To think no one helped develop our fine motor skills and we all turned out fine?

[Maybeitstime2021]

Just had a post on my FB with activities to do with your child to develop their fine motor skills before starting school in September, why is this a thing? I’m pretty sure we all learned to do our coats up and hold a pencil ok when we were kids without these activities?

The women in the generation above me could sew all sorts of clothes, curtains etc but they are not lamenting the lack of my fine motor skills when the best I can do is messily sew on a button and some name labels.

Not being able to sew does not mean you didn't develop fine motor skills. It simply means you didn't learn to sew. Sewing uses fine motor skills but not being able to sew doesn't mean you don't have them.

The increase in screen time and the decrease in free, unstructured play is likely to result in reduced fine motor and gross motor skills.

@Scarby9

Many children have hardly held a crayon or a pencil before school, and - as others have said - the advent of screens has given some children only one specialised form of dexterity which doesn't lead naturally into pencil control.

Outdoor play (dighing, hanging from bars, bashing things, sweeping) strengthens the arms and all the things school has listed will help develop the strength and dexterity for a comfortable firm tripod grip to write.

Your chold may well have been doing al those things from the moment they were capable, but you can't blame the school for trying to make sure all children have the same opportunities if their parents had not thought to provide them.

My Reception-age DS loves doing and is fairly good at all the gross motor skill outdoor play things mentioned here, and has never used an iPad or mobile, but still has terrible handwriting bless him 😭!

As others have mentioned, you’ve obviously never heard of Dyspraxia? This makes it extremely difficult for children to write. Their fine motor skills can be significantly under developed and it’s not because they’ve not had the opportunity to learn the skills, it’s because they have a neurological disorder!!

Like in other areas, 30 years makes a huge difference to what we understand about development. So back then it would have been unheard of and the many children with what we now know as dyspraxia, would just fail in school because they would have no support.

So you see, before this can be diagnosed, the doctors need to be sure that the child has had the opportunity to learn these skills so classes like this for young kid will help.

Some children are just a bit delayed and will catch up if they keep practicing, whereas those that have dyspraxia won’t catch by as such.

I assume people did know about this stuff when I was growing up in the seventies.

As a preschool child I had those books where you follow the patterns with a crayon, a wooden shoe board for practising tying shoe laces, threading games, threading kits and so on.

Presumably they were mass produced so plenty of other kids had them too.

I spent years using play doh in winter and messing with a bowl of water in summer (with plastic jugs, cups, teapots etc.)

Yes we turned out fine but we grew up at a different time and with different parenting tbh

I’m pretty sure we all learned to do our coats up and hold a pencil ok when we were kids without these activities?

No we didn't actually. We were taught and encouraged in these things.

I remember my parents teaching me how to tie school tie and shoes. Among other things

My dd is now 20.

When she was about to start school there was an evening held by the future head teacher to introduce everyone but she also had to do a little "speech" saying what the children would be expected to manage and that parents needed to ensure this

This included but was not ltd to :

Children being toilet trained

Children being able to dress and undress themselves for games

Children being able to feed
themselves (and I mean finger foods not complicated cutlery!)

Children being able to recognise their own name - spoken and written

Children responding appropriately to the word no

Children responding appropriately to "please do x"

I was  at first thinking wtf why does she feel the need to say this? Surely parents do ensure this?

Then I overheard SOME parents talking afterwards and COMPLAINING that these were too high expectations! Clearly expecting teachers to literally wipe arses, dress and feed their little cherubs

So no it doesn't surprise me 15/16 years later that SOME parents are needing to be told to do the basics of parenting/child development.

I think it's a combination of laziness, lack of awareness of normal child development, lack of education given on normal child development, families not discussing this/passing on this knowledge.

Things like mn can be useful somewhat for this.

I see threads fairly frequently on pregnancy, birth, bf, settling babies etc where the op clearly hasn't had any experience with babies or children and their families haven't discussed such things with them.

It's sad really especially for the children.

Parenting doesn't happen by accident you need to be engaged and proactive

And is having handwriting that’s not very neat in nursery going to prevent you achieving your academic potential?

Hand writing aids learning in several ways including the creation of neural pathways in parts of the brain where cognitive abilities are developing.

A simple example is you are far more likely to remember something you've handwritten than something you've typed on a phone or computer.

People who physically write more than type have better recall and think more logically.

