Husband/ Friend relationship advice

[MeMyself00]

To cut a long story short. About a year ago at a small party, I was drunk (as was everyone) and I witnessed my husband with his hand down the front of my friends trousers whilst she was enjoying it. I caught them and they looked a bit startled and we left. The next day, whilst my hubby was still asleep and hungover I realised that I could not forgive him for this. We have three children and I realised at that moment I was going to have to make them live separately from their Dad, which broke my heart.

I moved joint money into my bank account. I spent nearly the whole day having an internal meltdown whilst looking after the kids. I could hardly function properly. I was wondering whether we’d have to sell the house, whether the kids would be able to go to the same school. I felt utterly betrayed by my husband and friend.

Late afternoon my husband eventually got up and out of bed after sleeping off his hangover. He spent a while looking on his phone and making food, speaking to the kids and generally acting normal. After a while he asked me what was wrong and I could not believe it.

I told him exactly what was wrong and he seemed shocked, he didn’t know what I was talking about. He remembered me coming into the room and getting angry but he thought my friend was dancing close to him and rubbing herself on him! He said he felt awkward and that she was being really drunk and silly.

I didn’t know whether to believe him.

The next day I spoke to my friend and she was also acting completely normal. She does not remember anything after a certain time at night. I did not mention to her about what I saw.

At the time my husband seemed genuine and I just tried to convince myself that I was drunk and made a mistake about what happened.

However it’s still nagging me. I don’t think there’s anything going on between them and if anything did happen it was a one off.

What the hell do I do? My husband and friend might by lying, they might not be. I don’t know what to believe.

I still feel betrayed but am expected just to move on when I have no idea what really happened and never will.

The fact that it's been a year and you are still thinking about it proves you know what you saw imo.

Did you see his hand going down her trousers? And her enjoying it?
Where they on their own, close up in a room together.

I think it's unlikely you would mistakenly think his hands were down her pants if they weren't, how would you mis-see that

A hand down pants is very different to a hand outside pants. The angle his hand would of been at inside her pants to be pleasuring her would be very different to her rubbing up against him.

They were sober enough to act awkwardly about you seeing. I reckon they communicated to agree to play dumb.

Is there any reason your husband and friend would have each other's numbers to exchange messages? Can you check whether she is a contact on his phone even if he has deleted messages? Also, you may have more luck catching them out if you bring it up face to face with your friend, as if it is something your husband has already admitted to. I think you should be prepared that this did happen and you may have to deal with the fallout x

This happened a year ago ??? What's been going on since then

OP, you were so certain of what you witnessed that the next day you decided you couldn’t forgive him. You even moved joint money into your account. You had full recall and could hardly function.

The trauma was great, so you opened yourself to their gaslighting and gave yourself permission to doubt your clarity.

You know the truth. You don’t have to hear them confess or find evidence on H’s phone. You can take action based on what saw with your own eyes and knew to be true in the immediate aftermath.

@Cocolapew

The fact that it's been a year and you are still thinking about it proves you know what you saw imo.

yes I agree ... 🌸