to feel isolated

[deaexmachina]

Just sitting here working thinking that I could do with a chat with a sympathetic friend then realised I have absolutley no one I can rely on.

DS has ADHD and ASD, not medicated as he's "meeting expectations" in school and Dr will only prescribe if he's "failing at school". Never mind the rest of his life... There's no wider support availlable to us as DS "copes" partly because he's incredible and partly because of the support I give him. I also have ADHD and am also unmedicated because I'm "not in education so there's no point"

DH has MH issues and is medicated but still has down days where he really struggles, today is one of those days. He also has a couple of physical health conditions that sometimes stop him leaving the house much. Again, also medicated but the meds take the edge off rather than giving him his life back.

I work, look after both of them, fight tooth and nail for any support DS does actually get, do about 80% of the cooking/cleaning etc. as well as supporting several other friends with personal issues.

Few friends know what I'm dealing with but they have their own plates very full. Family dismiss everything with a bit of an eye roll (that hurts). I have no one I feel I can lean on and it sucks. Everyone says I'm capable and strong, well I am but I'm bloody fed up of it!

I'm aware this is a one woman pity party but I just feel really isolated. I'm in therapy but I have to wait for my weakly slot for that!

I'm crying.

My inbox is always open if you want a chat. I can relate to a lot of what you wrote there.
You're not alone, I know it can feel like that but you're not

Feel free to PM

thank you juicey09, it helps a little to know that at least one person hears me xxx

I hear you!

Totally get it. My 2 kids have ASD & adhd and I also work as it’s the only time I get to be myself. Rest of the time is spent looking after them at and while they are still young I suspect I have to do an awful lot of extra looking after than friends with kids the same age.
My two kids are also not seen as needing any extra support as they are ok most of the time in school but once home they either go wild or completely fall apart. Every meal time, teeth brushing time, getting dressed time is a complete battle.
I have really been feeling it this weekend as have found out friends are all away on a camping trip to which we were not invited, most likely due to the hyper behaviour of my kids. And while I thought friends were just not going for days out because of COVID, I have now realised they were, but just not asking us along.
I am left feeling incredibly lonely and upset this weekend and just do not know how to make it better. At the moment it seems we will just have to get used to doing things and going places alone but then I never get to socialise with any adults.

Muchtooyoung I hear you. We are also never invited to anything, I think it's just because we're "different", we're never ever anyon'es first choice. My son and I do a lot together but I don't have a single adult to talk to IRL who both understands and has time for me. I don't even want to whinge on at someone, I understand that's not fun, but maybe for example someone who when I casually mention DS not sleeping (so I didn't watch a program on telly or somthing) doesn't clutch their pearls and tell me to just pop him in bed and leave him to it "at his age". Others just don't have time for me, I've literaly been told "sorry I don't have time today" when I've sent a text (not an invitation just a chatty text). I get that. Other people are busy. But it makes me lonely. I can't get out anywhere on my own, I have no support and I'm like a rock in the middle of the ocean hiolding everything up above my head to avoid the waves.

Now I really am just moaning, someone shoot me.

You don’t need shooting, you need empathy and support. I have no personal experience of what you’re dealing with, but it sounds overwhelming. No advice I’m afraid, but I hope someone more useful will come along. Keep posting on here as much as you need, we will always listen.

Fortunately I love my son's company, he's really great. It's hard to get out there and make new friends though, I wfh alone, I know some school mums but literally none of them bother with me unless I instigate it. Everyone is friendly but no one is a friend and that's a lonely place to be.

Another day, another meltdown and I can't cope. My mental health is in the toilet and literally no one cares.

Sending hugs, do you get any time to yourself? You sound burnt out.