AIBU to give up Online Dating after 2 days

[Minutus]

I am 40s, divorced and don’t get the chance to meet many men in real life so I thought I would give online dating a go. Not sure if I’ve been unlucky but so far I’ve had messages from men looking for sex because they are in ‘sexless’ marriages, men just asking for photos, one man I had a nice conversation with who then blocked me because I didn’t want to share my number with him yet (after. half an hour). Am I just wasting my time? I am not even fussy, my main requirement is someone kind and caring.

No dont give up just yet it's only been 2 days give it 2 months

I did OLD 4 yrs ago and found it quite good. Sure, there are time wasters and sex pests out there but I had quite a lot of 1st dates. Now, however, the pickings are slim and not even any irons. I've stopped checking obsessing so much and will keep my profile open and be patient.

What apps are you using?
Some are better than others I think in terms of being able to filter out the less appealing.

Match, plenty of fish. I also had someone old enough to be my father message to say ‘what a lovely profile’.

*Match, plenty of fish. I also had someone old enough to be my father message to say ‘what a lovely profile"

The nerve of the man! How very dare he say something so abhorrent

Grow a thicker skin, don't be so judgemental, remember a date doesn't mean you owe him anything and above all stay safe. You'll have a blast.

@Minutus

Match, plenty of fish. I also had someone old enough to be my father message to say ‘what a lovely profile’.

Lol for some reason I seem to get quite a few 30+ years older than me opening with an invitation to take me on a cruise.

No, don’t give up, it’s great the knobs are showing their colours early on so you don’t waste your time.

I found those sites full of time wasters - Bumble was the best one I found - current with a lovely man I met on there, so it can work 😊

I think the better apps are those that you have to match with first before any messages can be exchanged (bumble, tinder), slower perhaps, but hopefully filters out people you definitely don't want to hear from.

As a pp said thick skins are required. There have also been a few posts recently about red flags for old and dating in general, which is probably worth a read. Keep your standards high!

@Minutus

I am 40s, divorced and don’t get the chance to meet many men in real life so I thought I would give online dating a go. Not sure if I’ve been unlucky but so far I’ve had messages from men looking for sex because they are in ‘sexless’ marriages, men just asking for photos, one man I had a nice conversation with who then blocked me because I didn’t want to share my number with him yet (after. half an hour). Am I just wasting my time? I am not even fussy, my main requirement is someone kind and caring.

Hi Op

I've had a profile open for a while but not actively engaged with anything.

I decided to properly give it a go yesterday and replied to a nice sounding guy.

I know there are lots of threads but do you want to start a little support group to get through it together? (And build some resilience with the knobs on there- hopefully not literally in really hoping to avoid the unsolicited dick pics!)

When you first join you get an influx of nutters because they've all been on there ages and go after any "fresh meat".

once that lot have messaged you it slows down and the more normal ones come forward.

The most desirable men aren't refreshing their search every 5 seconds because they're out doings things with friends and family so it takes a bit more time.

@crabbingbucket - you are absolutely right! That's been my experience also and I'm guilty of hitting 'like' a bit too often in the beginning.

I’m in a similar position OP, it’s hard work! OLD has always been a minefield but COVID seems to have made it worse. It’s thoroughly depressing that people think it’s ok to behave like this, kindness and courtesy don’t seem to exist 🙄