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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Have I done the right thing?

2 replies

Mehhhhhhhhh · 25/07/2021 13:15

I finally put my own self before others and blocked my ex and his DM off of SM and phone numbers etc, this came to happen because I dared to ask for the maintenence for our child together and I didn't realise it didn't start this month, as soon as I had asked him he asked his DM to put the money into my bank and she started with her bullying tactics and even wrote a LIST of what her DS (my ex) had done around the house (think DIY/Gardening related as he never helped financially) and included on this list was an initeray of items her and her husband had given to US which they now have the majority of said items back and then she started demanding a CALENDER back yes you read that right a CALENDER which has all my appointments and my eldest child's activities written on.
It all came to a head and I've told my ex how its made me feel, and he essentially told me 'I'm fucked' however only a week ago he was telling me he was going to marry me and he loved me and needed me and he slept with me so I of course feel used and like I've been taken for a mug. He wouldn't sort contact out or maintenence and his DM decided to take control over that which I had to put my foot down and go through CMA and now i refuse to arrange any contact with her.

She has in the past stated I'm a bad mother because I told her to stop smacking mine and my ex partners son (I'm somehow the bad mother for not letting her hit him 🤔) I've completely had enough with their whole family and I can't deal with them anymore, I don't know where to go now as I don't want to talk to any of them currently as I cannot take the gaslighting and the manipulation anymore, he won't do mediation because he has to pay for that himself (as do i) and any attempts at getting him to sit and write a parenting plan have fallen on deaf ears and a refusal to do so.
I constantly feel on edge and like I have to do everything that they say otherwise i get told I'm being difficult and not being cooperative but today I've had enough and completely blocked them. I don't know how we will be sorting contact out going forward but for now I need to keep them blocked for my own mental welfare because I feel constantly on edge again.

I'm sorry for the ramble.

OP posts:
Pingued · 25/07/2021 16:58

Yes for now I think that was the right thing to do. I'm not sure why his mother thinks she has any rights to know when your appointments are or why she is getting so involved. You didn't have a child with her.

Looubylou · 25/07/2021 17:20

I wouldn't have direct contact with his mother again. Shame you can't do the same with him. I would keep all communication with him limited to child's welfare. Don't allow yourself to be vulnerable to his flattery again either. They sound awful.

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