I don’t know if I’m overthinking

[Momsytoboys1319]

This is the first time I’ve taken advice
My DH family were extremely close until 2018 when we had a falling out over a family business that was taken advantage of and we could’ve lost everything. I also fell pregnant in the same year with my 2nd child
Firstly my sister in law had a christening for her child the day before I had my 2nd (it was a planned inducement) and I was unable to attend but I had planned a gift and my mom took my older child so he was apart of the day
My husband and his brother ran a business and due to him getting drunk at the christening he called in sick and turned his phone off the day I gave birth prompting my husband to have hundreds of calls from his workforce whilst I was pushing
Now lots has happened from then but fast forward to this year we started to build bridges both my husband and I have had lots of counselling to put behind all the anger we felt from 2018 onwards.
Then it was my little boys birthday In July my sister in law and brother in law haven’t been to see him saying they are too busy we live 10 mins away from them
So my question is am I overthinking are they just too busy and I shouldn’t expect a birthday card or is this what should break the camels back and we should cut them off?

Why would you want people like that back in your life?

God, I’d be thrilled at people like that not wanting to spend any time with me. They sound ghastly.

Not helpful for you perhaps, why are you so keen for everyone to play happy families? I think ‘family’ means fuck all really, we’re not all the Mitchells. Why would you put yourself through stress trying to keep everyone together if those family members are arseholes anyway?

You don’t need to cut them off....just stop expecting anything of them (and don’t allow them to expect anything of you).

It’s so tricky
My family have been through a lot of heartache and I’ve lost a lot of family that it’s meant the ones left are extremely close I never would want my husband to feel cut off from his family so have tried time and time again to keep trying
The rest of his family are really close and we have been pushed out because of jealousy really the business ended and we went our separate ways but because I work our lifestyle didn’t really change where as theres has
I think too much has happened but I think I grieve it for my husband to loose his siblings who don’t care for him

I wouldn’t cut them off. Just leave them be and have little to no expectations. Don’t give more than you get.

Not all families are close sadly.

Be polite and that is all. Stop trying. Don't chase. Be there for them if they need you in a bad situation but that's all.

And I get angry about them hurting the boys
Why Would they not want a relationship with them? They are amazing in every way my one son is 8 so he was close until he was 5
My other son barely know them

Don’t force your husband’s relationship with his siblings because your family went through a lot. None of them care for any of you. Stop bothering.