To ask if I'm a bad mum?

[PennyDreadful66]

This may be outing but I just need some outside views - my DS was born in January, my dad passed away in march after a short illness and I've been trying my best to care for my son and grieve, around may my husband's shift changed to 5am-1am and I don't really sleep as thats when I tend to grieve and such about my dad (I guess because it's the only time I get to myself) and I was finding it really difficult caring for my son on less than 2 hours sleep so now when my husband's at work my mum comes up between 10-2 just to cover a feed so I can get some sleep. This is going to continue when I go back to work as I'll be working 9.30-2.30 but when my mum isn't here, DH and I split childcare, I just wanted to know if this was okay or am I being a shit mum to my baby.

Of course you're not being a shit mum. You're doing your best and your baby is loved an cared for.

I meant 5am-1pm in op, but thank you, I just can't help but feel a bit crap, maybe it's a bit of mum guilt.

Of course it's fine and it's a good idea for your mum and baby to spend time together and get used to the arrangement before you go back.

You are doing the best thing, you need to have some sleep to operate.

Hope things get a bit easier for you soon, sorry to hear about your Dad

This sounds really tough, grieving such a loss and looking after a newborn. It sounds like your solution is a great one where your baby will be cared for by a loving relative and have his mummy more rested too.

If you're considering it and worrying about it then no. Absolutely not.

Ime the bad parents have no idea they are and wouldn't consider it.

You're being a responsible, GREAT mum, by asking for the help you need.
I'm really sorry for your loss.

No definitely not a bad mum OP, don’t worry about it and just accept the help you need.

I lost my mum during maternity leave when my DS was eight months. It was the hardest time in my life, both beforehand while knowing she was ill and then after she died and the grieving started. It’s been almost a year now and I still cry each night I go to bed. You’re doing amazing. I found it hard when my baby was older and would have found it so much harder had my DS been that much younger.

You do the best you can and you’ll always be doing amazing 💐 it’s so incredibly hard and I’m sending you lots of prayers tonight because we all need them.

@Bex268 i'm so sorry to read that, that sounds incredibly tough 😔

Please be kind and gentle to yourself! You’re a brilliant mum 💐