AIBU to refuse to do a PCR test on 3 year old with no symptoms for nursery

[Annoyedandirritated]

Nursery keep having to close due to Covid, it’s a small nursery so staff are generally in contact with all the separate rooms.

They have emailed saying all kids/babies need PCR tests before returning and we need to email the results to the nursery manager.

My little one has now been off nursery for 2 weeks and is due to return on Monday.

I’m happy to do lateral flow tests as I can do them
When she’s sleeping, but aibu to refuse to do a PCR on an asymptomatic baby which will be traumatic for her? Can they legally enforce this?

Thank you, and totally agree that although not a tiny baby, she’s still a very young child who can’t be rationalised with

I haven't tested my children once and won't unless I 100% had to. I do the tests 3x a week on myself and no way would I put my kids through it without good reason. I got tested when my daughters preschool closed due to covid as we both had symptoms and I was positive so took it as she and my other children were positive too. No way was I putting her through that just to confirm what I already knew.

I think its fair enough. Same happened in my child's nursery. We got a PCR for her as soon as we were notified as she was a close contact to the person who had covid in creche. DD tested positive but has no symptoms. Id be annoyed if they reopened without all the kids being tested too as if they don't it runs the risk of someone else showing symptoms and having covid when they are all back in and then we all have another 10 days of isolation. Its shit but thats the way it is now alot of creches are having high covid cases here

If you can do the LFT when she's sleeping, do the PCR when she is sleeping as well, it does say that for children you can just do the nostrils if that's easier.

My three year old absolutely hates having it done (has had to multiple times, unfortunately) and actually cried when DH brought some LFT home from work the other day because he thought they would be for them. Reading this thread I wonder if we're doing it much more thoroughly than other people (though my previous fear is that we weren't doing it thoroughly enough!) as how could anybody, child or not, sleep through having the swab put as far as the nostril as you're supposed to for 15 seconds? People must just be tickling the end of their nostrils?!

@Annoyedandirritated I think it would be easier to do a test on a baby compared to a 3yo. I did one on my nearly 3yo and he hated it, rightly so, there's no way i'd want to do another one on him while he was awake.

@hardbackwriter, I thought the same reading this threa. My sister is a nurse and has been swabbing patients and herself from the beginning if the pandemic, she told me if its not uncomfortable as in 'ouch' then you havent done it properly.

@Hardbackwriter

My three year old absolutely hates having it done (has had to multiple times, unfortunately) and actually cried when DH brought some LFT home from work the other day because he thought they would be for them. Reading this thread I wonder if we're doing it much more thoroughly than other people (though my previous fear is that we weren't doing it thoroughly enough!) as how could anybody, child or not, sleep through having the swab put as far as the nostril as you're supposed to for 15 seconds? People must just be tickling the end of their nostrils?!

At the start I shoved it right in my nose until it really hurt for fear of not going deep enough, but when I've had one at the hospital it's not gone in as far (different people doing them so guessing they're not all wrong?)- definitely felt uncomfortable but not too bad. When they have done DS' the doctors and nurses have stuck it up and he hasn't been too bothered (and usually hates having his nose wiped let alone anything else!).

The only time I've had it done by a HCP was when they did them on me (they did both LFT and PCR) when they were admitting me to the labour ward - admittedly in the grand scheme of giving birth it didn't feel that big a deal but it definitely did hurt and she definitely did go a long way up my nose!

It’s my understanding that nurseries aren’t allowed to demand test results from parents, we can only recommend parents test symptomatic children. In our nursery If parents refuse to test we can tell them to keep their child home for 10 days but can’t ask for test results relating to PCR or LFT’s.

Barbaric and traumatic! 🤦🏻‍♀️Please OP she will survive.
It takes 10 seconds. Honestly if it’s that much of a trauma better keep her at home.

People are so brutal on here sometimes. My 6 year old has had to do quite a few (school bubble bursting numerous times) and actually he prefers the PCR tests to the LF ones. The cotton swab on the end is substantially bigger on the PCR tests and he prefers it. Unfortunately OP I think testing is just going to be our lives from now on. Glad you ordered a home test as my son also hates going to the test centre!! .

