Lonely, what do I do

[Abitlostrightnow]

SAHM to 2 kids, no friends. I desperately want to go out and do things but have noone to go with. My partner will happily watch kids while I'm out but he is my only friend and the only person I have to go out with. No friends or family to watch kids and hiring a babysitter isn't an option, our eldest is very clingy and will only stay with me or her dad so I don't feel happy doing that. I've been to eat alone, to dinner alone etc but I just feel horrible, I know I'm lonely and I know I'm there alone because I haven't got anyone to be out with. My husband went out with his friends for his birthday last month and had a great time, I don't have anyone to do anything like that with. His friends partners all go out with them sometimes and that also makes me feel sad because I just can't join in. They all understandably want to go out when they have babysitters so the prospect of a few quiet drinks at ours isn't too appealing. How do I make myself just appreciate what I have? Anyone in the same boat? I'm thinking about this daily now and it's bringing me down even though there's nothing I can do. I thought about getting a job but childcare is too expensive especially as there is 2 of them under the funded age and my partner works varied shifts, early, late day and night and sometimes goes away for a few weeks at a time

Op not easy. I have teens. Met a good few mums once they were school age you will prob find the same. I used go walking with 2 mums but her friends seem a click its hard to get into that. Its not as easy as people say to make friends

People say you will meet loads of friends when they start school but ime that’s not been the case for me, I didn’t make any friends at the school gates despite having 3 at school, I would try baby groups etc if I was you, I wish I had went to them tbh as waiting for the school gates isn’t a guarantee and I just haven’t met any friends that way

To be honest she's been like it from birth. Screams for the duration of the group, I'll go talk to anyone but we can't hold a conversation and you can't make anyone stay, you know? Tricky

Thank you I'll try this 💜

Go to different playgroups and go on the pull for for mum friends. I was new in town with a toddler and approached people at play groups a few knock backs but gradually met a few like minded women then their friends etc. Our babies now 14 and we are still great friends and met more at school. It’s early days for you but you need to put yourself out there. What’s the worst that could happen? It’s pretty shit now so it’s worth risking it.

I'd love to work but childcare for two is almost double what I'd are d partner works y, nights weekends and goes away for up to 4 weeks at a time so not able to do childcare on set days

I feel exactly the same. I have a 20 month old and a 3 month old and its crippling lonely at times.

I’ve made a lot of friends at slimming world and we meet up outside group for coffee or a walk. A new mum joined recently not much weight to lose but has said how much it’s helped her as she’d been struggling with pnd.

Partners work doesn't help as definitely can't go to anything weekly and he's sometimes gone for 3 weeks at a time

God that would have sent me over the edge when mine were little (I had no other family). Can he change jobs now he has a family not just to provide for but to care for.

Has your HV said anything about your baby's reaction to other people?

@hels1987

I feel exactly the same. I have a 20 month old and a 3 month old and its crippling lonely at times.

Or put them in childcare every Friday and when dh is home they can miss it Or you could even have a day out together.

Once the DC start making friends you'll be snapped up by a friends DM.

Hi OP I’m in the same position as you. I’ve always been able to make friends in the different environments I’m in eg school, university, work etc but I can never maintain friendships after leaving those environments. The only place I didn’t really succeed at making friends was the baby groups. I’m now in a place where I don’t really have anyone. I have family around for “support” but I don’t have anyone for fun, even a bit of banter on WhatsApp. It’s really lonely. My kids are also 2 and 1. I’m hoping once they start school I’ll find some mum friends