Separated from DH earlier this year.
Generally been getting on ok, knew it was probably for the best, I was beginning to feel like the future was going to be an adventure, everything was going to be different but good etc.
But something has happened in the last two weeks and I need him here, DD needs him here. I can’t say what it is but it is very much nothing will ever be the same again and I don’t know how to get through this without him.
He does know it’s happening, it’s going to affect him too, and the last couple of times I’ve seen him he’s been unable to talk really because we’re all in shock. We have no control over whether this is going to be a good outcome or not. I’m numb and in limbo, there’s nothing I can do except try to survive it and pray for the best.
I don’t even want him to come home under the illusion that we’re back together (although we do both acknowledge we still love each other) but simply because DD needs her father, I need his help to get through the day and quite frankly I need my best friend to pick up some of the mental load.
But I also feel guilty about asking him to come back, he’s been doing what Ive been doing and trying to create a new life. I don’t want to create a situation that becomes more complicated, I’m not even sure he would come home, but can I ask? Or am I asking too much of him?
This whole year has been a mess.