@AdriannaP

Barbaric and traumatic! 🤦🏻‍♀️Please OP she will survive. It takes 10 seconds. Honestly if it’s that much of a trauma better keep her at home.

I wouldn't say it's traumatic but I'm surprised at people being so dismissive about how unpleasant it is for a preschooler. The last test DS1 had was at a test centre and having initially said only one of us could go in in the end they had to come get me too (I had to leave DS2, who was about 8 weeks old, with a random security guard!) because DS1 had to be physically held down. He's not normally a difficult child - and he's normally easily bribed with chocolate (potty trained like a dream with the promise of chocolate buttons!) - but he knows it hurts and it really scares and upsets him.

It’s easy to be an arse if you have a child that finds them ok. My 2yo is one of those children. My 5yo on the other hand has become totally traumatised by them and was also a nightmare for the nurse at school for the nasal flu. For her a test is traumatic now, it involves pinning down and it is an awful experience for all involved. She can’t be reasoned with, bribed etc. To those of you dismissing it, just be thankful you have a child that tolerates them well. I certainly wouldn’t be testing her anymore than is necessary.

Nursery are being ridiculous to request this. It won't necessarily prevent the spread. So many scenarios:

You swab your child on Saturday morning and post PCR test. It comes back negative on Sunday evening so you send child to nursery on Monday.^^ However, on Friday afternoon your child played with little Jonny over the road who's asymptomatic and passed on Covid. By Tuesday, your child could also be spreading it unknowingly round nursery if they're asymptomatic too.

What a waste of NHS resources. A daily LFT would be more logical.

Our local test centre does "lollipop tests" for babies and young children. Much easier. DS is 4 and hates having the cotton bud go up his nose.

Our school did this, government allows it for close contacts. Just order a postal one, do it at home same as LFT, job done.

There will never be a time when I make my child have a PCR test for absolutely no reason. They are traumatic and distressing.

Its not the slightest bit dramatic if you are sensible about it. We are on PCR test number 14 (and a lot of lateral flow tests), nobody is traumatized (my son is 4 now and has underlying conditions that mean he coughs a lot and so gets tested a lot).
From experience of seeing other parents doing the test, its the parents fear that makes it traumatic, NOT the test.

@Itsanewdah

Its not the slightest bit dramatic if you are sensible about it. We are on PCR test number 14 (and a lot of lateral flow tests), nobody is traumatized (my son is 4 now and has underlying conditions that mean he coughs a lot and so gets tested a lot). From experience of seeing other parents doing the test, its the parents fear that makes it traumatic, NOT the test.

Or maybe your experience of one child isn't universal? Or - and I suspect this is the case for a lot of people saying how easy to do the test is - you're not actually doing it according to the instructions? If we have to do another one on DS then I'm just going to tickle his nose I think, since that seems to be what other people are doing! We have tried so hard to be bright and breezy about it, to explain that it will only take a minute and that we need to do it to see if he's poorly etc (he's only just turned three), I resent you saying that it must be my fault that he finds it painful and upsetting.

Why don't you just order a home PCR test? That way you can still do it while she's asleep.

Just to add, my son definitely doesn’t like them, but accepts them. The problem is, if you screw up once, that was it (a lesson I learned the hard way with my oldest who had a lot of tests from a young age - my fear screwed up his reaction to blood tests, it took us years to get over that. But it was ME who made it traumatic, not the test itself)

@Hardbackwriter i have 2 kids with conditions that require a lot of tests. Believe me, i’ve learned to administer stuff that’s a lot more unpleasant than a nose swap. I also learned that a child’s response to a test is exclusively the adult’s responsibility - you can shape that experience, but you need to take responsibility. I’ve learned that the hard way (see post above).

So you think a child won't react to pain unless an adult tells them to?

@sharksarecool

Why don't you just order a home PCR test? That way you can still do it while she's asleep.

They have