AIBU to want to move

[GarageFlower123]

We currently live in a 3 bed semi detached house, with no mortgage (my mum died and we were able to pay the mortgage off). We have 2 kids and the 3rd bedroom is tiny and is starting to feel really small for my 9 year old. The house in general is pretty shabby and was bought when I was pregnant with my 2nd child as an emergency stop gap - it was cheap, and meant that we could manage on one income for 8 years while I stayed at home with the kids.

We've had quotes for putting extending, and would be looking at around £100K as there are complications with access etc. As it is an ex-council house, even with 4 bedrooms, there is a ceiling price on the property and we would never get that money back. Also, the neighbours, although lovely, are council tenants and don't maintain their house and garden at all well.

My OH is really low maintenence, and would happily live in a shed. So he's not fussed. Buying a 4 bed house would mean us borrowing around £150k which would make us around £700 a month worse off.

Is it worth it? Am I being precious and entitled wanting a bigger house? Should we just sit tight in our small horrible house and enjoy being mortgage free? We're both 47, and the kids are 9 and 12 - if we don't do it soon, there will be no point.

Why not just decorate the house and see how you feel after that? Fresh coats of paint make a huge difference, and wouldn't be a bad idea if you're selling up anyway so win-win.

I’m in a similar situation- right down to the easygoing DH. I’d like us to move to a similar-sized 3-bed in a nicer part of town.

Why would you upgrade to 4 beds? Could you find a less shabby 3-bed in a nicer street with a bigger 3rd bedroom for less than £150k more?

How are your secondary school options? Would moving give you the opportunity to pick a good catchment?

If you can afford the £700 a month, I would do it.

Teens take up a lot of space, they are better for having good revision space etc, if it is achievable.

Interest rates are low at the moment and you are in a strong position to shop around for a mortgage as you have so much equity.

It's impossible to answer without having some idea of (a) your income, and (b) where you live.

From my SE perspective, £700 a month is a tiny amount of money to pay to live in a nice, spacious family home. So I'd say absolutely, go for it. But if it's going to put a strain on your family finances then only you can decide if it's worth it.

I'd move. That's not a huge mortgage and you've been lucky to be mortgage free for a while in the current place. Doesn't sound worth extending and sounds like you'll benefit from a nicer area as well as more space. Not remotely precious and entitled. YOLO and all that.

You need to factor in the (probably) higher costs of a larger house - increased council tax, utilities, maintenance, etc., so you'd probably be more than £700 / month worse off.

The big question then is whether this is affordable, it's impact on your lifestyle. If you can cope with this relatively easily with a bit of belt tightening and cutting out some nice to haves that you won't miss too much then the move looks attractive. If the additional cost will leave you struggling financially, then you need to think harder.

Over time the financial impact of the larger house should ease, as you income would probably increase over time and the mortgage cost won't (assuming it's fixed).

Thanks for all the responses - really helpful! Our combined monthly take home income is £3100 - I'll be able to increase that by an extra £300 a month by going full time. Should £700 a month be affordable on that income?

I would definitely go for another 3 bed, as long as the 3rd bedroom was bigger. They all seem to be tiny though. I also primarily work from home now, so although I don't need an "office" as such (I'm pretty mobile), I would like the option of a 4th bedroom or study.

We are already in a great catchment area for schools, so would be really reluctant to move out to a cheaper area.

Ex council houses are usually great solid houses, often with decent size gardens ideal for families compared to modern developments, but the downside if you can have some tricky neighbours. That said you can have arsehole neighbours wherever you live.

Agree with a PP that if you redecorate and declutter, you might like it better. If you don't, well it'll be better prepped to go on the market and sell well, so I don't think you've got anything to lose.

Likewise if you did the extension and stayed for another 10-15 years, you've had the benefit of the extra space and ceiling prices almost certainly will rise in that time. It's a hard one.

Should £700 a month be affordable on that income?

Goodness yes, even without increasing your hours! How can you not know that? No point putting up with not enough space when you're earning that much. You must either be saving a lot or spending a lot, so why not spend it on a more appropriate living space (which is also coincidentally a good investment).

Can you go up into the loft and extend that way?

If you can afford the £700 plus all of the extra fees, then I would go for it.

Would the mortgage mean you have to work longer? What’s your pension looking like? I’d be more concerned about saving for retirement to be honest unless you’re pretty sorted on that front.

Do you really want to go full time in order to pay for a larger house that you don't need? Would going full time cause extra costs ie childcare?

Having a mortgage is a massive worry for some, what happens if you lose your job/are unable to work etc.

I'm risk averse so would advise that you do the best with the house you have. Each child has their own room, you are in a great catchment area and your neighbours seem to be nice.

Have you looked at 3 beds where you can move the wall into the next bedroom and make it bigger?

So you don't need to do a massive extension - have you asked for ideas to increase bedroom size without incurring such a huge cost?

There are other benefits to increasing your hours: your employer putting more into your pension.

Presumably the extra investment in the house would pay off when you sell, if you downsize in 15 or so years.

How much were you able to save while you were mortgage free?

Have you got into the habit of frittering and not being attentive and rigorous with your budget? The extra mortgage does sound achievable! Most people would be paying more than that in rent or mortgage.

Do you get child benefit on top of that take-home?

If you wfh a lot I would definitely do it.

Christ, if you can’t afford a £700 mortgage on £3100 take home salaries then you’ve got bigger problems than a house move.

@MarianneUnfaithful

There are other benefits to increasing your hours: your employer putting more into your pension.

Presumably the extra investment in the house would pay off when you sell, if you downsize in 15 or so years.

How much were you able to save while you were mortgage free?

