Nursery knee jerk reactions?

[lunepremiere79]

Our toddler gets sent home seemingly every other week, sometimes for valid reasons like high temperature, sometimes because she 'seems a bit quiet and lethargic, and not herself' or sometimes, like today, apparently she had 'continuous cough for 30 minutes and they asked us to urgently collect her and do a covid test. When we picked her up she wasnt coughing and hasn't coughed a single time since then it has now been 4 hours since she came back home and she is looking totally normal and full of beans. I dont know what to think.. is this normal reaction from nurseries these days or should they have waited longer to ascertain the cough was indeed continuous? I feel like they are constantly exaggerating and its having a huge knock on impact on us as its very disruptive, DJ and I work full time. I am thinking of changing nurseries at this point. Aibu?

My friend's son's nursery is like this. He hasn't done a full week (of the three and a half days he does there a week) in ten weeks. There's always something - slightly runny nappy, rosy cheeks (he's teething), runny nose which wasn't clear, etc. She, too, is getting extremely fed up of it as it's making her appear very unreliable at work. I'm not sure if all nurseries are being a bit OTT at the moment, in which case moving elsewhere might not solve the problem, or if moving might help but I'm with you that it is very annoying.

That's exactly it. Today I had to interrupt a presentation halfway through, as I thought there must have been something wrong as they sounded so urgent about her cough, but it turned out there was nothing at all to worry about. Would be interested to hear what other nurseries are like at the moment!

Well There was something to worry about - a coughing episode is going to cause alarm and you need to have her tested. They're completely right in calling you to collect her.

Hard to tell. Young kids pick up lots of horrible bugs. It's kind of got pushed back with covid and now we're seeing lots of kids with winter viruses in summer.

When my eldest was a baby the childminder sent him home for the slightest little thing. Including nappy rash once. When my youngest was at nursery they weren't as rigid, as long as he didn't have a rash or temperature, they would keep him.

I suppose with covid now, lots of places (including workplaces for adults) are less willing to accept pushing through with coughs and colds now incase it is covid. I suppose their hands are tied too. My DS school sent a letter just before the end of term saying cold symptoms can be covid now and they are reviewing their sickness and attendance rules now because of this.

My DS has only been sent home once in the last 2.
5 years. We've kept him off a couple times to be tested due to coughs but apart from that, nothing. He's had a runny nose for ages, if they sent him home for that he would never be there. I would find a new nursery.

Our nursery is not like this. They're independent, not part of a chain so I don't know if that means they are more flexible.

For example, if kid gets a temperature, step one they strip them down out of jumpers etc. and check again after 10 minutes. If it hasn't changed they'll ring us and ask for a PCR test as per government guidance - no problem. But if it has come down a bit but not all the way they'll ring and ask if they can give them some calpol. They'll then monitor for the rest of the day and call back with any concerns but we've never had a call back.

Their attitude is that if the kid does test positive you'll have to close the bubble - irrespective of if you send them home immediately or 30 minutes later. But they are better off trying to keep parents happy keeping the kid in nursery unless necessary. If it was covid, stripping them off would make no difference!

This is exactly why I sent DCs to a childminder, fortunately the ones I used exercised some logic and common sense, even during covid. A friend's son was sent home early from nursery pretty much every week for 6 months because of loose stools when it was a case of toddler diarrhoea as opposed to infective diarrhoea. Fortunately her employers were very understanding but the stress on her was massive until her DS was fully toilet trained.
Might be worth considering a childminder OP.

Strange, my son's nursery (he's almost 2) never has requested he go home since he has been there so just over a year. He's had a runny nose and coughs plenty of times that developed at nursery and they have just ignored it. I have been the one to have to keep him home on many occasion... I say move nursery's, I physically wouldn't be able to leave in the line of work I do now so it would be very inconvenient for me.

Our nursery is independent as well. Its annoying considering the eye watering amounts we pay for it in London that she is missing it so often. It's good to know that other nurseries exercise common sense. Its tempting to start looking for a new one, but obviously there is no guarantee they wont turn out exactly the same, unless of course this is something we can ask about beforehand?

