My SO and I both work in similar jobs, we bring in the same income which is more or less all pooled together. We use this money for almost all of our personal and combined expenses. Eg I want a new jacket- communal pot, got to pay the water bill - also communal pot. Partner goes for a few drinks after work - also communal pot. We are both fine with this financial arrangement.
We used to share the house jobs 50/50. As our jobs demand almost identical hours, we both have the same amount of time off to do things like cooking, cleaning or washing. We both have expectations that we will both do an equal share. This arrangement seems also to work well.
We have had a child in the last 3 weeks and things have changed a lot.
In my mind, we now have 3 sets of ‘work’ the house jobs, the financial earning and now, looking after the kid.
As she is bfing, she has taken on most of the ‘child responsibilities’. She is no longer contributing to the financial pot, and because she has found bfing very demanding, has taken a ‘laise fair’ attitude to contributing to the housework.
So currently, I do all the housework, and earn all the money, but do no childcare responsibilities. We both seem pretty content so it must suit us fine. It also means I am still able to keep up my hobbies in the evenings I like to do.
However, I told a friend at the pub about this, and they thought it was a peculiar arrangement and I am getting a ‘bad deal’ out of this. I pointed out I was in fact at the pub while she was looking after our child and personally thought it was quite a good deal. Another friend at the same sitting, conversely, suggested it was completely unfair to her to ask her to do that. But I explained she seemed happy with it. Neither of these lads have kids though so they can’t really know, I guess.
As I said, it seems to work for us, but really interested in how other people share work like this in their households with kids, especially for ones with mums that choose not to work.