To feel awkward I went to lunch?

[carnashuns]

Do you ever make a decision and then sort of cringe about it?

A while back, a friend of mine and myself were chatting away, and it turned out that my friend’s neighbour was a distant cousin of mine. The neighbour sent me an email to ask about some of my family and said it would be good to meet up one day.

I was bored, so sent her another email saying, alright I’ll take you up on it. She said, oh come over for some wine and I’ll make some sandwiches.

So off I went (having never met her!). When I got to the house, she said, oh my husband’s family is in town visiting us. So I ended up having lunch with a very distant cousin, and her husband’s family. It was a bit awkward but we had a fair amount in common actually, and the conversation flowed and had a nice glass of wine and some sarnies. I sort of enjoyed it, but felt out of place.

Now I’m thinking about it later, I just feel awkward having intruded? Even though they first suggested it.

I accidentally posted this in chat , sorry about that

I don't think you did anything wrong. Are you normally quite hard on yourself? Or just ruminating about the past? My brain likes to find things to beat myself up about if it gets the chance...

Just to say it's not clear what your Yuba/Yanbu refers to, so I wouldn't worry to much about what percentages 🙂

*too

You were invited. It seems to have been a socially fun gathering. So you're probably worrying about nothing.

Eh? What’s the issue?

No need to feel awkward. You were invited, you accepted and had a nice time. End of story!

What? She invited you, you didn't kick her door down. You're being really weird about this for no reason whatsoever.

Do you have social anxiety OP? I wouldn't think there was anything to be worried about here?

Well I guess, it was more that she didn’t invite me explicitly. She said that oh if you’re ever in town visiting your friend, do pop in to say hi. This was about two years ago.

So I emailed to say that I was actually in town at the moment, and saw if she still fancied a coffee. I’m usually social, but not great when everyone else knows each other, and then I’m the odd one out

Sounds fun!

Just appreciate the memory.

Stop over thinking.

Well I guess, it was more that she didn’t invite me explicitly.

Yes, she did. You emailed her to say you were in town and she invited you to come over. There's no issue here.

Maybe she was glad to be able to invite you, while she had other guests, as it would put less pressure on the two of you.

She invited you, you had a nice lunch. Yabu, there is nothing to cringe or feel awkward about.

What? I don't understand the issue at all.
She invited you, have you invited her back?

If she hadn't wanted to meet you she wouldn't have invited you. She could easily have said "Oh sorry I'm too busy at the moment" but she was obviously interested...forget about it.

Have you seen her since? Maybe invite her to yours, or offer to go out for lunch/dinner/a drink when you are next in her town? I don't think you did anything wrong, or have anything to feel awkward about.

This reminds me of those Very British Problems.

You were invited, You went. A good time was had by all..... ........ .......

So......?

To me it seems a rather nice and special thing to have done.

Synchronicity.

@spotcheck

This reminds me of those Very British Problems.

You were invited, You went. A good time was had by all..... ........ .......

So......?

Exactly. Don’t be hard on yourself.

I get it. You're worried you might have imposed. When you replied saying that actually you're in town right now, maybe they felt obligated to say yes to coming round.

I feel exactly the same about stuff. It's all unnecessary worrying though. They could have easily said what it shame it wouldn't fit right now because of xyz, but definitely next time. Unless you made it utterly miserable for everyone present (you didn't) then they'll have just been pleased to have met you and then never given it another moments thought. Honest.

Thank you for the reassurance! I’m glad that it’s just my social awkwardness making me doubt myself!

You’re being weird about this. It’s a non issues, she invited you round for lunch, you ate lunch and left, you didn’t do a dance in your underwear to S Club 7, did you?

It sounds like a lovely social occasion. As long as you thanked her for it and showed your appreciation, I don’t think there’s anything wrong.

That sounds lovely. If she hadnt wanted you to come she would have said she was really sorry but she had plans/guests that day. She invited you!

It sounds like classic over thinking to me. I do the same thing.