To hate organising parties?

[Thistledew]

I love going to them but find organising them really stressful. I hate it when people drop out at the last minute, often for seemingly no good reason. It really makes me feel like they can't be bothered.

It's DS's 5th birthday tomorrow. We've limited him to just 5 friends to minimise COVID risk. The mother of one of those has just messaged to say that she made a mistake with timings of her DC's ballet lesson and didn't realise there was a clash. She is going to go to ballet instead but can pop in after the party is finished to wish DS a happy birthday.

I just get this knot of anxiety that most people will drop out and it will be a rotten birthday party.

Well, I did find my dcs' parties quite hard work, and was quite glad when they got to an age when they didn't have them anymore, but it sounds like you've done the sensible thing and kept numbers to a sensible amount. You'll know next time not to invite the child whose parents accepts the invitation then withdraws at short notice for such a poor reason.
I'm sure your ds will have a lovely time and not even notice the missing child isn't there.

Is almost be tempted to reply 'please don't drop round afterwards as Tom is already going to be disappointed that Anna can't come to his party, especially now its too late to invite anyone else'. Fuck her scraps - your son isn't an afterthought to be squeezed in! (Unless he really wouldn't care and would love to see her in which case I'd try and bite my tongue but still think FUCK HER loudly to myself!).

It will be fine. Maybe invite someone else if you can do it without making them feel like the back up?

Definitely sack off the visit, and give your DD the extra party bag.

I'd be miffed, and put this child on the back up guest list in the future.

How could that parent not know the time of the ballet lesson? I think that's a lie

Tell them not to come round after the party has finished. Just make an excuse

And going forward, make them a low priority. They've shown they can't be bothered to stick to arrangements

It’s upsetting (we once held a party where only a fraction of the guests showed up, DD was 3 so didn’t care too much as the 6 kids who came had the entire venue and bouncy castle to themselves. The dads helped eat my carefully prepared jam sandwiches 😂

But often people have a genuine reason. Kid isn’t well on the day or parent isn’t well. Or kid kicks up a huge fuss about going at the last minute and you can’t force them into the car (that happened to me!)

I’d rather people didn’t show up if their kid was sick in the night but ‘feels fine now’ or has a bad cough ‘but it’s not covid as we did a lateral flow!’ Nobody wants to get ill at the start of the summer holidays.

Also I think the ballet reason is a lie.

More likely the child decided they don’t want to go for whatever reason and mum is too embarrassed to tell you. Mine did that once (she suddenly had hysterics about going and was inconsolable, I knew the mum well so I was honest and said I’m so sorry I just can’t get her in the car, she’s having a huge tantrum. Mum was a bit frosty afterwards. However DD then fell asleep on the sofa and woke with a fever and sickness, so I’m glad I didn’t force her to go! She must have felt ‘not right’ but been unaware she was coming down with a bug.)

Yes, it’s stressful. You were sensible to invite a small number due to Covid but I must admit I always invite more people, expecting people will drop out. Usually no one does and I end up with a party bigger than I intended, but I breathe through it and have a stiff drink after.

@DysmalRadius

Is almost be tempted to reply 'please don't drop round afterwards as Tom is already going to be disappointed that Anna can't come to his party, especially now its too late to invite anyone else'. Fuck her scraps - your son isn't an afterthought to be squeezed in! (Unless he really wouldn't care and would love to see her in which case I'd try and bite my tongue but still think FUCK HER loudly to myself!).

Thats harsh. Most peoples priorities aren't random kids at school.

I think she was really kind to offer to come round later and explain why. She probably paid for the ballet lesson and doesn't want to waste her money or make her kid fall behind. Perfectly valid.
Say yes. It'll still be nice for your son to see his friend afterwards.

I’ve done the last party ever for dd 8 can’t be bothered anymore in the future. Been doing them every year. Very expensive as well. I’ve had to entertain, feed everyone, then spend on party bags. I never relax or enjoy just busy all day and worn out. She’s inviting one friend for a sleepover next year end of.

@househousehousefox

Thats harsh. Most peoples priorities aren't random kids at school.

I think she was really kind to offer to come round later and explain why. She probably paid for the ballet lesson and doesn't want to waste her money or make her kid fall behind. Perfectly valid.
Say yes. It'll still be nice for your son to see his friend afterwards.
^^^
Yes this
My daughter had party's up to 11
The only time we missed a guest was when her dad was in charge and got lost and turned up late.
It's no big deal.
I used encourage my son to goes for a 'cinema' birthday and take a friend (much less hassle)
But for his 11th birthday we did do a bouncy castle birthday.
Ended up along with the invited guests, the little girl next door and her visiting friend being invited over the wall (she was 3 yrs younger but hey) and they staying most of the day.
Have a great time , with whoever turn up