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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU for not wanting to reschedule my trip?

14 replies

Spud90 · 25/07/2021 20:56

Opinions please?

In 2020 I arranged to go on a trip to S Korea with my mum and sister. Summer is monsoon season and winter is absolutely freezing so spring and autumn are the only choices. I wanted to go in spring to see the cherry blossoms but my sister wanted to go in October because it's her favourite BTS member's birthday. If we went in October we'd have more time to save and have more spending money which I thought was a fair point so I agreed to October. Then corona virus happened and it ended being pushed back a year. We could have changed it to spring since it was going to be another year and we could save enough but it was kept at October. Anyway, we booked the air bnb in January for October 2022.

Yesterday, my mum messaged me to say my sister can't go anymore because they've rearranged their family holiday from this year to next year, the week before we go to Korea and her partner has to use his holidays from work for their holiday. So, they want to move our trip to April 2023 instead, which they said is better for me because I'll be able to see the cherry blossoms like I originally wanted. However, when we looked it up the cherry blossoms bloom for a week or two early April when it'll be my two nephew's birthdays. She doesn't want to be in Korea for their birthdays so will only be able to go after the cherry blossoms have died. The air pollution is the worst in spring too so I don't want to go then unless it's to see the cherry blossoms but if we don't go in spring then it'll be October 2023, another year on top of how long I've already waited. I'll have waited 3 years to go.

My mum doesn't really want to go without my sister and feels caught in the middle which is understandable. I'm not very close to my sister so I'm not really that bothered plus we fell out a few months ago and I worry that we'll fall out while we're there. I'm considering going alone but some stuff there is group orientated, for example some restaurants won't accommodate you in busy hours because tables are set out for groups. Plus other things like taxis will cost me more because I won't be splitting it with anyone. Korea is very safe for solo travel in general so I'm not scared of going alone. I don't know anyone else that wants to go.

My sister doesn't really seem that bothered about going, even though she says she wants to she doesn't seem very excited so if I push it back another 6 months or more she might still end up changing her mind and I end up going with my mum or alone anyway. The air bnb we chose is fully booked up to 2023 so we can't change it to a different month next year.

I'm not sure what to do now and I just feel so frustrated. She's now making passive aggressive posts on Facebook about it and is more annoyed at me for not wanting to rearrange it than she is with her partner who booked their holiday the same dates as our trip even though he knew when we were going.

What would you do?

OP posts:
Speakuptomakeyourselfheard · 25/07/2021 21:05

Can you cancel and get your money back OP?

Jerseygirl12 · 25/07/2021 21:33

I’d cancel and make my own plans to go.

TheSandgroper · 25/07/2021 23:47

Cancel the family and book a group. Then it’s all clear and written down. And you are all there for the same reason so the sense of purpose is a cohesive element.

Spud90 · 26/07/2021 00:17

We can get our money back but it’s a really good deal and a popular apartment, in a great location, big and quite cheap so I might as well just go by myself and keep the air bnb.

I messaged her to tell her to knock it off with the passive aggressive statuses and to speak to me properly and I got a load of verbal abuse so we definitely won’t be going together now anyway.

OP posts:
GiantHaystacks2021 · 26/07/2021 00:43

There will be no normal international travel until 2024, at least.

Wait until then - but go on your own.
They're all taking the piss.

Anoisagusaris · 26/07/2021 00:48

I’m still stuck at the fact that an adult would plan a trip around a boy band member’s birthday 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Bagamoyo1 · 26/07/2021 00:58

What is BTS?

paddlingon · 26/07/2021 01:02

Who actually would book a trip around a BTS members birthday once they were older than 12?

Your dsis is far too immature to try and book a group holiday with.

Maggiemay92 · 26/07/2021 01:25

@Anoisagusaris

I’m still stuck at the fact that an adult would plan a trip around a boy band member’s birthday 🤣🤣🤣🤣
This! 😂😂😂

Does she think she'll be invited to his birthday party?

quizqueen · 26/07/2021 01:40

Go with a solo holiday company like Just You. They are very good.

Spud90 · 26/07/2021 12:44

They have events, decorations and pop up shops around the city to celebrate their birthdays so that's why she wanted to go then but I didn't really want to waste my time there going to see them anyway.

She's actually my older sister but she's thrown a complete wobbler and says we don't care about her because we don't want to reschedule it. Even though she made out she didn't expect us to.

OP posts:
Spud90 · 26/07/2021 12:46

@quizqueen

Go with a solo holiday company like Just You. They are very good.
I'll look into them thanks!
OP posts:
EmoIsntDead · 26/07/2021 13:16

my sister wanted to go in October because it's her favourite BTS member's birthday

Does she think she’ll get an invite to his bday party? 🤣🤣

Spud90 · 28/07/2021 19:47

She's now thrown a massive tantrum because we're not going to change it and told my mum she should make me change the date. I think she thinks since my mum booked the air bnb she should cancel it so I don't have a choice but to change the plans. She also said she didn't think the dates for our trip were set in stone (they definitely were) and she didn't think I'd mind because I wanted to see the cherry blossoms originally anyway, but she didn't realise they only bloomed for 2 weeks when it was her son's birthdays.

So basically, it sounds like she knew he was booking it for those dates but let him and then after he booked it she messaged my mum to tell her he'd booked those dates and said "if you still want to go in October then I can't come :'( " expecting us to be fine with delaying it another year.

I messaged her to say to knock off the facebook posts because it's childish and to just speak to me properly and she said "I don't give a flying f*ck to be honest". I blocked her before she could start verbally abusing me and she's blocked my mum. She said we don't care about her and my mum always puts me before her.

OP posts:
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