It’s not the ideas themselves it’s that no one told our parents to do it, grandparents etc to do it,

Yea they did. Older relatives told them, health visitors told them, teachers told them... wider society told them by way of the expectations

I've had this discussion several times with my mum as at one stage it was thought my brother had a learning disability, it turned out he didn't he had a physical issue which was resolved with surgery in the end.

I only found out when i joined MN that I did baby led weaning about years after I did it.

Same

It was just "weaning" when I did it

When I was a kid children were given plasticine - it's much stiffer, you really have to work it with your hands, it's much better for building strength

I agree

I’m in my 40s and have a cross stitch calendar I made at infants - so age 6 or 7

I've recently started cross stitching again, I too was first taught embroidery at school at 6/7, my mother taught me knitting and sewing, my father bike maintenance and woodworking he was actually the person who taught me to make corn dollies.

@BlatantlyNameChanged that will be true for some of them, it's certainly not true for the majority.

I've several friends/family who are teachers and childcare workers and I've been a nanny and childminder myself. The majority of the time it is down to lack of parenting not lack of ability.
There are also too many parents who won't allow painting, water play, stickers etc cos they're "too messy" well frankly shouldn't have had kids then! This is part and parcel of what I consider BASIC parenting/childcare/encouraging child development

but the physically skilled nature of the tasks being attempted would have had value in developing fine & gross motor skills

Exactly

Also agree that many kids don't have a wide variety of toys and agree it's not necessarily down to poverty although that can be a factor.

Hmmm I still tie laces in an unusual way and I can't ride a bike. Maybe a little more direct intervention would've been a good thing.

I would like to look at a toy in a shop and ask myself if it was going to be fun to play with rather than being hyper-conscious of what skills might be improved by playing with it.

But I've always brought toys on whether they are fun to play with and whether they would last more than a minute in most cases.

@KingdomScrolls you can learn to ride a bike. You just need someone patient to teach you.

I tie my laces in two different ways as when I was a kid I had difficultly doing it the more complex way most people do it. One advantage of knowing two different methods is I can teach others who have difficultly tying up laces my easy method.

Watched a little lad doing an 8 piece jigsaw. Very good at matching the pieces, obviously 'knew' how to do edges, match pics etc BUT he couldnt join them, kept trying to push them together (as in a jigsaw app). Had to be showm to lift them up and join the pieces.

DS is 6, I think I was lucky in that as a little child he was never a screen watcher player. He'd happily sit in a nappy and post plastic oversized 2p coins down the floorboard holes in the restored hallway 😂 he would also play with anything he could get his hands on and I was never much bothered about "mess" as we had easy to clean floors in the rest of the house. So I'd often give him finger print paints and paper, or play doh. He wasn't a "I want to draw or colour in kind of kid" either though, was all about physical play.

But then my other friend her little one hated to play. Just her personality so mum had to encourage fine motor skills.

Swing and roundabouts, all kids are different. And if someone can share some information on how to help then I don't see the issue.

My ds has poor fine motor skills, at 17 his handwriting is worse than a 5 year old, he has hypotonia & has to use a laptop for all his coursework & exams. He can build anything out of Lego, has been able to since he was tiny but can't tie shoelaces & can't colour or draw.

Not being able to sew does not mean you didn't develop fine motor skills. It simply means you didn't learn to sew. Sewing uses fine motor skills but not being able to sew doesn't mean you don't have them

That’s my point!

Lack of certain types of skills need to be taken in the context of current situation and the overall ability of the child i.e. is there a need for the child to have ever had to learn to tie shoe laces (previous PPs have mentioned children used to be able to do this by YR whereas now it’s much later)? Is there a specific area they struggle with? Is there global delay in development of fine motor skills? Etc

@RedMarauder honestly I've tried, DH is incredibly patient and we've spent days and days trying over the years, I also went to adult learn to cycle lessons and still can't! There are other things co-ordination wise that make me wonder if I was young today I'd be diagnosed as dyspraxic but there are other fine motor skills I am very good at, I can play piano and guitar for example.

Ask my primary teacher and they'll tell you why it's become a thing.

*any

We were all taught to tie our shoelaces in reception, and we had zero screen time.

Other than the three channels on the telly - two of which had about 2 hours of children's programming on weekdays early evening, and on starurday mornings.

It was a different world, and different expectations. There wasn't any need to 'develop skills' because life was set up to do that.