Did the cough start during a mealtime? ....

No, apparently it was when she was lying down for a nap

It’s definitely not normal - our DD has been to nursery for the last 18 months (throughout the whole pandemic) and I think she has been sent home once when she got diarrhoea and sickness and they also rang us once to ask if we could try and get her a doctors appointment as she begun displaying symptoms of a non-covid illness which they thought warranted being seen by a doctor. I would look for a new nursery.

no this isn't normal and our nursery in London doesn't act like this at all.

Thanks all. It helps to have this as a sense check. I think we'll start looking for other options even though it's not ideal and would be disruptive for dd

I wouldn’t move her just for this, although I would be requesting a meeting with the nursery manager to go through their sickness policy properly.

It’s not normal. I have had to collect dd loads, but that’s because she catches everything going at least 8 times it seems! But her nursery does exercise some logic rather than calling me every time.

@Lifeonashoestring

Our nursery is not like this. They're independent, not part of a chain so I don't know if that means they are more flexible.

For example, if kid gets a temperature, step one they strip them down out of jumpers etc. and check again after 10 minutes. If it hasn't changed they'll ring us and ask for a PCR test as per government guidance - no problem. But if it has come down a bit but not all the way they'll ring and ask if they can give them some calpol. They'll then monitor for the rest of the day and call back with any concerns but we've never had a call back.

Their attitude is that if the kid does test positive you'll have to close the bubble - irrespective of if you send them home immediately or 30 minutes later. But they are better off trying to keep parents happy keeping the kid in nursery unless necessary. If it was covid, stripping them off would make no difference!

This is so sensible! If the bubble members have been exposed anyway then spending another hour trying to assess the situation before jumping to conclusions.

A continuous cough is one that persists not one episode of coughing. She may have swallowed a bug like I did on a run yday and spent the next 20 minutes coughing on and off!

There’s sensible of course, be sensible but a runny nose? One session of coughing. No that’s not sensible, they’ll go out of business with that approach, there’ll never be any kids there

"There’s sensible of course, be sensible but a runny nose? One session of coughing. No that’s not sensible, they’ll go out of business with that approach, there’ll never be any kids there"

Ah but they still make you pay, even if they make you take your child home/keep them off!

My DS’ primary school is like this. They sent him home 6 times in the 6 weeks to May half term and had me go in to check whether I felt he could continue the day a further 2 times. He had hay fever. They knew this. They insisted on COVID PCR tests on 3 separate occasions before he could return to school. They then called me to say they were concerned about his attendance I told them there wouldn’t be an issue if they didn’t keep sending him home.

I think they’re just being mega cautious but it’s a good thing I have a very flexible job.

Our nursery is not like this. Our DD has been sent home two or times in the last 8 months. Can you have a word with the management team? If not I would consider moving her as it's far too disruptive

It’s definitely not the norm. I would expect the nursery to call for a high temperature but the other things are silly. I understand the concern re covid but a continuous cough isn’t the same as coughing when she wakes up from a nap. And for being quiet??? Ridiculous.

Ours isn't like this either- I think I've picked up DD twice in about 12 months, once for a temperature which came on with her also not being herself, and once for a non-stop cough that was real as it carried on when we picked her up. Both times covid test, both times negative, nursery said keep her off til she's cheerful enough to do the day, whenever we think that is. We do keep her off if she seems under the weather but that's been rare too. The don't even blink at a runny nose, just as well really.

Just to see it from another point of view (and please don’t jump down my throat!) the nursery is sewing with more than just 1 child. So firstly, having a child coughing/vomiting/shi**ing through the eye of a needle, means that child need close monitoring. Nurseries work to ratios so 1/3 for babies 1/4 for 2 yo 1/8 for 3 year olds. Most nurseries staff accordingly (so there aren’t usually ‘spare staff’. Secondly, if the child stays and infects the whole room/group- you’ve then got 30 pissed off parents instead of 1.

*dealing with (not sewing with?!)

Thing is though that a child can go downhill very rapidly
The child who seems very quiet could be on the way to hospital in an ambulance within the hour