'When are you having another baby?'

[hopefulmamaofone]

Hi everyone,

I'm a mum to one DD 26 months. Recently I've been having so many comments about having another baby and am so fed up of it! I have posted previously about being on the depo and not having any cycles since coming off it. It's been such a source of stress for me as I was really hoping to TTC immediately. I've finally had my first period and am on CD6 and so hopeful that I will ovulate this month but obviously it could be a long time for us yet.

But I've been getting so many comments from people recently, my FiL made comments just last week 'are you having any more kids then? You're leaving it a long time', just today a woman who works with DH and has never met me has commented on a photo I posted of us saying 'it's time for baby no 2 now don't you think?' And to top it off, a group of women I work with have made similar comments telling me 'you should have another one now, you don't want too big of an age gap!'

For reference, I'm 27 so no rush due to age. I'm so fed up of these comments, they're really getting me down at a time when I'm senstive about the topic and very aware that my body isn't working as it should. I would love another and am praying it will happen soon for us but don't feel like I should explain this to these people, I feel like telling them we want another asap will just encourage these comments and increase the pressure on me.

I am aware that I may be oversensitive on this topic due to my current situation!

AIBU to be fed up of these comments and ask what on earth you say to them?!

Urggghhh, I remember this so well. I was only able to have one and I really hated having to explain to nosey feckers why.

I'm really glad I'm too old now and people don't ask any more .

Yanbu. It is a sensitive topic but I think some people are a bit sheltered from what others go through and they don’t realise it.

To be honest people have said the same thing to me and I just don’t let it bother me. I had three miscarriages before my baby was born and I am just so happy to have one baby. When someone says “are you going to have another one?” I just say “I don’t know yet”. Occasionally if I feel close to the person I will mention about the miscarriages and then they usually say something apologetic and back off.

Good luck OP, I hope you have success in ttc.

@MrsApplepants

I have an only child by choice. People finally stopped asking when we were having another when she was about 8. It was so annoying and intrusive as it’s no one’s business but yours, sympathies.

Lucky you 😂 I’m the same and I still get it and DS is now 12!! We’ve recently got a puppy so I tell them he’s instead of a baby and that shuts them up 🙄.

I had this. I wanted to make them squirm. I looked them straight in the eye and say "if they didn't keep dying inside me we'd have another one already" and hold eye contact for as long as it took for them to look away. I'm sure they'd think twice about asking other people and I'm sure word soon spread within our circle to not ask me that question as it soon stopped 😊

I have one child and weirdly I never get asked if I’m having another! I can understand how frustrating it would be though

I can top this. I'm currently pregnant with my THIRD dc and have already twice been asked when I'm having my fourth! Both people looked quite perplexed when I said we were stopping at three Some people are weird. Ignore!

If they're a pleasant person and I know they don't mean anything by it I usually say "we'd love another but we have had a lot of loss"

If they've pissed me off ill say something like "my second son died at birth and I've had two miscarriages since" and then just wait for the look of horror on their face.

I've just got married and get it all the time. What people don't realise is that we've been ttc for 8 months.
I always reply with "well we're trying but its not happening". It shuts them up every time. Well for about 10 minutes then they come back with "have you tried xyz".

I am now pregnant with our second after 2 miscarriages. A family acquaintance (BIL new girlfriend) is child free by choice (which is fine!) and constantly moaning about how many people ask when she’s going to have children, posting passive aggressive Facebook posts about people asking when she’s going to have kids etc. For the record I’ve been to big family events with her and have never, ever heard anyone ask her why she doesn’t want kids, or comment on it at all 🤷‍♀️. Anyway, imagine my shock when she asks me several times about my plans for another child, before I was pregnant, even saying that my PIL have bought a new large house ‘for grandchildren’. I was in the TWW after trying again after my second miscarriage and she gets me on my own and proceeds to lecture me about how I need to hurry up and have another child due to my age (35) because she apparently sees loads of women in her job at hospital over 35 booked in for terminations for birth defects 😞. I wish I’d said something but was too hurt and was just gobsmacked. She wasn’t aware of the miscarriages but still, you just don’t say that. Very rude particularly as she doesn’t like being on the receiving end. Unless she thinks that as I have a child already I must be fair game?! Was tempted to interrogate her about why she doesn’t want kids at the next family dinner mwahaha...but no, of course I didn’t!

'Are you offering to help us?'

'I wish it was as easy as you seem to think it is.'

I had an eleven year gap between my first two.

11 years of being asked when I was going to have another.

It got right up my arse.

I'm absolutely astounded at somw of your experiences, why are people so insensitive?!
I'm so sorry to those of you who've had such awful experiences, it seems as though I'm actually getting off pretty lightly!

Will definitely be questioning people's interest in my sex life from now on 😂

Also thank you so much for the good wishes with TTC, fingers crossed it happens soon before I lose my shit with the next person who asks about baby #2!