Also the jargon wasn't used, because most people just got on with child rearing. You maybe had a baby book, but that was about it.

@Maybeitstime2021

Just had a post on my FB with activities to do with your child to develop their fine motor skills before starting school in September, why is this a thing? I’m pretty sure we all learned to do our coats up and hold a pencil ok when we were kids without these activities?

I hate these kind of "I turned out alright" comments. The truth is YOU turned out alright but other people didn't! They struggled a lot! And that is where these ideas come from

The same thing, for example, with carseats. I also didn't use a carseat after 3 years old and didn't even use a seatbelt. However I was also incredibly lucky to never have been in a serious car accident and many other children have died or been left severely injured. So I'm going to strap my kids tightly! And my parents would have done the same if they had known

@KingdomScrolls my DP is dyspraxic and can ride a bike. Plus I know people with balance problems who have learnt. It has taken them longer to learn than other people e.g. years. Some cycling instructors have shown they simply don't have the ability to teach them so they have been taught by extended family members or friends.

Oh and if you have room to store a tricycle then get one of those instead. You will be able to have a basket between the back wheels so should be able to carry a decent amount.

It's not about not having neathandwriting in reception- it's about not having the strength in your hands to hold a pencil correctly.

Fine motor activities are far more fun for a child when incorporated into their play in early years, then being taken out of class in Y2 for intervention because they still can't hold a pencil and need their hand muscles building up.

My youngest DD just didn't have the fine motor skills her older siblings had at the same age. I recognised that and was able to give specific activities to help her. Other parents might not be aware their child is behind or what activities might help, so I think it's useful information for parents who wouldn't otherwise be aware.

Also, my parents smoked, smoked me and I didn't use a seatbelt as a child and I turned out OK. It's not the way I've chosen to parent my own DC though

@noworklifebalance

Not being able to sew does not mean you didn't develop fine motor skills. It simply means you didn't learn to sew. Sewing uses fine motor skills but not being able to sew doesn't mean you don't have them

That’s my point!

Lack of certain types of skills need to be taken in the context of current situation and the overall ability of the child i.e. is there a need for the child to have ever had to learn to tie shoe laces (previous PPs have mentioned children used to be able to do this by YR whereas now it’s much later)? Is there a specific area they struggle with? Is there global delay in development of fine motor skills? Etc

I read your previous post as saying just because they can't do certain things, there is no need to worry. However, I think that because daily life doesn't provide the opportunities to develop these skills that it used to, we need to look at ways to ensure children can develop them.

If children have developed fine motor skills, they will be able to learn how to do certain things like hold a pencil much more quickly and easily than if they haven't developed those skills.

I wasn't very well coordinated as a small child, and nowadays would probably have been labelled dyspraxia. To help me, my mum made me what became known as 'the button-fixer' before I went to school. It was over 60 years ago, but I can still remember it - it was made of two strips of mauve and white gingham with little bunches of flowers on, and it had all kinds of buttons, toggles, press-studs, hooks and eyes and laces to fix the two parts together. My mum was an amazing crafts woman who could turn her hand to anything and my dad was an electronics engineer with excellent technical skills, and I was the only one of their four children who didn't inherit their dexterity. It didn't really help much with my handwriting, which is still pretty bad, but at least I was able to do up my shoes & clothes when I went to school!

balls to roll and catch, beanbags to catch, balls to throw and catch, clapping games, climbing stairs, jumping

All need to come before fine motor

Talk to your children, talk alongside your children (it isn’t performance parenting/ it is part of language development), model back correct vocabulary and grammar

It frustrates me to see children in restaurants on iPads

Last night a family nex to us were playing verbal games, colouring in small books and chatting to their children. Very rarely see that anymore

@gogohm

Years ago they assumed parents were preparing their children for school but alas some parents to not teach them basic skills. My friend teaches reception and every year they have one or two kids who are in nappies (not special needs), can't use cutlery or a hold a pencil, unable to do up their coat or put on shoes BUT can operate a mobile phone and computer. Basic social skills need to be spelt out for those families. My friend is a teacher, if they have to to these basic things that are normal for 4 year olds to do themselves they aren't teaching the class.

Children still in nappies for no good, verified, medical reason have no place in Infant school, it's down to lazy parents. Yes, I know they're supposed to be 'ready' etc etc, all the waffle, but children in nappies at 5 for no good reason is definitely a current trend.