To ask what you would think of this interaction?

[LemonSherbetFancies]

Friend took my grandkids out for the day. Kids came home with a small keyring each.
Eldest said friend had bought them yet as friend left, my eldest grandchild said we owed money and it was not actually a gift.
I texted friend with 'Sarah, I'm sorry. Poppy told me about the keyrings. Next time please let me give you cash or tell me about it please. Thanks.'

She replied with 'It was a present, please don't take the word of a child over things like this."

Bit confused - did the eldest say friend had bought them but then changed their mind and said money was owed?

Anyway, the fact that friend chose to buy them and then didn't say anything about money means I would have thanked them for the children's gifts. Or at least have asked "Do I owe you anything?" Bit odd that you sent the message you did in the first instance.

It was a gift. The grandchild was mistaken. Your text reads like a telling off and your friend has reacted accordingly.

I'm not sure I'd have worded the text like that TBH. It's more likely that your DGC got confused, than that your friend would assume you would pay her back a cost she'd failed to check in advance, & then leave without mentioning it?

Friend overthinking to ensure the message is clear, you being a little sensitive. Don’t give it another thought

Your text to your friend isn't very friendly, I'm not surprised she responded the way she did. Adults don't generally tell other adults off like that.

As friend was leaving I’d have said “thanks for taking them out, what do I owe you a
for drinks/ice creams/the key rings”.

Your text wasn’t even actually offering to pay was it… “next time please tell me about it”. It sounds rather like a snippy telling off.

I was just embarrassed as friend is quite shy and would perhaps not have mentioned it to me.
Apologies, the youngest said it was a gift, the eldest disagreed.

Your initial text is worded rather officiously. I'd have said 'thanks so much for giving the children a lovely day - do I owe you anything for the keyrings?'

I'd reply to the last, 'Sorry, just wanted to check, thanks again' or similar

It's easy to read a tone into a text that isn't there. I'd forget it now, your friend took your grandchildren on a nice day out.

Don't sour it over a misunderstanding about keyrings!

Your first message is a little strange? I think I would just have said - thanks again for taking the kids out today, do I owe you anything for the key rings? X

I meant tell me about it so I could pay her back.

The wording of your text was a bit off tbh. Probably why your friend responded the way they did.

Surely a test to ask if you owed her anything would have been better.

You got the response based on your message. Whether you meant it or not, it was a bit 'off'.

@HeddaGarbled

It was a gift. The grandchild was mistaken. Your text reads like a telling off and your friend has reacted accordingly.

Yes, exactly. You should have just thanked, as she hadn’t asked.

You sounded a bit snippy and her reply was perfectly reasonable.

Your text was rude

Not just a bit off - read it again, it is really quite rude in the context

You need to apologise to her.

Even after your explanations your text is snippy, at the least. Quite patronising, as though she were one of the kids.

Being a fully functioning, independent adult I would probably have been less polite in response.

Give her a call and tell her you are sorry and can see that your text was poorly written. And then thank her for taking the kids out.

Your text was a bit unnecessary, I’d have said ‘what do I owe you for the key rings’ it reads like you’re having a bit of a go at her

I imagine it went something like this;

Kids: please can we go in the gift shop?
Sarah: (eyes up prices in gift shop) did you bring any money?
Eldest: we can pay you back
Sarah (looks for something fairly cheap, spots key rings) It's ok. I 'll get you one of those each

Now you and your friend are doing that painfully polite British thing of I'll pay, don't be afraid to ask...oh no I insist on paying, I'm insulted you're offering i.e trying so hard to be courteous you're actually annoying each other

Neither of you are being intentionally rude, it's fine.

@LawnFever

Your text was a bit unnecessary, I’d have said ‘what do I owe you for the key rings’ it reads like you’re having a bit of a go at her

Exactly this. You sound harsh....

Also, how old is the eldest?

You should ha e just phoned her and had a conversation.

Your text was rude and with a very shitty tone.

Your first text sounds irritated rather than appreciative.

Your text is quite rude. It doesn’t offer the money, it’s a reprimand.

Why didn’t you just text and say thanks for buying the kids the key rings, how much do I owe you?

Why so horrid about it?