Have you got into the habit of frittering and not being attentive and rigorous with your budget? The extra mortgage does sound achievable! Most people would be paying more than that in rent or mortgage.

Do you get child benefit on top of that take-home?

If you wfh a lot I would definitely do it.

Yes, the pension thing has been a concern. I was a stay at home mum for 8 years, so that really has had an impact - career progression as well. I've got about £5K in savings as well, so we've saved a fair bit over the time we haven't had a mortgage. The current house is worth about £200K so that's all deposit. We also only run 1 car and have no childcare costs any more as I'm WFH.

That take home is including the child benefit. I think that we are frittering money each month on something - you only need to look at the number of Hermes deliveries I get.... I think we've expanded our expenditure into our income, if that makes sense. If we were putting the money into a house, at least it's an investment going forward - and we'd just stop buying cr*p.

We are really fortunate in many ways, but we're just a bit debt averse. On balance, I think the investment is worth it - and also the nudge to go back full time (for pensions etc).

@CrotchetyQuaver

Ex council houses are usually great solid houses, often with decent size gardens ideal for families compared to modern developments, but the downside if you can have some tricky neighbours. That said you can have arsehole neighbours wherever you live. Agree with a PP that if you redecorate and declutter, you might like it better. If you don't, well it'll be better prepped to go on the market and sell well, so I don't think you've got anything to lose. Likewise if you did the extension and stayed for another 10-15 years, you've had the benefit of the extra space and ceiling prices almost certainly will rise in that time. It's a hard one.

You are so right. The actual house itself is solid, and the rooms are bigger. It seems that all the new builds around us have more rooms, but they're all tiny! You can touch the ceilings in some of them. I think I'm certainly going to take yours and PPs advice and get my paint brush out regardless. I'm erring more towards selling up, but even if we do that - the painting still needs to be done.

@Crabsy

Christ, if you can’t afford a £700 mortgage on £3100 take home salaries then you’ve got bigger problems than a house move.

Noted. I think we've just expanded our spending to fit the income...there must be a lot of wastage somewhere along the line.

@randomchap

Do you really want to go full time in order to pay for a larger house that you don't need? Would going full time cause extra costs ie childcare?

Having a mortgage is a massive worry for some, what happens if you lose your job/are unable to work etc.

I'm risk averse so would advise that you do the best with the house you have. Each child has their own room, you are in a great catchment area and your neighbours seem to be nice.

Yes. It's definitely a "want" rather than a "need", so I see your point and it's the argument that circles round my head daily!! I just think (given the response from other posters) that we must be wasting loads of money somewhere....on balance, if we had a mortgage, at least it would have to go towards a tangible asset.

We both have very secure jobs (well, as much as you can have such a thing these days). But yes, I fully appreciate your point - it's very much my OH's position at the moment. Thanks for commenting.

@OriginalTaste

Can you go up into the loft and extend that way?

We've looked into this. You would think it was quite straightforward, but because it's a double hipped roof with the beams essentially holding the whole house up (I don't fully understand this bit, but I've been told the same thing by at least 3 builders), it means that you can only get a tiny space out of it. I've looked at dormers and all sorts, but they all tell me it's not worth it. The people on our street who have done it, aren't able to class it as a 4th bedroom and just use it as a small study. Very frustrating!

Look at a garden room that can be your office by day and a teen hang out space in the evenings. Cheaper than moving or extending and a good one should last 20 years.

Good neighbours are worth an awful awful awful lot.

As the DC get older usually they have less toys and stuff. Are you making the most of storage options in the small bedroom? Given them space elsewhere too?

I wouldn't bother extending in the scenario you describe. Mortgage isn't the same as other debt and you can comfortably manage it in secure jobs. Investigate what it would cost over a shorter term so you can see your way to being mortgage-free again before you're 60. You'll get much more out of life in a better house than wasting thousands on Hermes clutter over the years, and you'll still be able to build up the pension. Your current home will be perfect for a younger/smaller/less wealthy family.

@AlbertBridge

I’m in a similar situation- right down to the easygoing DH. I’d like us to move to a similar-sized 3-bed in a nicer part of town.

Why would you upgrade to 4 beds? Could you find a less shabby 3-bed in a nicer street with a bigger 3rd bedroom for less than £150k more?

I don't know about you, but I wish I was more like my OH who is very much a "appreciate what you've got" kinda guy. At the same time, I find it so infuriating that he doesn't feel the need to progress in any way!

Yes, I would definitely be happy with a 3 bedroom, if all three rooms were of a decent size - all the 3 beds seem to be 2 big bedrooms and a box room though. But yes, my daily Rightmove search includes 3 bed properties as well....just in case! Good luck in persuading your OH of the benefits of moving :-)

@RandomMess

Look at a garden room that can be your office by day and a teen hang out space in the evenings. Cheaper than moving or extending and a good one should last 20 years.

Good neighbours are worth an awful awful awful lot.

As the DC get older usually they have less toys and stuff. Are you making the most of storage options in the small bedroom? Given them space elsewhere too?

We've definitely maximised the space in the smaller room - we've got the highest bed in the world, so she has a "gaming" cubby under the bed. The vast number of teddies don't help, and she loves lego which is pretty impossible for her at the moment. She is getting too big though to climb up the bed comfortably - it creaks every time she goes up, and although it's really well bolted to the wall, I can't help panicking. Also, she doesn't need a desk at the moment, but she will one day. Then it will have to be goodbye to the gaming chairs....I think I'd feel really bad.

We have thought about a garden room, but again - anything we do to this house, it just feels like your (forgive the expression) polishing a t*rd. We could spend thousands on it, but next door will still be attached to it with all the problems they have accumulated (leaking roof/chimney, gutters, overgrown garden). Ho hum.