandable why you were so affected. What a prick!

If it helps any, I am always being told off by opticians for failing to care for my lenses properly, for wearing hard lenses (though I have now transferred to gas permeable but only after years of nagging...) for not having a spare pair of lenses, for not having a pair of glasses...the list goes on.

Yet my eyes are always clean and healthy and show no ill-effects of my so-called abuse. I still smile to remember the optician who went on and on at me in total shock because I had no glasses to wear in the event that I caught an eye infection and was not able to wear my lenses. I said it hadn't happened in over 20 years of wearing lenses, why should I worry about it? In the end though, I did get glasses, just to stop the nagging.

You poor thing. If I were you, I would take my custom elsewhere.

Original poster

Weegle · 27/11/2007 20:16

Thanks everyone - you've all made me feel so much better.

UrbanDryad - that's a really good idea about daily disposables, I hadn't thought of that - I have to have toric lenses for astigmatism, can you get them in daily dispos - then I could do a mix of lenses when out and glasses at home.

OP posts:

Elasticwoman · 27/11/2007 20:19

I wear lenses and my lens case is not exactly pristine.

I've left it a couple of years between appointments in the past when I was at the baby stage. I've never been treated like that by any optician.

It's not his job to tell you off for what you have or haven't done, but to suggest the best way forward. Sounds like this optician needs some urgent re-training.

theUrbanDryad · 27/11/2007 20:21

Weegle - yes, i think so, although they're more expensive. you could get monthly disposables and use a peroxide cleaning solution to soak them, which also cleanses the case. pop to a chain like Specsavers or Vision Express, they tend to use locum optoms who are much nicer, because if they're not they know they won't get the work!

LittleBella · 27/11/2007 20:25

Tell him that since opticians opted out of the NHS, they no longer have the right to act like demi gods; they can either have the respect of being part of a socialised health system or filthy lucre. They've chosen filthy lucre, so you'll be taking your custom to a more customer-focused enterprise.

callmeovercautious · 27/11/2007 20:30

You can get them now. Only a recent thing though.

So sorry he was so insensitive. Please write and complain to him and the link above. He should know how poor his manner is, it may make him think twice in future.

TheStepfordChav · 27/11/2007 20:43

He obviously doesn't know what you've been through, and went a bit OTT, but it does sound as if he was trying to shock you into taking more care. He must've seen lots of nasty cases (as my optician told me) and does not want you to end up like that because of what he perceives to be laziness.

A quick swill round the lens case every night with hot water from the kettle does wonders!

Original poster

Weegle · 27/11/2007 20:49

yes I'm sure it does, and I should do it - it would have to be I remember to bring in down in the morning as I only do the stairs twice a day. I don't think he quite got what a day in my life is like at all, but then I guess I don't expect anyone to!

OP posts:

colditz · 27/11/2007 20:52

I go to specsavers, all the opticians are lovely. Courteous and friendly, and none of them smell.

unknownrebelbang · 27/11/2007 21:03

YANBU. A dentist once reduced me to tears.

unknownrebelbang · 27/11/2007 21:04

not sure that that's relevant, lol.

Original poster

Weegle · 27/11/2007 21:16

Makes me feel better for not just being pathetic! I was so angry at myself for not holding it together! Thanks everyone, I must go to bed now - I promise I'll clean my lense case!

OP posts:

TheStepfordChav · 27/11/2007 21:20

How about - take the kettle up with you & bring it down in the morning?!

LittleBella · 27/11/2007 21:44

I've been told by my optician that you mustn't use water to wash your case, only saline

This is because there is some bacteria or other in water (which is also why you mustn't wear them swimming) which can't be killed by the cleaning solution.

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