To ask if anyone else has this crap backwards thinking?

[TrixieThunder]

I don’t flinch at spending £30 on a takeaway but balk at the idea of spending the same money on a skirt (I could wear 100+ times). Why is this? I’ve had nights out that have cost me £100s but looking at anything I’ll actually get reuse out if I hold back and talk myself out of.

Why do I do it? And am I alone?

I think I am generally capable of seeing things from another’s perspective, but no I honestly cannot make any sense of that thinking at all.

You like short term gratification.

I'm the same but then I'm really crap with money!

Nope! If I like an article of clothing, it looks good on me and I can afford it, I buy it!

Have you always done this? I'm quite sure I have some crap backwards thinking on stuff but I can't actually think of any. So not really contributing much, sorry.

I understand where you are coming from.

I'm putting off buying a set of bedding at the moment because the £40-50 seems expensive, but yes, if we had friends over I would spend that on wine and food no problem at all.

I was going to say I don’t understand either but then again I’m the type of online shopper who wouldn’t consider spending say £15 with a £4.99 delivery charge but £19.99 with free delivery is fine

I have the same. It's taken me decade to start having the self convo to get rid of that thinking. It's basically with every purchase!
"But it's 45..."
"Yes, it is. You spent then day before yesterday on dinner"
"But... 45..."
"Shut up Schrodingers🙄 it will last you years ffs"
"Ok. But.. ok"

Oh god I’m exactly the same! I would find it really hard to spend £50-70 on a lovely piece of clothing but will happily spend that on a pretty average dinner out.
Or at the moment, I really need to replace my Olaplex products which will be £60. I’ve been putting it off for weeks as it seems like a lot of money (which I can easily afford) but I’ll happily spend £80 on a crappy Premier Inn to visit DPs friends next weekend who I have no interest in visiting.

I'm exactly the same and I don't know why. I hate buying clothes. I think it's because I'm overweight right now and don't like how I look so I just don't care about what I wear!

Because you (you specifically, not people in general - different people will feel completely differently on this) don't get as much pleasure from a new item of clothing as you do from a takeaway or a night out. You would get more use from the skirt, but that's not the same thing at all, and since it's all disposable income it's perfectly reasonable to spend it on what you actually want not what you think you should want.

Out of interest, did those who understand this come from poor backgrounds? My parents struggled with money and my mum I think was massively extravagant with ‘one offs’ but frugal with every day things like proper dinners (potatoes and waffles type thing was the norm).

I'm the same. I haven't bought new clothes for 5 years because I just think everything is too expensive OR is crap quality so not work the price even if it's cheap. I earn enough to buy some lovely clothes but I just can't bring myself to do it. Yet I'll buy DC all kinds of stuff

This thread has inspired me. There’s an incredible hotel I’ve been lusting after for ages. Over New Years they’re doing a 2 night package with meals, NYE party etc for the same price as what we spent on a crappy week long U.K. break a few months ago.

I’d decided it was too much to spend just on two nights but I know we’ll love it and that’s a better experience than spending 7 nights somewhere average where we don’t have a great time so I’m going to book

@Hardbackwriter

Because you (you specifically, not people in general - different people will feel completely differently on this) don't get as much pleasure from a new item of clothing as you do from a takeaway or a night out. You would get more use from the skirt, but that's not the same thing at all, and since it's all disposable income it's perfectly reasonable to spend it on what you actually want not what you think you should want.

I think that is a really good point - and also relates to being poor. That kind of ‘indulgent’ pleasure was a one off - owning something to use doesn’t give the same pleasure though functionally it will be more beneficial. My parents could afford to ‘indulge’ in a one-off pleasure so I’ve learnt it from them but it’s such a hard and shit mentality to break out off.

I think unless you love clothing and fashion then the meal out gives the more instant, more potent hit of fun and enjoyment rather than a skirt. I can be the same way sometimes. Or I go through phases, like I'll spend ages at the supermarket hunting out the best price per gram for dried lentils, avoid buying treats and the next night go to the corner shop and buy a bottle of wine and treats which would be loads less in the supermarket. We budget using YNAB so I'm very on top of my money but I still haven't unpicked the psychology of why some things are easy to spend on and others not.

It’s a class thing. Working classes seek and gain pleasure from instant gratification. The middle classes defer that gratification and plan and defer their gratification.

I grew up in poverty and only recently changed the cycle for my life.

I am the same. I feel as though I don’t deserve Things, but I will spend money on take away, meals out etc without a second thought.

You prefer to spend on experiences rather than stuff. This might be key to living in the moment and is to be admired. I don't see it as backwards thinking, you are prioritising enjoyment of life. Probably not a problem as long as you don't take it to extremes, eg. you have a roof over your head, and shoes.

@TrixieThunder

Out of interest, did those who understand this come from poor backgrounds? My parents struggled with money and my mum I think was massively extravagant with ‘one offs’ but frugal with every day things like proper dinners (potatoes and waffles type thing was the norm).

Not struggled and my parents were kind of opposite to this and very smart with money. I don't know where my brain decided to do this a crap 🤔

I am similar, but know why. The skirt is for me alone. The takeaway is for the whole family.

Unless I absolutely love it or it’s very cheap I resent spending money on clothes. I’m just not interested in them, so it’s like paying a bill. But an unnecessary bill.

I do also put off buying things I want because it feels extravagant (the olaplex example is me all over), but I think it’s because I know I can buy them at some point. I’m just putting off the expenditure. Food is different because I have to eat, and I’m happy to pay what I can to eat what I want. Same with material things I know I may not be able to buy again - the spendthrift definitely comes out on holiday and at one-off events.

I think it's easier because if you buy a takeaway your akao treating your partner and family. It nice to spend money on them but it's frivolous to spend it on yourself.

*you're also

I'm the other way, would pause before spending £40 on a takeaway but would happily spend £140 on a dress.

That's probably even more worrying (!)

I also do this, but I buy most of my clothes second hand so £30 plus per item is really expensive for me. Whereas I'd happily spend that on a decent bottle of wine. But the difference is that I can't buy wine (or food) second hand so I am economising on clothes shopping to fund my wine shopping IYSWIM.