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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU not to go to hen do?

13 replies

Penguin24 · 30/07/2021 23:02

My partner’s cousin is getting married in November and her close friends are arranging her hen do. For context, I have met her a few times at family gatherings but we would never talk otherwise and are not close. I know two other people invited (family members) who I don’t particularly gel with but no issues.
It is going to be two nights and costs £340. That includes some activities but not food or alcohol.
I really don’t want to go. I think it’s too much money for a weekend with people I don’t know well, doing things I wouldn’t choose to do. I know that she would like me to go (she has mentioned to my partner) and I don’t want to disappoint her.
But AIBU to not go?

OP posts:
bluejelly · 30/07/2021 23:03

YANBU. Crazy money for a weekend with someone you're not even v close to

Saidtoomuch · 30/07/2021 23:06

Its nice of them to invite you, but just a thanks but no thanks would do. Just tell them it isn't your thing but you wish them a good weekend. Don't beat around the bush and say you'll let them know, you're thought better of if you are honest.

EmeraldShamrock · 30/07/2021 23:06

Say no thank you. I'm sure they won't mind the invite was probably sent to include you, it'd be rude if they didn't ask.
It is a lot of money too.

PizzaPiePizzaPie · 30/07/2021 23:08

Often the prices are linked to a certain number going so people can be keen to make people go. I’d just say I was busy, silly money.

Megan2018 · 30/07/2021 23:09

God no, I wouldn’t go and wouldn’t hesitate to say No.
I endured a few hen dos when I was younger but these days I don’t pretend and politely decline.

Janaih · 30/07/2021 23:13

Yanbu. I haven't been to any of my close friends or families hen dos, because they are not my idea of fun. It's an invitation, not a summons as they say!
I'd be very wary of someone you know vaguely being keen for you to go. Run away!

BackforGood · 30/07/2021 23:17

Good grief, I wouldn't go on that kind of expensive hen do even if it were someone close.

I wouldn't go to any hen do for the cousin of my partner that I hadn't formed a close relationship with other than that polite, 'friendly enough when meet at a family occasion' type of level.

Of course YANBU.
Not sure why this is even a question tbh.

Queenoftheashes · 30/07/2021 23:39

Ha no way would I go on that

AnneLovesGilbert · 30/07/2021 23:42

Ooh no, just decline.

Aquamarine1029 · 30/07/2021 23:43

Of course don't go.

CarnationCat · 30/07/2021 23:44

That's a lot of money when you are not close with this person. I wouldn't go.

Undersnatch · 30/07/2021 23:48

No way! Hate hen dos at the best of times when it’s someone I love dearly!

cakewench · 30/07/2021 23:52

Oh absolutely not. I’d spend it for a good friend or family member I genuinely got on with, but I can’t imagine many worse weekend trips than a forced fun hen do with people I just about tolerate.

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